What to do when your OH wants to wait and you really don't...?

[Katapillar]

So me and the OH have discussed having children, and both want children. We're very much on the same page with regards to how many, what sex we would want if we got a choice, we've even found the 'perfect' names!
But, he wants to wait, as we are still living with parents at the minute, and I agree that would be the best bet, however, I am that broody now that I quite frequently burst into tears at the mere thought of children, not the best thing when I work in a school! I want a child more than I have ever wanted anything, I hate having to wait, and keep trying to persuade him that having a baby now wouldn't be the end of the world, but I don't want to push him into it.
His parents also don't help, they want us to wait till we're married (we're planning our wedding for 4+ years from now) and I don't think I could hold out that long!
I'm so desperate to have a child and I just don't know what to do!

 

[Kiwiberry]

That's rough Mama, especially since you don't have any children yet. I'm going through the same thing atm. My OH wants to wait three years from now. He didn't even seem concerned when I said I didn't want a big age gap.

 

[Katapillar]

That's the thing, he knows how upset about it all I get, it just doesn't seem to phase him at all though! ��

 

[Maleficent]

Do you have any plans to move out?

We had originally planned to wait until April 2017 to TTC as we are in the process of buying a house. I just couldn't wait any longer so we have started this month on the basis that we should be settled in our new house by the time any baby arrived.

 

[tkeith8109]

This is a tough one. Is there a way you can compromise with it. Maybe move up the wedding date and move to an apartment or something or is this not an option?

 

[Eleanor ace]

. How long do you think it will be until you move into your own place together? Perhaps once you're moved in your OH will be more likely to compromise on ttc. Is waiting until you're married important to your partner or just his parents? If it is important to him then maybe you could make plans to bring your wedding forward, make it a smaller wedding (if it's the money that's holding things up rather than readiness) so that you can ttc a little sooner. Hang in there!

 

[maryanne1987]

Do you have a move out date? As much as I get that overwhelming longing for a child it may be best to wait just till you have plans to move at least. A new baby brings a lot of upheaval and your partners parents may not want that under their roof. Have you discussed it with them? It's surprising how much noise and mess such a little person can make. And as much as I'm sure they would adore their grandchild they may not want to go back to being kept awake all night with a baby crying. Could you plan to move out sooner if you don't have a date already set, even if it means settling for a little less in terms of housing? As for the wedding is it important to your oh that you be married too? If it is could you not bring the wedding forward as a compromise? I hope you find a solution soon, good luck!

 

[Pearls18]

Make a plan, work out goals i.e. Getting a place together, what you need to do to get to that point, breaking it up into manageable goals will make it easier. You're biologically designed to feel broody, but I agree with him now isn't a great time at your parents, you just need to know you're working towards it.

 

[Sophie1205]

I agree with Pearls18. If you have a plan and dates for certain things to happen it makes it much easier to wait. I have been broody since my son was born (nearly 8 years ago now!) but since me and my partner made a real plan together I've found it much easier to cope waiting for so long! We've got specific time frames for him to complete his PGCE, get a job, get a new car and move in together etc... Make a list of all the things you want/need to do before you can try and write it all down. xx

 

[Katapillar]

Thanks guys, we actually had a long chat last night and he broke down and said he'd been thinking about it for the last 2 weeks and he really wants to start, our plan originally was to buy a house, we've been saving for about 6 months, but after the chat we had we have decided to start trying, we've said if it happens and we need to we can move into a rented house and continue to save, so for now, we're just playing everything by ear and we're going to start trying!�� Thank you all though! ������������

 

[tkeith8109]

That's awesome! Good luck and hope everything works out for you.

 

[Kiwiberry]

Amazing news!! Good luck!!