I'm very into healthy eating and I also think you're overthinking it a bit - but that's okay - I overthink things too! Feel free to ignore anything that seems to extreme because I'm into my healthy eating
You can't have under cooked eggs/meat/fish, or lots of tuna and other high mercury fish. I heard deli meats etc. are fine if you heat them thoroughly like you said, although many have additives that are really unhealthy. No alcohol. No lox or other smoked fish. Should avoid pates. No unpasteurized milks or cheeses. Wash fruit and veg well before eating. Caffeine you can have if you are used to it, but best to limit it.
You want to mainly focus on getting a lot of healthy protein and fat. Vegetables are great for vitamins, but they are mainly water and not going to help you grow a baby! Avocados, nuts, seeds are all excellent. Yogurt is great.
Yes cut down on sugar if you want but that's for general health, not just pregnancy - you can add some honey or pure maple syrup or another natural sweetener if you need something sweet.
And of course allow treats, with all the cravings that come with pregnancy it would be horrible not to! Pizza at 2am? You bet!
For drinks - maybe very dilute fruit juice if you really need something else? Or some kind of caffeine free herbal tea?
I like to try and stick to whole grains or gluten free - but I still keep up my carbs - they are essential during pregnancy if you want to maintain strength and energy - lots of sweet potatoes and potatoes, rice, that kind of thing.
OH, and sex is totally fine, as much as you want, it can even be good for you and baby - releases lots of relaxation hormones. SO if you want it, go for it!!! Don't limit it!
Hope this helps.