What makes more sense?

[RyliesMummy]

I already have a gorgeous girl, and I want at least 2 kids,

What makes more sense

finishing my course(s), losing weight, settling into a job- then getting pregnant

OR

Finishing course, try for a baby in january 2011, have baby in Novemberish, then after a few months do my 2nd course, lose weight and by the time I'm done Both of them would be in school &nursery, so I could concentrate on my job!

Seems obvious to me! Someone tell OH that?

 

[klr0311]

me personnaly id say the second one just my opinion you need to do whats natural to you xx

 

[RyliesMummy]

Thats my opinion too, I just needed to rant because he can't see that I'm right! x

 

[klr0311]

Would you look at my post please see if you could help me its the one called confused please help xxx

 

[Armywife]

I'd say options number two honey. The way i see it, you have a longer career shelf life than you do a fertility shelf life. That is just my opinion but its how i personally look at my life xxx

 

[alex_85]

I voted for option 2! But thats just me being super broody, hehe. For me, if you already have a LO, it makes more sense for you to have another one sooner, cos like you said, you could then focus on job while they are at nursery/school. What are your OH reasons for waiting?

 

[RyliesMummy]

None that are of any importance, he just 'wants to wait a few years' I wrote about our conv in my journal if you want a read x

 

[dragonhawk]

Well, honestly.... I'm the only person that has suggested option 1, closely followed by the 3rd one.... Sorry.

Sorry, but offering the perspective of someone a little different (OK, devil's advocate!) is that studying for qualifications, at whatever level is incredibly stressful, or can be stressful. I should know.... I was in my final Undergraduate year at the same time that DH was in his thesis year for his PhD. Never has a household been more hostile.

However the only thing that I can say is listen to your inner instincts. I know that for me, I had a tick-list of things prior to having children. We've now completed and satisfied all of these and children is the next one for me. DH understands this and know (to his pain) that child(ren) are now the next thing for me.

SUggest you have a big heart to heart about this, first with yourself and then with your OH.

 

[xsophiexleax]

I'd go with number 2, but i'm impatient
I think I'd rather have another baby and then concentrate on my career than get settled in a job first just to get pregnant and go on mat leave for months :\
I hope he comes around soon hun x

 

[panther19]

2.

You have a limited number of reproductive years but you can work yourself to death... I'd pick the one with the time limit first.

 

[JessdueJan]

welcome to my world I am still having this conversation over and over with my OH...men silly things x

 

[jellytots2010]

Just personally, for me, I would want my babies close togeather to help them bond, not be jealous etc etc.

Do whats right for you! I hope that you get what you want x

 

[Missy.]

I would pick option number 2 hun. Makes more sense to have babies then settle into a career instead of settling into one and then have to take time out to have a baby. That's what I'm doing anyway as it seems to make more sense plus the fact that I want my kiddies to be close in age so they can grow up together x

 

[Rikki]

I would go for number 2. From experience I think its better to have them closer together as they can play with each othery. With a larger age gap the older one often doesn't want to know and the younger is lonely. Also, easier to lose weight if you breastfeed & running round after 2 kids!
A lot of couples find it takes a lot longer to conceive number 2 and fertility declines after 25.
That's what I would do. If you didn't already have a child I would probably have said wait until career is established though!

 

[RyliesMummy]

Thanks everyone, now someone please tell OH all this lol,
My dad actually suggested me tricking OH into it because he doesn't like "an odd number of grand kids" then went on to tell me about how my mum said we were all planned but he knew nothing about it!

 

[jomax]

I'm not sure which option i'd choose now but i have made the choices along option 1. I was studying exams for a long time and chose to finish them before TTC because i knew i would never be able to study and bring up children. Then i moved house and started a new job and decided to put TTC off in order to settle into the job (and ensure i got a good maternity package!). recently i lost 1 1/2 stone and have been TTC for the last 3 months or so.

putting it off for so long has been a really hard decision to make and i've been desperate for a baby but i'm also glad for the choices that i made because i think they were the right choices for me at the time. sometimes i regret leaving it so late but not often.

you have to do what's right for both of you. good luck!

 

[mummy3]

I would say 1, just because Ive been there and done that, 2 kids and finishing uni isnt easy!!!

Ok, it does make you more focused, I actually did better after having the kids BUT as someone said earlier it gets very stressful

 

[RyliesMummy]

It's not really stressful at the moment, because it's only 1 day a week, I'm thinking maybe do both courses, then think about TTC, then just do a little refresher course after baby no2 is born and when I'm ready to go to work. Obviously this isn't a plan it's just an idea x

 

[RyliesMummy]

Oh and secondly, I'm really glad no-one thinks I'm stark raving mad! lol

 

[silverbell]

I don't think you're stark-raving mad at all, but is it right that you're only 18? If so, I'd definitely opt for option 1. You have time on your side and it would mean the studying was all out of the way and done with before having children. There's no rush to have more children just yet at your current age (in my personal opinion).

(Oh and your daughter is beautiful, by the way)