What scares you?

[KittyKatBabe]

Thanks girls, I think I have been feeling guilty with myself for feeling like that, its because I know so many girls who are TTC that I feel a bit odd kind of doubting it, if that makes sense to. Its not that I am doubting it, like we said they are all just fears cos we know the changes it means to us.

I have said this time that I will defo not tell anyone until my 12 wk scan is out the way, I am hoping I can hide it too, but like you say if I was to go out and not drink its immediately noticeable, I would need to limit the social outings during this time, but as much as you don't want to tell everyone I reckon some of the closest to you will be hearing the news before you intended to say lol.

But I have my ready made excuses dependant on circumstance,
1. Good Old - I am on antibiotics for 2 weeks for said infection
2. 7 day Detox Diet and this is my 5th day so don't want to jepoardise it (good for any midweek get together) or that you have decided to not drink.
3. I went out last night, haven't stopped being sick so can't stomach another drink at this point............
4. Be the designated driver... need get up early the following morning
5. if you can't beat them, and if you happen to have a kitty or get your own drinks, make sure you go the bar just order a tall soda/tonic water and say nothing it looks like a mixer!

Although if this unfortunately turned out to be every weekend for the 8 week, then they may get suss lol. I know I would haha!

 

[madcatwoman]

oh i understand completely, my fears are similar to yours, having the dynamics of our relationship scares me, being pregnant and all that happens with that scares me, funnily enough i find the whole birth thing not particually pleasant-but im not scared either(just concerned about leaving my dignity at the door!!)

 

[dragonhawk]

Oh hooray!!!! I'm so pleased to read that I'm not the only one that feels this way.

Hubbie and I have a great relationship and I do get concerned about how the dynamics of our relationship may change. I think this and having to forego my office space at home are the two things that I am most concerned about, and I am perfectly aware that these are both incredibly selfish things to worry about.

However there is also nothing I want more in the world than a LO now. Anyway, it'll give me a perfectly good excuse to continue the Sky subscription for the Disney Channel.

 

[rainysunshine]

Luckily, my friends and I don't often drink together. I don't think it would be a shocker if I didn't have a drink when we did go out. My family would probably be more suspicious than anything, but I've never been much of a drinker anyway. My biggest worry is that I would be too tempted to tell someone that I'd just blurt it out too early. I've had to tell my bosses at work that I'm TTC because I keep getting sick and they keep asking questions about my health and if there is anything they need to know.

I'm really not sure about how to tell my family. Since we aren't married, I think they'll assume it was accidental or that we weren't being careful enough. I really want to excited reactions from a "traditional" family - marriage then babies, that's just not me. Does anyone else have fears about telling people?

 

[madcatwoman]

Luckily, my friends and I don't often drink together. I don't think it would be a shocker if I didn't have a drink when we did go out. My family would probably be more suspicious than anything, but I've never been much of a drinker anyway. My biggest worry is that I would be too tempted to tell someone that I'd just blurt it out too early. I've had to tell my bosses at work that I'm TTC because I keep getting sick and they keep asking questions about my health and if there is anything they need to know.

I'm really not sure about how to tell my family. Since we aren't married, I think they'll assume it was accidental or that we weren't being careful enough. I really want to excited reactions from a "traditional" family - marriage then babies, that's just not me. Does anyone else have fears about telling people?

Yes, i have a bit of a fear about telling people,many reasons really. Im 30, married but my dad sees me as his little girl(wasnt even that keen on me being married!) and doesnt like little children- so i'l dread telling him. My OH's family are nice enough but im worried about them being a bit OTT about it all and start prodding and poking(like people do) etc(im quite reserved). and lastly i wouldnt want to tell anyone too early(later the better) because we all know what can happen!

 

[mommyinwtg]

Luckily, my friends and I don't often drink together. I don't think it would be a shocker if I didn't have a drink when we did go out. My family would probably be more suspicious than anything, but I've never been much of a drinker anyway. My biggest worry is that I would be too tempted to tell someone that I'd just blurt it out too early. I've had to tell my bosses at work that I'm TTC because I keep getting sick and they keep asking questions about my health and if there is anything they need to know.

I'm really not sure about how to tell my family. Since we aren't married, I think they'll assume it was accidental or that we weren't being careful enough. I really want to excited reactions from a "traditional" family - marriage then babies, that's just not me. Does anyone else have fears about telling people?

Yes, I'm in kind of the same boat. We're not married. We've casually discussed it in sort of a "down the road, in the future" way. Since I just turned 38, I feel like I'm out of time and need to get to it if I'm ever going to be a mom. He's still out of work, though, after getting laid off over a year ago, so it's not the best time financially. Also, I work with a bunch of very nosy judgemental people so I'm not looking foward to making that announcement. (Although, I really have no problem standing up for myself--I just prefer to keep my private life private, ya know?)

In any case, I'm scared of the entire shebang (carrying the baby, delivery, bringing baby home, how our lives will change, etc) but I know that whatever "issues" we encounter will be totally worth if/when we're able to welcome a LO or two into the mix.

 

[Sofiekirsten]

Me and My DH have a fabulous relationship, we are newly weds but we have been TTC for over a year now and I have been pregnant before in a previous relationship....I am really scared that my DH can't have kids....

 

[inkdchick]

The thing that now scares me is that my heart problem has come back and i have to stop trying altogether........just had a veru=ification from the docs and have now got to wait for an ecg appointment at the cardiology at the hospital so will have to sit and wait and see what they say...

 

[Mya209]

Oh hun! Get yourself well! That's more important!

 

[bekc2005]

Hi all.
I agree with all the worries about the normal things - money, job and of course the little matter of pain!!!! lol!!!
my other worries are sillier I guess - What if someone else uses my fave name (I feel silly to have a fave without a baby on the way) and the other I've got it in my head that now I am trying I want to give my parents their first grandchild so what If one of my 3 siblings beat me to it???
Silly the trivial things that matter so much!!!! ......or is it?????

 

[Mya209]

Thanks bekc! Your worries will fade once bubba is on the way!! Xx

 

[hopeful4bfp]

my biggest fear is being my mother

she is the most selfish person I know and I could be dying and if it cost her anything she would probably just pull the pug.

in 2006 my fiance died, she came and got me from the hospital ignored my pleas to just go home and took me to a used car lot to buy her a truck then took me to her house and left me there alone to go get it.

she has had custody of my nephew since mid 2006 and in 2007 she asked me to take him ,even though I was only 19 and living in someones garage, because he was causing problems in her relationship.

when I told her recentally I was getting married she said that she was gonna sit down my dh and 'tell him what I'm really like' and see if he still wants to marry me.

also even now that I'm married completely independent and stable she still gripes about me not getting pregnant cause 'shes not gonna raise another one' she honestly believes that she will have to raise my kid not me and my husband

so yea I can make it throug the pregnancy delivery labor... Money issues can always be worked out... My relationship with dh would only get stronger but I'm terrified that I'm gonna wiind up like the model I had

 

[Curlybug]

Gosh your mother sounds a difficult person...
It sounds unlikely that you will be like her - these things dont have to pass on to the next generation. You sound well adjusted and Im sure your fiance would want to marry you whatever she said.
Curly

 

[hopeful4bfp]

yes me and dh have been married just over 2 months and my mother didn't show for the wedding and I don't speak much to her ... Thank you for the confidence though I just fear that my children will wind up hating me for one thing or another due to karma cause of my mother I know it sounds silly but I guess not all fears are rational

 

[Squeeker]

Big hugs to everyone... it's good to share what you're scared of, it makes it seem a tiny bit less threatening in some ways.

For me, of course I have lots of fears (pain, etc), but the big one is birth defects. My brother was born with a very rare birth defect, and though I know it's not heredetary, and I love my brother to bits and pieces, I don't know if I could handle it. It's a topic that DH and I have glossed over, but I don't think we could possibly be prepared until we were faced with the real deal.

 

[Shady_R]

The most scary thing for me is getting that bfp. I have had ectopic in the past, its scary knowing that i could have another.

 

[Shady_R]

Hopeful i think you will make a great mum. Your mum sounds awful, but you have got a husband by your side and sound like you have loads of confidence. Your children wont hate you, they will love you no matter what. You will love them no matter what. You know already im sure how you want to raise them too.

Squeeker i have had a daughter with brain development problems, happened while i was carrying her. I have a high chance of carrying another baby like my angel cause my body allowed me to carry her. So till i get my 20 week scan its hard to enjoy the pregnancy properly. Try not to worry about it too much. I know how hard it is though.

 

[inkdchick]

Found out yesterday that it is all going to be ok with the heart but just need to see a cardiologist to confirm but am more worried that the doc and the specialist is right and my eggs are no longer any good now i am 43 and that they were right in telling me to go away and forget about having a family as it isnt going to work, i still hate them for it but they may be right xx

 

[Mya209]

Inkdchick - so glad to hear you are well! Are you trying for number 1? Don't listen to the doctors. Keep trying. It can still happen!

 

[4magpies]

I am scared that I will have another MC.

I am scared that I will have an ectopic due to my damaged left tube.

I am scared that I will never have children.

I cant wait for everything that pregnancy brings, the sickness, the feeling rough and "fat". The pain of birth. BRING IT ONNNNN!!

xxx