what would you do? Family issues

[liamsmum]

My DH is having an ongoing spat with his brother, it's only really blown up really badly in the last few months.
The inlaws seem to have taken sides with DH's brother which is not surprising, they live in each others pockets and we are more distant and live our own life.
Due to them siding with the brother my DH will have nothing to do with them.
They have a large group of friends with kids who have kids, there are parties to attend and this is where my problem lay.
Our DS has been invited to a birthday party and my DH is working that day, so I am expected to attend on my own with DS.
I feel out of place with most of them, and don't want to have to deal with his brother and his family and everybody else, I know what they are like with regards to outsiders, and like it or not that is what I feel like I am.
I don't want to offend the girl whose child is having the party as I get along with her very well, but I really don't feel like I can put myself out there on my own.
Should I ring her and tell her what is happening (or lie and make up an excuse not to go )? I'm quite sure she has an idea, but like I said I have nothing against her but most of the people who will be there really do have an "Us verses them" mentality.
Any ideas on how I should handle this?
I wish I lived so far away I didn't have to deal with any of this, i'm sure Christmas this year is going to be wonderful

 

[Chaos]

I'd be inclined to go. There are going to be other people there and you don't have to hang around and talk with the family. If they are pleasant and say hello to you, be civil back, but I'd not go out your way to talk to them. If they bring up the subject of the arguement just tell them that it's between the brothers and you don't want to get in to it at a happy occasion.

I dunno if I'd tell the host, its a family arguement and this is her kids Birthday. Maybe you could take a friend with you?

Also you gotta think, making the DS miss out on a birthday party because the adults aint getting along kinda sucks.

 

[Gwizz]

I agree with chaos - this is for the children really and about the birthday not the arguements involved with the adults.

Immerse yourself with helping and playing with the kids if the adults ignore you etc and dont worry about it too much - its their loss not yours. I agree with the friend taking also, make a day of it together

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