What!!

[BrokenfoREVer]

Okay, so sperm donor get 3 days access a week, 2 mornings/afternoons depending on his shifts & 1 full day.

Now he's got it into his head that to be a dad he has to bath Josh & put him to bed. I live with my mom & there is no way she'd let him stay that late. Plus, as a household we have a routine going. Also & more importantly, that's MY time with Josh, it's the end of the day, it's peaceful & quite & I love that time with him.

So I said no to FOB. So now he's decided that I should take Josh to his (where there is no way to bath Josh & it's totally unfamiliar to him) & let Josh stay over.

I've said no to overnight access before & said no again. FOB said I could stay with Josh. I told him there wasn't enough money he could pay me so I'd stay n his house.

So he's decided I'm blocking him being a dad & he's taking me to court to get his 'fatherly rights'

Help me, I'm not being unreasonable am I? My son is only 10 weeks old. Also... This overnight access thing has only come about since Josh started sleeping through.

I'm totall baffled as to what planet he thinks he is playing on.

 

[dustbunny]

What on Earth?! Her has amazing contact with his son, most FOB's get every other weekend and for newborns every other weekend for an hour or 2!
No, you are not being unfair at all... it seems to me, or maybe I am reading this wrong, maybe he wants you both back? I don't understand why he would want you both sleeping over?
If bath time is so important to him why can he not come to your house? It is unrealistic to expect a 10 week old baby, especially if breastfeeding, to stay overnight at FOB's. No court would allow it.

I hate bullies. Big hugs to you

 

[Mammy2Joojx]

a 10 week old baby needs his mam 24/7 i don't care what anybody says even if the parents are together it needs its mum at that young age! Tell him no & thats that! I doubt the courts will let him have him overnight at such a young age x

 

[MumToBe2012]

I don't think you were being unfair at all. Your baby is still too young to be staying at different houses. Just try and explain this to FOB because he probably just doesn't understand that - guys can be pretty dumb when it comes to this lol - and say that there will be plenty of opportunities for sleep overs when your boy is older. If he's still an idiot about it then tell him to take you to court, because what are the courts going to see? A mother that gives her son the opportunity to spend time with his dad and your FOB is going to look stupid.

Just remember you've done nothing wrong, he should be lucky that his baby's mum lets him see the baby, as there are some that wouldn't.

PM me if you want to chat.

 

[Crumbsx]

Ignore him.
He's out of order and talking through his arse.
He's getting way more contact than courts would give him, so if he did take you to court it's like shooting himself in the foot.
Don't worry about him, he's clueless

 

[Dream.dream]

There is no court anywhere that would take a baby that young away from their mom. its Absolutly rediculous! He has more then enough visitation and you completly right to say that you want your time with him

 

[teal]

Definitely not being unreasonable. A baby that young needs his mummy xx

 

[lyonesse]

I agree with the other posters-what a tool, he's got great access and should be satisfied to see bub during the times nominated by the court, not dictated by him

I permitted my LO overnight stays at this age cos I knew he'd be fine-he knew his dad, I trusted him, BF knew his routine etc. If he's willing to disrupt Josh's routine simply for his own selfish reasons, then I'd tell him to take it to court. He's been given very generous access terms and I'm sure any judge will be annoyed he's wasting their time.

Feel bad he's pulling this crap on you though

 

[jessrabbit]

Having similar issues with FOB at the moment, mine is 6 weeks old and he is demanding to know when he can have him overnight and keeps asking to stay over at mine.

Finding it hard as I'm tired and trying to avoid arguements, but have told him straight and he has gone silent on me.

I think they dont really understand the boundaries of not being in a relationship x

 

[AnnabelsMummy]

that's ridiculous!!
it sounds like he suffers from that man thing "my way is the only way!"
i think that's not on - he's not putting what's best for the child first, tell him that until the child is over you're sticking to it, as you feel the child needs stability and things it recognises (and it's mummy) etc.

i'd say let him take you to court - because you have such an amazing access agreement (in his favour) - that if anything they'd probably just advise him not to bother!