gorgeousmumof
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I have been split from my now ex husband for over 1 year. I have an almost 3 year old and a 9 month old. At the moment he has them 3 days and 3 nights a week. But recently I am struggling as a single mum for the days I have the children and am constantly stressed.
We have always had problems with my 9 month old sleeping. But he is still waking up to 12 times a night.. refuses all milk in the day and had 4 bottles at night. I have tried everything to change this.
My almost 3 year old is now having nightmares up to 6 times a night. And now refuses to go to bed at bedtime and will scream in his room for up to 2 hours.. which wakes the baby.
He is swearing all the time and is always having tantrums over anything. Refuses to do anything I tell him, hits and bites his brother.. and generally does anything he shouldnt. Even when walking he tries to go on the road when I tell him he shouldnt.
I have now found out that dad lets both kids fall asleep on the sofa with him, and then he takes them both to bed asleep. He gives chocolate and sweets before meals and swears infront of them.
I am about to go through mediation about access as I cant cope with the stress of him ringing me everyday and changing days and mithering me. He also doesnt provide milk etc for the kids when he has them.. I end up sending it every week because he makes me feel guilty.
I have no idea what access to offer him at mediation that is fair, as he now wants them 3 days and 3 nights in the week so that he can work weekends. I have tried to discuss with him the importance of routine.. that we need to follow the same and also with discipline. He just tells me the kids are good as gold when they are with him. Which is either a lie.. or its because he never says no and lets them get whatever they want.
I am absolutely shattered and am really not enjoying being a mum at the moment. I get a max of 2 hours broken sleep a night.. and when the kids are at their dads I end up catching up on sleep and catching up on house work. I should be studying for an exam next month, but I just do not have the energy and the will power at the moment.
I feel like a rubbish mum. Like I am always the bad one saying no constantly. Have tried the naughty step which used to work but now doesnt. Have tried taking toys away or consequences. Nothing works anymore. If I tell him I will take a toy away he doesnt seem bothered.. will actually go and get it and give it to me.
I used to love taking them to the park, to play centres, doing activities.. but now its just one long battle. Even him walking home from nursery is a nightmare because he is touching peoples car doors, going in their gardens and trying to run in the road. If I make him go in the pram he just kicks and screams for the entire time.
I just dont know what has happened to my little boy who used to be so well behaved. I think it is all to do with what happens at his dads. But I do not seem to be able to control that. But I need a way forward. Sorry for the long post.. hope someone can help?
We have always had problems with my 9 month old sleeping. But he is still waking up to 12 times a night.. refuses all milk in the day and had 4 bottles at night. I have tried everything to change this.
My almost 3 year old is now having nightmares up to 6 times a night. And now refuses to go to bed at bedtime and will scream in his room for up to 2 hours.. which wakes the baby.
He is swearing all the time and is always having tantrums over anything. Refuses to do anything I tell him, hits and bites his brother.. and generally does anything he shouldnt. Even when walking he tries to go on the road when I tell him he shouldnt.
I have now found out that dad lets both kids fall asleep on the sofa with him, and then he takes them both to bed asleep. He gives chocolate and sweets before meals and swears infront of them.
I am about to go through mediation about access as I cant cope with the stress of him ringing me everyday and changing days and mithering me. He also doesnt provide milk etc for the kids when he has them.. I end up sending it every week because he makes me feel guilty.
I have no idea what access to offer him at mediation that is fair, as he now wants them 3 days and 3 nights in the week so that he can work weekends. I have tried to discuss with him the importance of routine.. that we need to follow the same and also with discipline. He just tells me the kids are good as gold when they are with him. Which is either a lie.. or its because he never says no and lets them get whatever they want.
I am absolutely shattered and am really not enjoying being a mum at the moment. I get a max of 2 hours broken sleep a night.. and when the kids are at their dads I end up catching up on sleep and catching up on house work. I should be studying for an exam next month, but I just do not have the energy and the will power at the moment.
I feel like a rubbish mum. Like I am always the bad one saying no constantly. Have tried the naughty step which used to work but now doesnt. Have tried taking toys away or consequences. Nothing works anymore. If I tell him I will take a toy away he doesnt seem bothered.. will actually go and get it and give it to me.
I used to love taking them to the park, to play centres, doing activities.. but now its just one long battle. Even him walking home from nursery is a nightmare because he is touching peoples car doors, going in their gardens and trying to run in the road. If I make him go in the pram he just kicks and screams for the entire time.
I just dont know what has happened to my little boy who used to be so well behaved. I think it is all to do with what happens at his dads. But I do not seem to be able to control that. But I need a way forward. Sorry for the long post.. hope someone can help?
