what would you do? help :(

[sarahxx]

this is kind of a long one..
well me and FOB were together nearly 2 years before LO was born, but as soon as she was born cracks started to appear. it all came to a head when she was 10 weeks old and he hit me and spat in my face while i was holding her. since then he's tried to convince me to get back together with him and work things out on a few occasions, but i've said no. anyway, along with all this, his mum rang and threatened me so i said she couldn't see LO anymore, FOB went to a solicitor and caused murder so that he could take LO to his mums until in the end i agreed. and now he's announced he's going to Angus for 6 months to 'get over me' and won't be seeing the baby until her 1st birthday. i don't even know whether to let him see her when he gets back as he'll be a total stranger and he's hardly seen her as it is. what would you do?

 

[chels24uk]

he sounds like a knob and very selfish. Id personally do my best to cut contact if he cant be bothered to be a proper dad. He cant expect to just disapear for 6 months and then to be welcomed back as worlds best dad! You dont pick and choose when to be a father.
Also, if he can hit and spit at you whilest baby is in your arms, that kind of says a lot about this "man" and about how much his baby's safety and wellbeing means to him.
Well done for staying strong and not going back, it would have only gotten worse if you had let him get away with it xx

 

[sarahxx]

i know, but it's really important to me that she has a good relationship with him. but then i'm not sure what to do because if he keeps coming in and out of her life i think it will do more harm than good iykwim?

 

[laura1991]

Just tell him straight, if hes going to be coming in and our of her life they you dont want him in it, then its his decision. Surely seeing his daughter is more important?

 

[Surreal]

i know, but it's really important to me that she has a good relationship with him. but then i'm not sure what to do because if he keeps coming in and out of her life i think it will do more harm than good iykwim?

You have to be present, in order to have a good relationship.... I'd tell the knob, either be there or not. His choice. No yo-yo BS.

 

[chels24uk]

i think its important to most mums that their kids have a good relationship with their father. But you cant make that happen, thats down to the dad to make that happen. Your right by coming in and out of their lifes will do more harm than good.
To say hes going away for 6 months to "get over you" is a load of bull crap. Hes a coward doing a runner. xx