What is wrong with people?!

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - Third Trimester' started by Dollface, Jun 5, 2011.

  1. Dollface

    Dollface Thank you Jesus!

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    Yesterday Kim and I took Courtney shopping, and I went to Target. (You get a free $20 gift card if you bring in your registry!) :happydance:
    Anyway...
    As we were pulling out, our neighbor was walking into the complex with her 10 month old son in the stroller, and 3 year old daughter walking behind her. It was 2 pm, and here in NC, it's HOT! I'm talking 90 degrees, easy. So we grumbled about her being out with them in the heat of the day, both are fair skinned and blonde. (The kids. She's a bottle job.) I noticed the little girl was rubbing her head, which was red as hell, and I didn't see any water bottles or diaper bag where one might be. We assumed, or hoped really, she had just walked to the mail boxes. As she was almost to her apartment, we didn't offer her a ride. (Didn't have room really, but if she needed to go further, we woul have made do.) So yesterday evening after we got home, I stepped out on my porch to call my dad, and she was out with the baby. I came in the house and burst into tears on Kim, cause the baby is BURNT BAD!! Only on one side of his little body, and it looks awful! She claims they walked to the park, played, and came home. The park is 2 miles away. I know, as I have walked it in my exercise routine, and clocked it. So, 2 miles up, untold time there, and 2 miles back. No sunscreen, no water. WTF?! My other neighbor said they saw her LEAVING around noon, and offered her a ride!! She turned them down, saying she needed the exercise. :growlmad:
    Then we find out her man had set out walking to try and get help fixing his broken down car, that's about 20miles from here. We think she took out after him, and that's why she didn't want the ride. But boy her babies are sure suffering for it now!!! I have never been so mad at someone in my life!! I'm seriously thinking I should call social services, except here, when you call, they then call the people and tell tem when they are coming! They just find a sitter, or clean things up and mke it look all nice and normal. If only they would do a surprise visit...:nope:
     
  2. tiggerpony

    tiggerpony Well-Known Member

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    That's awful!!! I will always make sure my baby has protection from the sun and as her due date is 1st of August I will be extra vigalent. Over here they make suprise visits on the person if you call Soical Services.
     
  3. NOMORENUMBERS

    NOMORENUMBERS Well-Known Member

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    That is absolutely disgusting!

    there was a story in the papers here last year, we had a really hot summer last year hottest on record and this woman went to the beach with her practically newborn baby - i think he was literally a month or two old - got drunk and left the baby out in the sun, it ended up in intensive care, loads of people were shouting at the woman all day to get the baby out the sun and i think someone intervened in the end but way too late

    her excuse she is a new mum and didnt realise! didnt realise babies arent an accessory to take to the beach! didnt realise as a grown woman that skin burns? didnt realise that getting drunk whilst in the care of your newborn is not a good idea?

    honeslty i can see why you are upset i would be too! at the very least i would have to go round and make sure the kids are indeed ok and she has the goods required to treat them such as after sun, water, medicines etc if she hasnt already she needs to get her children looked at by a doctor, i would feel obligated to ensure she has done at least that if she doesnt then i would call ss
     
  4. kandbumpx

    kandbumpx Well-Known Member

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    I can remember reading about this in the paper.. I couldn't believe it! It's disgusting
     
  5. kandbumpx

    kandbumpx Well-Known Member

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    Its disgusting that.. It's be a good idea to phone social services, but I think it's abit stupid how they ring and tell them they are coming!? Whats the point in that!? Here they do surprise visits.
    But I'd give them a call anyway.. They can't hide sunburn can they? :/... I mean surely they'll have to have the child there with them if they know social services are coming.. Or they'll know they're hiding something?
     
  6. Dollface

    Dollface Thank you Jesus!

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    They were putting aloe on the baby yesterday, and she isn't home right now. I think I will pop in and check things out later, and maybe go ahead and call ss... I prayed that the baby would be able to rest last night, cause I know how bad it is to sleep while burnt up. My baby is due on Aug 15, and as that is MY bday, I know how bad it gets. This is one mistake I will not be making myself!!
     
  7. lilwelsh1

    lilwelsh1 3 happy kids+2 angels

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    if this is an isolated incident i dont think u should be running to call social services at all. I would hope that if one of my neighbours randomly decided i was doing something wrong with my kids they would have a chat with me first!! My daughter burned in the sun one summer despite sunblock, it does happen! I think u r best off recommending a good sunscreen to your neighbour or in the babys case a good aftersun cream. Maybe she only intended a short trip that turned out to over run? We all make mistakes or end up with events taking a turn for the worst and mishaps occuring. Just because u didnt visibly c a change bag doesnt mean the neighbour didnt stop at a shop to buy a drink etc, i wouldnt jump to conclusions u may end up doing more harm than good. Talk to your neighbour, ask after the baby and get a better insight before taking any serious action, u obviously care so let her know u r looking out for her.
     
  8. Weeplin

    Weeplin Proud mummy :)

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    I remember this too. Shocking.

    Poor kids, I always put sunscreen and hats on mine when we get the weather (I live in Scotland so its few and far between). It was really hot a few days ago and I refused to go out between 12 and 3 which is the hottest time apparently. Babies should always have parasols.

    It can go the other way too though..I hate when it's all snowy and frosted and there is always one mother who doesn't put a hat, mittens or sometimes even shoes on her baby or toddler and you can see their fingers all red with cold.

    Disgusting. I hope that mother had the sense to put something on the burns and go to A&E..
     
  9. Dollface

    Dollface Thank you Jesus!

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    There are no shops in the area for her to have bought water, we live in a "Mayberry" type town, and stores are five miles out of the complex. I NEVER call ss on anyone, because I give them the benefit of the doubt, and hope they do better. I watch her 3 year old play outside all day every day with no supervision. At all. This concerns me, but not enough to have stepped on her toes. I have talked to her, and she said ss was called on her before she moved here, and that someone said she didn't watch her kids. She swore up and down that she does keep them in her sight at all times, and I know it's a lie. She brings the baby out in the evenings, naked, and lets him play in the yard. Scares me, becaue the pine trees shed needles and cones, and he could REALLY get hurt on one. The neighbore says she told them that she and her man fight bad, and have even hit each other with frying pans in the head!! I have known her for a few months, and would in no way jump to conclusions. She said she didn't think he would urn, because she never did as a kid, and guesses he got is dad's skin tone. And also said she didn't have sunscreen, as she didn't think she needed it. She didn'ttake them to the ER, just put aloe on the baby. I wish I had a pic of him. It would scare people! :cry:
     
  10. lilwelsh1

    lilwelsh1 3 happy kids+2 angels

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    well if shes had ss called on her before n the kids r still in her care she must be doing something right. I'm only saying cuz i've been here with my own neighbour, they r known to ss there were a few incidents where myself and the other neighbours became concerned. We helped out where we could, my friend bought headlouse treatment and treated the lil girl (with her fathers permission of course), i let them play in my garden, administered plasters and suncream as the kids r both red haired so burn easily, my other neighbour had them over for tea and so on. In the end i had to call the police because the dad was taken to a&e seriously ill and the grandma locked the children in the house alone. They have been removed from their dads care because the mother took them to a house where they wouldnt be safe but we all looked out for the children first. Its sad they arent there anymore but the dad is working hard to get them back. Im glad we all 'monitored' the situation first so the dad knows he has support, as a parent its invaluable.
     
  11. xcharx

    xcharx Well-Known Member

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    :( poor kids!! Seems abit silly to me that SS ring ahead..a surprise visit would be a lot more affective!! X
     
  12. Dollface

    Dollface Thank you Jesus!

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    Thank God you were able to help them when you did! It's so important to try and help, and not just condemn people. That's why I didn't call anyone rght off. But watching her make mistake after mistake is getting to me.
     
  13. lilwelsh1

    lilwelsh1 3 happy kids+2 angels

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    it is horrible and frustrating, i think in the case of my neighbour we all knew he was a single dad and thats not a usual thing really. We knew he'd be a little clueless especially with his daughter, the mother used to make surprise visits (she was not supposed to be there at all) and the children could often be heard crying because she was just horrible to them. I did speak to another relative about the mother being there and it was sorted quickly. I dont know where u r but in our county the resources ss have r very strained, they try their best to keep children with their parents because there just aren't enough foster carers etc. Its worse for the children more than anything especially if they r moved from one place to another, which isnt uncommon in the care system.

    I really hope your neighbour wises up tho, people do seem to get a bit silly in this weather. I was a bit worried the other day when my friends baby was in her OH's car, the windows were closed and she was all wrapped up in a blanket! Shes 9 weeks old. I opened the window and asked if he was on a long trip, it was a very warm day and he was stopping at his mums for a bit first so the baby was getting out of the car.

    Im glad the childs burns r being treated with aloe if this isnt an isolated incident tho i can understand your concern, if it appears things are off and the relationship is volatile between her and her OH there sadly may come a time where intervention is needed. If things r off ss will notice and take action regardless of them calling first. I'd keep an eye for now tho, this lady does sound pretty clueless so she might be in need of some guidance.
     
  14. NOMORENUMBERS

    NOMORENUMBERS Well-Known Member

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    i would still go round there and suggest that she take the children to the hospital (sorry just read all the posts and couldnt see one other than the aloe comment that suggested she had taken them to be seen) last year i was out in the sun for a couple of hours, normally i liek it really hot but i had my neck exposed which is apparantly a bad thing to do when the sun is strong . . . anyway to cut a long story short i wasnt sunburnt but i ended up with the worlds worst heat stroke the next day, i was dehydrated, raging temperature, flu symptoms, being sick it was really bad. her baby needs to been seen to to make sure that the burns arent going to scar him . . .some babies end up staying in hospital due to severe sun burning

    i would just end this with if she is a responsible parent she would take her child down to the hospital, if she doesnt and someone else calls ss then that will look ten times worse than her admitting she has made a grave mistake she has a duty of care to ensure that when mistakes are made and or medical attention is required that she takes her children to get it as they are unable to themselves

    pooor poor children xkx
     
  15. Dollface

    Dollface Thank you Jesus!

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    Well, the baby looks better. But I did see her taking out with them again a few days later. She did have a diaper bag, and he was dressed in denim overalls. Still not good, but I guess it's better than the direct sun. Also, we came home from an early appt, and her man was just coming in. He went in their apartment,and came out, little girl following. He asked one neighbor if the woman was at her place, and the neighbor said no. I was shocked, as I knew the girl didn't get out of the car with him. Then he went to the other neighbor, and she was there, with the baby. When they came out, he was pissed, and the little girl kept saying,"Mommy, you can't leave me at home!" So now, I wonder what I am supposed to do. Neighbors said they thought the little girl was with the daddy, because the woman was at their house for a while. No, she was home, alone. :growlmad::growlmad: This is not an isolated incident, nor is it going to get better. I really want to whip this :growlmad: woman!
     

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