What would you expect from a new partner...

[staycutee]

if FOB had left you, had never been in touch or met your LO?

If you were together, lived together and your relationship was one you knew would last (I know you can't KNOW this but hypothetically).

Would you want him to step into a father role? Would you expect him to?

 

[daveww]

i certainly think he could step into the role of a good influence and role model and if the fob has never been thier it would certainly be good for the child to have a male influence in thier life. just aslong as your sure about the man

 

[xSophieBx]

I would want him to yes, if I 110% trusted/loved him then yep...

 

[Laura2919]

Well I can only really go on my best friends relationship.

Her and her ex were together for 3 years and they had a daughter together, he cheated and moved out and lived with the girl he cheated with, she became pregnant, my best friend found herself a guy and fell in love, the ex then started saying things to his daughter like if you call ****** dad then I will kill you and she came home and told her mum. They went to court and after 3 court dates and him failing to turn up the judge ruled in my friends favour and he had no contact. She soon forgot all about who her real dad is and she now calls my best friends partner dad. He loves her unconditionally and they are now expecting a baby together...

 

[xJG30]

I'm not single but I had this situation.. I've been with my partner nearly 2 years and my LO calls him Daddy, which he is fine with. I talked to him about it and he said he was happy to be 'daddy'.

 

[Paton]

Can only say from my situation. FOB is still in the picture with regular visits and him and DD have a 'bond'.

My now partner knew about DD straight away when he met me (she was 6 months old then). Straight away he wanted the family role and would love to take on the 'Dad' role. I didn't let him for a good 6 months and kept him and DD separate whilst I got to know him and it wasn't until I was sure this was a relationship that would work and I wanted to work, that I introduced him to more time with DD. We've now been together nearly a year and are now engaged so he will be step dad and already refers to DD as step daughter.

But FOB is still her dad and he has the right to that title (even if he really doesn't deserve it!). I will therefore let DD decide as she gets older what she wants to call my partner but stick with refering to him by name for now.

As for him taking on the Dad role.. I never asked that of him, but I really appreciate that he wants to and is willing to put the time in. DD is part of me.. if he loves me, he has to respect and love that part too.. It would cause so many more issues if he didn't.. especially if we then had more children and he made a distinction between DD and those kids. So yes I would expect the man to take on that role of responsible father-figure but only after a certain amount of time had past and the mum knew the relationship was a longterm one. Otherwise he would just become a random person wandering around the house, offering no guidance to the child and that just seems confusing to me xx

 

[melly4390]

i had this with my FOB and my eldest daughter she has never seen her FOB as he walked away before she was born never to be seen again, i didnt let anyone into her life till this FOB and as i had known him all my life and we lived together etc... he was her dad she saw him as it and he asked her
1st if she would like it. that bein said my life has swung full circle in the fact that im back where i was 12 yrs ago only diff being this baby was planned and courtney was my gorg surprise ( i was on the pill when i fell with her)

 

[Snowball]

If I met someone who was going to be for the long term and I felt unconditionally loved him enough, I'd let someone else step into the father role to Louie... maybe Ozzie but that may be more difficult depending on his level of understanding. Sadly, that's the only way they'd get a proper Daddy now

 

[mkm1083]

I would actually like for my future husband to adopt my kids. Really that would almost be a requirement as my kids don't have a father figure in their lives at all.

 

[TattiesMum]

Kaylums FOB has never really been in the picture ... whereas Tattie's now OH has been with her since the wee fella was 6 weeks old (and they have known each other for a lot longer than that)

Kaylum has always called her OH Daddy - he's the only one he's ever known (even though he will be brought up knowing that he has a biological father) and he has a close bond with him. They now have a daughter as well and it's quite obvious that Tattie's OH loves both children equally

 

[whoops]

Only if a new partner was long-term, and there was a probability of having more kids with him would I let him step into the father role with Lily.

Otherwise, anyone new that I meet will be like any of my other friends, in terms of their relationship with her.