What to do with your toddler during a homebirth?

[Guppy051708]

I am *planning* on having a homebirth. We dont live near family (at all) and dont have many friends...the one friend i do have will be doing the photography of the birth. Besides we want our DS with us anyways. He is 15 months old and the most energetic, motivated boy i have EVER met (which says a lot bc ive worked in plenty of day cares!) Anyways, im just not sure how this is going to work with him and his needs and then of course me and my needs during labor ...what will you guys do with your LOs? Or do you have experiences with this situation?

DS is not one that i can just hand him a toy and a book and then hope he goes off to his space He is the type that loves to be into everything 24/7 (unless of course he is sleeping)...so...idk what to do...advice? ideas?

 

[Tacey]

We're having a doula so I think that will help a bit. I think there might be times when I won't want Alice in the room, but I will want some support, so I'd feel odd if DH had to go out with her. Would a doula be an option for you?

Hopefully I'll labour while she's asleep and present her with a new sibling in the morning!

 

[Guppy051708]

Negative. I actually am a doula but we dont have funds for one...my business isn't currently running (with my having babies), and so i cant even barter
we live 10 hours from family, so thats not an option either
and we relocated over a year ago so i dont feel comfortable hiring a babysitter...ideally i would like DS to be there just for the actual birth but not for the labor....it would be amazing if i labored while he slept and then in the morning the baby was born...wishful thinking

 

[NaturalMomma]

I'd just have your friend who is doing the photography also be on the duty of taking care of your son if need be. You don't know how he'll react while you're laboring, he might get scared.

 

[Guppy051708]

yeah i was thinking about doing that...i think thats our best option at this point...hopefully she can get some good shots during the actual birth portion...DS tends to be very energetic but im sure she could manage (she has a 16 month old boy, so i think she would be okay).

Thanks for the suggestion! Its probably the route we are going to take, never thought of it before

 

[NuKe]

i dont know what we're going to do, but theres no WAY poppy will be present at my hb.. she gets soo upset if i even stub my toe!

 

[Ju_bubbs]

Gosh, I hadn't even considered this! Lol. My LO turned 1 last week.. I suppose I'd better hope my eldest son is home from school when I go into labour, and he can babysit!! LOL

 

[geogem]

I will be employing my mother as babysitter, I have told her if they are in bed and settled then she may be in the room with us but if the boys need sorting that is her primary job.

I know you dont have this option so probably no help, sorry.

nearly there guppy!! not long now!!

 

[Elucida]

Ideally I would like for her to be there but, currently it would likely upset her. My mum (who is a senior MW) might be there or it will be SIL and my daughter loves both of them so it will be fine either way.

 

[Blah11]

My toddler woke up at about 8am and roman was born at 8.48 so she was awake during the very last part of my labour. OH got her breakfast and put our TV on upstairs for her to watch cartoons and she wasnt any prob at all. When Roman was born she came down and said a quick hello when we were waiting on the placenta and went back upstairs until i had delivered it

worked out great and was a lot less bother than I had imagined.

 

[Guppy051708]

^ i wish something like that would happen to me! lol
Would love to be in labor while DS slept and then have him there for the actual birth....thats wishful thinking though, im sure haha

 

[snowangel187]

I suggest setting up a 'safe' place in both the delivery room and one in the next closest room.. if need be u can put him in a playpen or crib with toys. Have sippy cups ready to go, snacks prepped etc.. and then hopefully between ur friend and oh you should be covered if needed.

Fingers crossed u have labor while ds is sleeping tho. U never know how he will react. He could be fine and unknowing, or he could be freaked and want only u... I know u said ur family is far away. But any chance of somebody coming and staying with u or maybe another friend?

I know how u feel tho, we moved 1800 miles from family and friends and although we have made a few friends, I don't know as tho I know/trust them enough to leave my kid with them for labor/delivery... Good luck..

 

[amore]

Depending on the length of my labour, we may have to take ds to hospital with us as my family will take a while to arrive, and like you we are in a new area and I am not leaving him with complete strangers. I am planning on buying some new toys and then giving them to ds when my labour starts so he will be occupied for a while.

I am not sure how big your house is but when I was planning a HB (I am not allowed anymore as I am high risk) I was going to purchase an activity centre things, slides, small climbing frames, tunnels etc that can be used in the house and then outdoors after. Something like this for example -

https://www.littlewoods.com/little-...n=/b/5264/s/bestsellers,0/o/2&trail=5132-5264

Hope that helps x

 

[future_numan]

My DD will be home during my HB. Our plan ( hope) is to labour during the night. If she is awake then DH will be looking after her until time of the birth then she is going over to our trusted neighbours house until the after birth is here. Then she will come home to meet her new brother.
I have two midwives who attand the birth so I have lots of support while DH tends to DD.
I want to keep the birth experience to just DH, DD and the midwives.. no other family.

 

[Guppy051708]

So there are some girls that live with us (they needed a place to live while they go to missionary school). They will all be leaving once i go into labor and staying elsewhere for a few weeks, but one of the girls is freakishly linked to DS (DS LOVES her to pieces lol), so if they are not on missions, she is going to entertain DS while everything happens. If she is on missions, my friend is a photographer and will be here, so she is just gonna take care of him...i decided against calling family. I wanted my mother here (family lives 10 hours away and none can come up ahead of time except for MIL and i feel so uncomfortable around her i dont want her here, at all until after baby). Anways, my mom said she would come up (though im not sure she woudl make it on time anyways), but she wants to bring my 2 yr old brother AND my stepdad...i am not down with having a zoo at my house, so i guess im no longer calling her!

Thanks for the ideas ladies! Feel free to keep posting if you want, i think this thread will help out other HB mamas.

 

[ljo1984]

My plan was to have Imogen at home with us, in the same room if needs be. My mum came round and got her dressed, entertained her. Cause I had to transfer my mum took her to her house.