what should i do?

[cheeky92x]

End of the day its up to you Have a really good talk with him and good luck with whatever you decide to do

xx

 

[angelstardust]

I 'fell' pregnant with my eldest at 19. My BF (now DH) was a few years older and although we did talk about a termination, we didn't want that. We stuck together and had the baby.

It was hard, but I was quite mature and not into the drinking/clubbing anyway so didn't miss out on anything that way. We bought a house, got into a lot of debt, had ups and downs, got married, cleared our debts, had another baby.

This is my 3rd pregnancy and due to circumstances with DS2's birth, I was advised to have a termination by my first consultant. I didn't want it, and there are threads and posts by me that show that. It was thje hardest decision of my life, and the fact that I could die and leave my two kids motherless made it no easier.

I had doubts, I knew it woudl regret it my whole life and when I went to the appointment I broke down. Luckily, I got a second opinion that day.

I have supported friends through terminations when they have been the right choice for them. For me, it was not. All I can advise you is that you have to make the choice for you.

Look at your life, how would you feel as a single parent, worst case is that you ex would want nothing to do with the baby/child, he won't pay maintanance. What would you do? Live with your parents or get a place of your own? Would your family support you, give you a break? Imagine all the lives you may lead, basically can you cope with a baby?

Then think about what is right for you. It helps to talk to people, I know what those hormones are like, it is hard to decide with all those hormones racing through your body. I made lists of pros and cons. Tried to imagine if someone walked in right now with a baby and said 'it's your baby, do you want it? I can take it and give it to someone else.' Ignore the pregnancy part of it and think of the baby and you alone at 3am, the toddler you have to take out shopping with you, the 4 yr old with a tummy bug and a fever....

Make the decision for you, nobody else.

 

[mz_jackie86]

Hey hun, I know how your feeling and it bloody sucks dont it!

I wasnt wit my babies dad, when i found out i was pregnant and i told him straight i wasnt getting rid of it, but he has caused so much drama during my pregnancy that i sometimes wish i had got rid of baby!
Your ex seems like an arse (sorry), and if he isnt even going to listen and talk to u maturely then i would tell him to do one! He was big enough to do the deed so he needs to be big enough to deal with the consequences!

When you do make the decision make sure u make the decision for yoruself and baby and not anyone else because at the end of the day your the one who will be left holding the baby, no-one else!!!
xx

 

[bootyb]

Hiya hun i kinda know where ur comming frm...as my ex ran a mile wen i told him i was pregnant nd he made very clear frm the begining he wanted nuffing to do wit baby. he had the cheek to say that if i aborted we wud get back together. so i was confused until i was like 11 weeks... i decided i was gonna have her but then things started goin wrong..so i went to see my GP to arrange for an aborttion... i got a date to go to the hosp which was like 2 days after i had seen GP because of the time-scale. as once i was 12 weeks i wud have to give birth to baby rather than take a pill. but when i woke up the night of the abortion i jes cudnt get out of bed... i cudnt go through with it...ndi havent regreted the decision i have made since then... yes thing shave been tough nd will probably get tougher at times. but im still happy wit the choice i have made. i can sleep at night nd i can laugh nd not have the naggin thought of 'if only' or 'maybe' or 'but'. This was my choice nd i knew the consequences... im not saying have the baby. im jes saying dont let anyone or anything make this life changing choice...YOU...make the decision you can live wit. I have a friend whu decided to have an abortion jes b4 i found out i was pregnant...she followed a trend 'our' so-called 'friends' had done. as two of our friends had had abortions earlier that year nd they convinced her it was for the best. Now she cant look me in the face. I havent seen her since i decided i wanted to keep my baby. She finds it hard because she is no sure wether she made the right choice.but she will never know.either or both have consequences.... ask yourself, 'can i live with the choice i make?'... good luck. hugs xoxoxo

 

[Kris0309]

I was sorta in your situation. Except kinda backwards. I got pregnant at 19 and the fob and me were not together. When i took a test and found out I was pregnant he ended up getting back with me but was totally against abortion and told me if thats what I decided he wouldnt want anything to do with it and he wouldnt help mepay for it. Well I decided to keep my baby. And 3 months later he left me. So almost my enitre pregnancy he wasnt there now that Im due in a month he wants to be there.
Dont try to please anyone. Its your life and your body and ultimatly your choice.
Im now 20 still very pregnant and waiting for my son to be born. I gave up everything. My job, going out, my horse, .. pretty much my life. But its what I chose and I know as soon as i see my son nothing else will matter.

 

[xBlackBeautyx]

I was in a similar situation to you. I got pregnant at 17 with my then boyfriend and he was a total c*nt about it and said I did it on purpose and wanted me to have an abortion. That waas my first pregnancy and I got very attached to that baby but I decided I didnt wanna be accused of trapping a man or bringing a baby into the world knowing the dad didnt want him so I had a termination. And you know the sick thing about it is, my ex regretted it and tried to change my mind last minute and wanted us to try (at 17! Out of his mind) for another one. My point is, you have to do what is right for you because men always change their mind. You never know what they want. Do what you want because at the end of day, he can stay away if he wants to, but its not fair to deprive you of the priviledge of being a mum.