What is reasonable access for a father of a newborn baby

[makecaker]

Sounds like you are in an awful position.
I personally would keep your mouth shut and dont stoop to his level. Just nod and agree, record all the nasty things he says/does and get legal advice.
I haven't been in this situation with fob but we have been in a similiar situation with my mil oh when she was very poorly. (long story) We tried to contact her oh after her death to sort some things without court he ended up going to the police and my oh got a warning for harassment! We hadn't harassed him just tried ringing a few times and got no answer so tried emailing, no answer etc etc. sorry going off the subject a bit but just a warning that sometimes it is just better not to contact him or anything, on the other hand if he keeps hassling you, you can always go to police, however this will probs make him more angry.
Birth certificate, I would put his name on. Hopefully all of this will e in the past when your lo is older and you won't want him to know or hate you for it and he has a right to know who is father is. Only thing I would say is that you need to make sure you have contracts of visitation etc before you leave him alone with baby so he can't take him and keep him aslong as he feels like.
I know it's hard an I know he might be a complete idiot but he is still the babies dad so no matter how much you hate him you have to put that aside and let your son have a good relationship with his dad no matter what he has done to you, Maybe look at it from the other side, if he was telling you you could only see baby for 2 hours a week or one weekend a fortnight?

However are you sure he really wants baby half the week (which i dont really agree with, unsettling for kids i think) and it's not just to hurt you? The more you resist the more he will say it?? So again I would probably just keep mouth shut come up with a reasonable plan of access for when the time comes for mediation/court or whatever. If you are reasonable they will see him as unreasonable and being a pain and go in your favour. I know you can even set it in place whether he is allowed to take lo on holiday each year, for how long and whether he can leave country or not etc so maybe be generous with that so you can be less generous with other access or something?
I really think you need legal advice, Im sure if you go to job centre or citizens advice or somewhere they will help you for free. If you have car insurance or house insurance with legal advice you can ring them and ask them legal advice about anything for free.
Sorry this is long and probably doesn't make huge sense bcos I wrote it on phone so can't see all of what I've wrote but hope it might help a little.
Good luck with it all xxx

 

[wouldluvabub]

Ok firstly don't feel silly for thinking things would be perfect, 6 years is a long time together and nobody expects what's happened to you.. Your not silly.. It sounds as though your ex has some issues and maybe the responsibility of this baby brought that all to the surface.. My bet is he will be a very sorry man one day and regret his decisions. But in the end you shouldn't put up with that treatment!

Yes everything is goin well!! And I am so excited to nearly be in 3rd tri! Can't actually believe it! It's going so quick but at the same time in starting to get uncomfortable after big meals and when trying to sleep so I'm not really looking forward to getting bigger lol!!

The names we are deciding between at spencer and Braxton. I am leaning more toward braxton This week!!! What is your little mans name?

Morning sickness finally buggered off after 16weeks! I think hubby had a hard time believing I was so sick until I threw up in his car! Oops!! Ha ha!! It's so funny while I was suffering through the morning sickness I swore this baby would be an only child, now it's gone I am already thinking about a second lol!! If my morning sickness was the same I just wouldnt be able to work.. I ended up loosing 5kgs in the first 12 weeks! It was horrible! I was so worried about the baby, I just have no idea how he could have survived but he did and even manged to measure a whole week bigger at my 12 week scan!! Amazing little creatures they are!!

 

[Lemonflower]

Thanks Makecaker ! FOB is serious - it's a bonus he gets to hurt me in the process of applying for joint custody !

I've heard he is smoking weed and dabbling in drugs at the weekend. He's not addicted and it's recreational but still I don't like it, I don't know where I stand with this infomation.
If he's going to fling accusations and lies about me then I will bring this up in court but then I don't know if it will sound like tit-for-tat !!!??
I don't want a "druggie" around my son - he knows I hate all that.

Wouldluvabub - I will reply to you on your journal, it's a happier thread then this one

xxx