What I look forward to most about a home birth

[angel2010]

I was going through my filing cabinet today and getting rid of stuff. I cam across the notes my mom took at my son's birth and it made me sad. I had Carter via c-section at 10:33 am. I did not see or hold him until 3:30 in the afternoon. One of the biggest reasons I would like to have a home birth is that I get to hold lo right away and no one is going to take him off me (assuming everything goes well). What was your number one reason for wanting a home birth?

 

[madasa]

Pretty much the same as you! I had my first baby via forceps. I only had to wait 40 mins or so to hold him, but I really hated being the last to hold him... I realy hated that he was cleaned and a nappy put on and the staff were CHATTING.... as if the fact I had just had my baby was no big thing at all and there was no urgency whatsoever to put him in my arms. That was the bit that hurt, that it only took a moment to for him to breathe and cry after they took him, but it took forever for them to bring him back. I think maybe I could have reconciled it more easily if I knew they'd kept him because they really HAD to, to save him.

With pregnancy #2, I'd go to bed every night and I'd close my eyes and imagine myself in the pool, putting my hands down and catching my baby, and hanging on to them, ecstatically happy and not letting go for love nor money! The moment was even better than I imagined, when it happened.

I had to transfer afterwards and I had to stay in hosp for a few days. I didn;t realise until then just HOW MUCH I had also been looking forward to getting into my own bed afterwards, resting at home, staying with DH and DS and us not being seperated.... I was crushed about that. If I have any more children, they will be born at home and I really can't wait to experience that part!

 

[aliss]

For me, the #1 reason is simple. I hope this time people will listen to me when something's not right. Last time they did not and they got to go home at the end of their shift whereas I put up with the consequences for months!

 

[ace28]

Hmmmm I don't know what oru number one reasons are!

I really want a water birth... that's part of it. None of the hospitals around here (that insurance would pay for anyways) even offer it. My primary hospital doesn't even have tubs to labor in!

Also, we are a lesbian couple and my wife has felt very marginalized in the traditional medical setting... doctors who will pay plenty of attention to me as the pregnant one and ask me tons of questions never think to include her or in some cases even introduce themselves to her when they walk into a room. It didn't give us a lot of hope for how she would be treated once we got to the hospital for our delivery.

Finally, I am really looking forward to being at home, with JUST my wife and our midwife by my side. One of the things I don't like about a hospital is you can never get comfortable... you're not in your own environment, there's always a million doctors and nurses buzzing in and out of your room on whatever schedule is convenient for them, and I don't feel like everything they're doing is adequately explained. I would like to avoid the cascade of unnecessary interventions as well, and when it's all over and he's here in our arms, I can't wait to have those moments of quiet family bonding time and getting to know each other- completely in private, just us. It's going to be amazing.

 

[madasa]

ace, that is sadly not a million miles away from how hetero partners are treated We did find that my husband was treated better at home than in hospital while I was in labour - maybe partly because the MWs were coming into OUR HOUSE.... I hope the same is true for you and your wife.

 

[ace28]

ace, that is sadly not a million miles away from how hetero partners are treated We did find that my husband was treated better at home than in hospital while I was in labour - maybe partly because the MWs were coming into OUR HOUSE.... I hope the same is true for you and your wife.

So far it has been. Our midwife is very inclusive in everything she says and does... for instance, when she explains something, she makes it clear she's not just talking to ME. She looks back and forth between both of us, asks my wife questions, and makes comments directed at her and not just me.

We've also discussed with her how we want the birth to go- how we want my wife to "catch" and be the first one to ever hold the baby- and she has been entirely supportive of that and of my wife's role as a full birth partner and not just another body in the room.

This is contrasted to the experience we've had with the THREE different OBs we've seen so far... one of whom never once acknowledged my wife for the whole appointment until the very end, one of whom didn't do anything overtly rude but wasn't at all supportive of our birth plans or natural birthing, and one of whom was just very.... impersonal. I didn't like any of them, but the moment we met our midwife we both loved her. Home birth it is!

 

[MindUtopia]

I'm really looking forward to being in my own space and feeling like I get to call the shots, getting to wear what I want, move around where/when I want, eat what I want, having things be quiet and calm with candles and dim lights, being able to get in my own bed afterwards with LO and my husband (and him not having to leave afterwards). I'm also just really looking forward to those hours before labour gets too intense when we can just be at home together alone, without our midwives or doula or anyone else around. And I'm looking forward to feeling like I'm incredibly strong and can do anything once I know I can birth my baby.

 

[angel2010]

And I'm looking forward to feeling like I'm incredibly strong and can do anything once I know I can birth my baby.

I am looking forward to this too.

 

[MeanKitty23]

My current place to go to see doctors isn't exactly keen on the idea of natural anything. I phrase it that way because I've been circulated through doctors rather than dealing with just my primary so I can "get familiar with the staff" in case my primary can't deliver the baby.

My husband has another child by another woman. They split up, she found out she was pregnant and didn't want the baby, so now it's our baby and he's lived here with us since he came home from the hospital - I'm adopting! He was born Jan. 2, 2012. My husband and I (we got together fast...) were at the hospital during labor. He wasn't allowed in the room for the delivery at all - he was treated so rudely when we arrived by hospital staff. He'd gone to the door of her room and knocked, a nurse answered and said "No one is allowed in here right now." He said, "I'm the father, I wanted to let someone know I was here..." The nurse just said "Well, you'll have to wait in the waiting room." That's it. Didn't have anything to do with his son's birth at all. I feel bad for him - he was so upset about that because he was under the impression he'd be there for it.

So this is crucial for him to be apart of every single thing he can be apart of for this birth. We aren't having anymore children. When I asked a doctor if it was possible to allow my husband just to catch the baby, he LAUGHED and said "Well, if you wanted to do that, you might as well just have the baby at home!"

Giving my husband the ability to be involved in the very thing he helped create and having his support through this is SO important to me.

 

[MeanKitty23]

Might I add, my husband wasn't allowed in for his son's birth, but it wasn't a big deal apparently for nurses to filter through that room like it was a cafeteria line.

 

[belle254]

I too am looking forward to going through the early stages with just my OH and family I live with my mum (she's a community midwife and will stand in until I am definitely in progressing labour, at which point she'll call a 2nd/3rd midwife), sister who's 19 and my little brother. We're all really close and i'd love for this new addition to the family to be kept that way- in the family environment

I also really like the idea of being more comfortable at home, getting to do what I want when I want (as long as baby's ok) with little intervention. I know there's less chance of me wanting extra pain relief if i'm at home- the 30-40 minute car ride to the hospital will probably put me off going!
Plus when you're at home you kind of have more of a say over who comes to visit while hospitals have set visiting times. I'm going to have enough trouble fending off relatives without their being set times for them to go to the hospital! xxxx

 

[Rebecca_B]

Mainly the reason, having my wishes respected and supported at a time when i am most vulnerable.

But other reasons are...

Holding my baby straight away rather than being on my back while they 'sort out' the third stage and watching mum and hubby hold baby before me.
Allowing the cord to empty before clamping.
Being in a position i want to be in.
The environment being totally familiar.
Not having to transfer.

So hope it happens this time........ 3rd time lucky.....

 

[belle254]

Good luck rebecca b, hope you get it x

 

[Lady_Venom]

I have so many reasons but I guess my number one would be that I want to feel empowered as a woman. That my body was designed to do this naturally and I am birthing the way I want to without medical intervention that I feel is so unneccessary for alot of women (excluding when you actually need intervention in emergencies). My eyes have been opened to the corrupt medical world of birthing and I feel the safest thing to do would be to birth at home or in a center if you are low risk. I want that bonding, skin on skin contact. I don't want my child ripped away from me. I want to be in a calm relaxing environment so my chemicals and hormones can do their job at progressing labour. When the woman is scared and tense, the labour may slow or halt altogether. I want to work with my contractions and feel my baby come out of me and say I DID IT because I love you and I am strong for you. I am 22. I am young, I was scared, but just doing alot of research with an open mind helped me not to fear pregnancy but to embrace and love it. Every woman has their own feelings about it to which I respect of course and only YOU can know what's best for you. All I ask is that people do alot of research to the possibilities out there. Watching The Business of Being Born and Pregnant in America has changed my views on everything I once knew and I encourage others to watch them.
Wishing you all happy pregnancies

 

[flipflopfan]

I gave birth at home with my daughter and it was one of the most amazing experiences of my life. I chose it because the comfort of my own home is of the utmost importance when I'm in a primal, very vulnerable state. I knew I wouldn't feel comfortable being around a bunch of strangers in a foreign, sterile environment where I would feel bombarded with all sorts of stimuli that I wouldn't be able to tune out. If I can't tune it out then there's no way I would be able to turn inward and ride the waves, which means there's a good chance I would have pitocin administered and possibly a c-section as well. Obviously, this would not be my ideal outcome, so I stayed home. I'm very glad I did because after 9 hours of labor, Isabella was born, weighing 10.5 lbs, crying when half of her body was still inside of me, I scooped her up in my arms and she immediately began nursing as if she'd been doing it for months. It was truly amazing, and I have a deep suspicion that it wouldn't have gone as smoothly, and, thus, she wouldn't have done as well if we had been at the hospital. Also, I didn't tear at all and was feeling like myself again within a week.

This time around, I will probably give birth at a birthing center because my fiance is more comfortable with that. I'm getting comfortable with the idea, too, especially since they have deep tubs there and I'd really like a water birth without having to deal with all the set up and clean up at home.

 

[Lozdi]

My number one main reason for wanting a home birth this time is because I barely made it to the hospital last time, and honestly, going over speedbumps in a taxi while having contractions 2 mins apart is HORRIBLE! I was holding baby, coord still attached, placenta still in, bed at chest height (as it was when I got into the room) 17 minutes after entering the hospital! The midwives were shocked at how fast I went and were bustling around sorting the room while I held my son still on my feet! It was comical! Its very empowering to give birth while standing on my own two feet then to stand there still, holding him....but I can do all that at home without the discomfort of the taxi ride!

My midwife used the words 'Given your history of precipitous births, a homebirth will be best for you!'

It will also be nice to be able to settle down and relax after, rather than wait 6 hours for a doctor to say yes thats a baby and he looks ok...when I was ready to leave the hospital within an hour of giving birth.

 

[chattyB]

I'm really looking forward to cuddling up in bed with my husband and newborn son - it crushed me after delivering my other babies that daddy was just kicked out for the night before we'd even transferred to the ward. (all my previous deliveries were late at night). I'm looking forward to be able to move/walk/eat/drink/watch what I want too without feeling I have to ask anyone's permission. I'm looking forwards to being "me" in my own space, not in some weird smelling, noisy, impersonal space. I'm looking forward to being able to sleep when baby sleeps, without being woken by other women's newborns when my own is sound asleep. I'm looking forwards to being able to breastfeed without feeling self conscious and hiding behind a curtain, away from other peoples visitors.

I'm praying that I get my home birth!!!

 

[NaturalMomma]

Peace. Being able to be in my own home, having those who I love and trust around me, having hours with *just* my baby after birth, being able to breastfeed without the pressure of formula pushers, sleeping in my own bed and having baby right there with me.