What should i do ??

Discussion in 'Teen Pregnancy' started by Christine1993, Aug 27, 2009.

  1. Christine1993

    Christine1993 Full-time mummy to Aidan

    Joined:
    Jun 16, 2009
    Messages:
    2,218
    Likes Received:
    0
    ive been with my boyfriend now for nearly nine months..we had only been together 3 months when i fell pregnant. hes so amazing and has always been there for me through the past few months. but today, i have really started to get thinking. im only 16 and have just finished college so i have no source of income but i do have my savings. my mum has been amazing and has bought me and baby so much stuff and i hope to pay her back for everything. ive also bought lots of stuff with my savings. but my boyfriend really isnt pulling his weight and he's wanting to spend his money on laptops and phones and clothes for himself etc instead of buying stuff for his house and i think hes expecting me and my mum to buy everything. he has a good job and earns a good amount of money but no hes still saying his laptop and that is more of a 'priority' which is bull. another thing that is bothering me is that as i have no income just now its hard for me to afford buses to go and see him when its 3 pound a journey. he has an unlimited months bus pass so theres no stopping him coming round to see me but no he either 'has other stuff to do' or cant be bothered. so ive been thinking why should i be bothered to spend 6 pound to go and see him everyday (2 buses id need to get) when he can basically come and see me for nothing? i know im rambling on a bit so sorry im getting really boring haha i just wanted to see what other people thought. i dont think he understands aswel that IM the pregnant one, not him. im the one whos feeling tired most of the time and sore. know what i mean? any advice or comments are welcome just to see what all you other ladies thought :) thanks :) xxx
     
  2. toseland13

    toseland13 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2009
    Messages:
    673
    Likes Received:
    0
    aww hun :hugs:

    there must be a reason, maybe if you ask him it will shed light on the situation? men do get strange when pregnancy happens for some reason.maybe he thinks he can buy stuff for himself now coz he wont have money when the baby comes? i dno, who really knows what men think?:shrug:sorry couldnt offer any advice but men will be men lol is he happy about the baby? maybe your mum can give you advice?she was young too :thumbup:

    big hugs and sorry for lack of help :flower::hugs:
     
  3. Love Bunny

    Love Bunny Guest

    Some men are crap when it comes to baby stuff hahaha! Mines just the same! He's amazing and very considerate - always giving me massages, carrying my bags, spending heaps of time with me, rubbing/talking to bump but he's shit on the buying stuff for baby side hahahaha! But it doesn't bother me cause I'm fussy and I'd rather sort all that stuff out myself =D ! If he brought something I'd probably be like URGH TAKE IT BACK MATTHEW ITS VILE!!!!!!!! :rofl: so you see my point ;) if he does bugger all now for you - just make sure you work him twice as hard when baby comes :p thats right!! He can do double nappies while you sit and chillax :haha:

    :hugs:

    Best of luck hun =D !!! x
     
  4. Christine1993

    Christine1993 Full-time mummy to Aidan

    Joined:
    Jun 16, 2009
    Messages:
    2,218
    Likes Received:
    0
    toseland13, that was helpful so u dont have to apologise haha. yeah he says he wont be able to buy himself stuff when babys here. we just had a heart felt conversation so i can kind of see where hes coming from now. and yes i am definatly going to work in twice as hard when baby is here haha :) thanks :) xxx
     
  5. HotChocolate

    HotChocolate 2nd Trimester

    Joined:
    Jul 5, 2009
    Messages:
    274
    Likes Received:
    0
    hes still saying his laptop and that is more of a 'priority'.. That would PISS me off! But men are really weird about baby things. When i bring home cute baby clothes OH is like "oh right" it takes ALOT for him to go "AWWW" lol..
    Maybe he'll be completely different when the baby actually gets here, he'll probably LOVE going out to buy toys and stuff like that. Even nappies if you're lucky :) but even if he doesn't, MAKE him! It's his responsibility too :) xxx
     
  6. Christine1993

    Christine1993 Full-time mummy to Aidan

    Joined:
    Jun 16, 2009
    Messages:
    2,218
    Likes Received:
    0
    Hahaha. it did piss me off completely especially when its not his first 'priority' and he has a perfectly working computer haa i hope he really does see sense when babys here, if not... xx
     
  7. etcetera

    etcetera Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2009
    Messages:
    414
    Likes Received:
    0
    men are stupid lol.
    idk what goes through their minds, I mean honestly?

    *sigh*
     
  8. lol. my oh isnt to interested in buying the baby bits at all, well he isnt wanting to spend his cash for it, but hes wanting to choose it if i pay. Hes saying he is saving up (which ill give him his due hes saved nearly £1000 in 5 months) so we can have the perfect home for baby, but hes also on about a £900 t.v that he wants for the house :/ lol but at least its for the house... i wouldnt mind him coming to me one day and saying 'look what ive brought for oliver' though... i would make a nice change
     
  9. booflebump

    booflebump Mummy to Toby

    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2009
    Messages:
    26,659
    Likes Received:
    0
    Im sorry hun, but if his laptop is more important than you and his baby, then screw him. You are much better off without him. There is absolutely no reason from what you have told us, for him not being able to be an active participant in your relationship, and it just sounds like he cant be arsed. Dont chase after him - tell him if he wants you, he'll pull his finger out, and if he doesnt, well theres your answer

    x
     
  10. Christine1993

    Christine1993 Full-time mummy to Aidan

    Joined:
    Jun 16, 2009
    Messages:
    2,218
    Likes Received:
    0
    Hey, thanks you guys for all the posts :) I agree i dont understand why men are like this compared to us women haha. xx
     
  11. lilies

    lilies Active Member

    Joined:
    Jul 24, 2009
    Messages:
    26
    Likes Received:
    0
    Tell him something for him is just as important as something for your child. He needs to know he will still have a life after the baby is born but that he will need to buy fewer things for him and more for the baby. A laptop is not a silly thing to buy really provided he is buying it with cash and not on a loan. Just make it clear you cannot just see him spend money on himself and the baby needs his financial support too. Can you go laptop shopping with him, pretend you are interested and then suggest you pop to get a little outfit for the baby after (nothing expensive, just a little sleepsuit or something).

    My partner bought a new laptop today and he is using it quietly and getting great enjoyment from it, do not underestimate the power of a gadget to occupy a man for a silly amount of time, lol.
     
  12. tasha41

    tasha41 Mum & Dad + 1

    Joined:
    Jul 29, 2008
    Messages:
    25,793
    Likes Received:
    0
    First of all.. he has a job, he should be buying the stuff. You shouldn't have to spend your savings that you could use for further education or a place of your own or a vehicle or something when he clearly has got money to spend. A "lap top" is in NO WAY a priority when you have a baby on the way and need to buy baby stuff! :dohh:

    I can relate a lot, my boyfriend works all day and is always tired/sore/etc and I have to go to him. Which is wrong.. um, hello... I have our child 24/7.. I'm up in the night, I don't get to go to bed when I please and I don't get a "break" from the house everyday like he does (work).

    Tell him he needs to come see you, you're only paying out once per week to see him. That will save you so much money!
     

Share This Page