What's the post-op norm?

[WantsALittle1]

So I consider my post-op experience after DS's delivery to be traumatic, and I'm wondering if it's the norm or if this hospital was the odd one out...

I had a relatively routine RCS with a spinal. The only special circumstances for my delivery were the vacuum assist (I had polyhydramnios) and a bit of nausea from the anesthesia. But what happened next is still traumatic for me, and not what I would expect after delivering a full-term, healthy baby.

They took my son away for over three hours and wouldn't let me see him because they said he needed tests and to be examined by a pediatrician. So instead of getting to be with my son and husband post-op, they wheeled me into this giant dark recovery room alone and said my son was going to the nursery. My husband went with him to the nursery at my request. As a consequence, there I was, alone, coming out of anesthesia, no baby, no husband. I asked the recovery room attendant why my baby was taken and they told me I was post-op so I was not allowed to hold the baby yet. They said to rest, let the anesthesia wear off and I would see him soon, that my husband and mother in law were able to see him through the nursery window. I was like, okay, why can't my husband hold him right here, next to me? Why can't he be in a bassinet by my side? Why can't the pediatrician come to us instead of my son being whisked away? Why are you literally taking my brand new baby from me moments after delivery, and separating me from him for hours during a critical bonding period? Additionally, 1-2 days into my recovery, I'd fall asleep in the hospital bed with DS in the bassinet next to me, and I'd wake up to an empty bassinet. They would take him for testing, shots, without telling me, while I was sleeping. I was furious!

Did anyone else experience this? Am I likely to experience it again or was this a one-off? I can't really compare to DD's birth because that was an EMCS at 31 weeks and they HAD to take her away immediately because she needed to get to the NICU.

 

[Teri7489]

Hi there, im so sorry you had a horrible experience.

With regards to taking him away for 3 hours, did they ever explain why? After my son was delivered (ecs) he was taken over to the side in my view, checked over, weighed and wrapped up. He was then given to my sister to hold next to me so i could see and talk to him. I was then taken to recovery assisted to feed him then off to the ward. There were a few occasions where i woke to find him gone and freaked. i was told they had taken him to bathe him which i did not want. apparently its normal for them to leave mum sleep so she can recover. Can you have a chat with your midwife or doctor to discuss it? After my daughters horrific delivery i requested to discuss everything with my consultant to try to help me understand and process it. Might give you some answers. Big hugs x its so hard when a special moment is taken away from you x

 

[WantsALittle1]

Thank you so much for your kind words. It really is so hard, it makes me tear up a bit just thinking about it, but that's probably just pregnancy hormones.

What they told me is that he needed to have a bunch of tests and be examined by the pediatrician. The pediatrician couldn't get to him right then, so he would have to wait his turn. So they just had him in the nursery, in a bassinet, waiting to be seen during that time. That is what I had a huge problem with--it's a horrible way to handle someone's newborn. Why not let him wait beside me in recovery, in a bassinet with my husband right there, until the ped could see him? These were the questions I asked, and they just had no reasonable response to the questions. Things like "well that's just how it's done"

????

 

[Avo82]

I think that is terrible!!
Have a chat before hand and tell them unless there is an emergency with ur baby he/she stays next to you with your husband, if they want to do tests they can but not in the bonding time you should be having skin to skin etc, sorry you had to go through that last time. Good luck with everything

I've got a planned section for 11th may, I'm starting to get nervous now xx

 

[Blue12]

I'm so sorry that happened to you. With my twins they were immediately given to DH who held them (beside me) while they put me back together. Then when they wheeled me to recovery they put the babies in my arms which I had thought was strange because I was a bit shaky. I was then tandem feeding them immediately while in recovery.

 

[WantsALittle1]

I'm so sorry that happened to you. With my twins they were immediately given to DJ who held them (beside me) while they put me back together. Then when they wheeled me to recovery they put the babies in my arms which I had thought was strange because I was a bit shaky. I was then tandem feeding them immediately while in recovery.

Blue, this is exactly what I wish would have happened. If I wasn't quite ready to hold him immediately after being closed up, I wish they would have just let my husband hold him beside my recovery bed. And it really concerned me that three hours had gone by and I had not even gotten a chance to try nursing him yet! I was very concerned that he was hungry and cold in a room somewhere. The anxiety about that really overwhelmed me.

I tried to talk to my doctor about this at my 20 week appointment last week, that I want to make sure that my baby will remain with me for at least the first few hours after birth, and I what I got was "it's too far off, we can talk about that later. Plus, that's the hospital who handles that, our role ends after the operation."

Reaaaaaallllly reassuring, haha.

 

[minties]

I feel close to tears, and furious, reading your experience. I've had two c-sections in two different cities and NEVER had anything like that happen to me. My first was an emergency and he was looked over for a few minutes and that was bad enough! Sophie was looked at for about 25 seconds and handed to OH who handed her to me.

Never, EVER, could or would baby be removed from your room here without your consent or your walking baby where they needed to go. I don't even know what a baby nursery is other than some glassed in room from American TV shows or movies, I thought they were a 1980's thing. Neither of mine were ever touched by staff without asking me first and most checks (all with Sophie) happened in my room.

I always hold my babies skin to skin the entire time in recovery.

I would have been hysterical waking up in my room with my baby gone and would have thought they'd been stolen!

 

[WantsALittle1]

Minties, I was furious with the hospital, and still have not emotionally recovered from the whole experience. I actually ended up leaving a day early, despite being in horrible pain and not being able to walk very well, because I was so tired of dealing with them. Not only did they take my baby from my room, multiple times, without my consent for tests and shots, but they messed up my postop medications as well. Specifically, anesthesia makes my nose itch SO bad. It's constant, horrible, unbearable itching. It has happened with both C-sections. To get benadryl would take hours because someone forgot to permanently add it to my meds list. So every time the MA would show up with my pain meds, she would have no benadryl, and I'd have to send her back to find an RN (and she would have to wait and wait), and it would sometimes be 2 hours later that someone would finally come with the benadryl. My nose itched so bad at one point that my scratching made it bleed. I left the hospital with several scabs on my nose.

I have started writing a letter to that hospital SO many times over the last 2 years, but I always get too emotional half way through, and I stop writing it. The letter always sounds so inflammatory and it's not productive, and I know it would not get anywhere with them. I ended up never saying anything.

 

[laila 44]

Urgh I'm sorry Hun I had a similar experience with my first. It was an emcs and that specific hospital policy is to go into recovery after csection and baby goes to nursery. I hated it so much that for my second I switched hospitals and they allowed me to keep baby with me whole time in recovery which only makes sense! I'll be doing the same this time. But no one ever took baby away without my consent. That's weird!

 

[stephalie]

I'm sorry you had this experience. When I had my son three years ago I had a very similar experience. I required an EMCS and I was so exhausted after laboring for 20 hours I was falling asleep on the table, I felt so guilty I couldn't keep my eyes open for the birth of my child. They took my son for four hours immediately after birth. I was only able to kiss him before they whisked him away for tests. My husband followed the baby so I was alone too. I consider the experience very traumatic and I'm hopeful my repeat C at the end of April is different.

 

[m0mmyCool]

I had a bad experience with my 2nd. He was born perfect with no problems, but I only got to spend about 5 minutes with him before he had to leave to the nursery. I spent the entire time in recovery alone wishing I could be with them. It was awful. The worst part was they fed him formula immediately in the nursery despite me saying that I wanted to breastfeed. The Dr even wrote it in my notes! My OH tried to tell them this but they told him he needed to eat.
Needless to say I'm having this baby at a different hospital where I am told I could keep the baby with me after birth as long as he is in good health.

 

[WantsALittle1]

I cannot believe they gave your baby formula right after birth when you stated that you were breastfeeding! I would be livid!

I don't understand how hospitals are able to do these things, or why they do them. I think the only way I'm going to get answers is to meet directly with someone in the birthing center at the hospital, and not even bother trying to talk to my OB about this. If I find out that their policies are like the last hospital's, I will be delivering somewhere else, plain and simple.

 

[Eleonora]

Hi WantALittle1, I think the fact that you are still upset about how you were treated is very understandable. It took me one year to get my body back, but really two years before I could face the idea of going through the hospital experience again. I didn't have a C-section, but I had had a mild GD and so I guess the normal procedure is to whisk the baby away (they did let me hold him first but it was less than a minute) and no one ever really explained what the separation was all about. I was stitched up and given IV fluids in a recovery room for about an hour and all the time thinking, ok, I'm relieved to be resting comfortably after everything I have been through, but isn't there a newborn baby somewhere around here that I am supposed to be holding and bonding with and nursing? Nurses just kept saying, don't worry he's fine, without giving me any information or any sense of the schedule. When I was finally back up my room I was starting to get a little agitated because I had the sense the nurses were just keeping him because someone who hadn't shown up yet had to check a box on a form. I also had read way too much on the importance of the first bonding period and skin-to-skin contact etc. I was afraid they were giving him some kind of glucose drink or formula that was going to screw up my breastfeeding attempts. In retrospect, I think they were doing a series of blood glucose measurements to see if his sugar levels crashed after birth because of my GD (and apparently he was totally fine) but I still think initiating breastfeeding right away would be the best way of stabilizing his sugar levels. Is it more important to make the clinical diagnosis or to have a happy, healthy baby? Also, where I am, they keep us in the hospital for 3 days, so surely there is some other way of determining if he has a sugar problem over the course of 3 days than separating him from his mother in those first precious hours. Anyway, I finally did get him after about 2 hours and I never had problems breastfeeding and he never had jaundice or any other problem but it still really bothers me that he was taken away for so long. I wish I had never heard of this concept of maternal-baby bonding because (especially in the hormonal early weeks!) it really made me think that we had suffered something or been deprived of something intangible but critical. I also am determined not to let it happen again even if I have to struggle bleeding to my feet push my husband and the doctors aside and go find my baby somewhere.
You know what made me feel a lot better? Hearing about my best friend (a great mom - very confident and practical) who after the birth of her second baby knew she would only have the nurses' help for one night in the hospital said, here, take care of my baby for a while...I want to go take a shower and get something to eat!
One other thing....taking your baby while you are sleeping is borderline criminal - - I can't imagine that is official practice in a civilized place.
So in the end, for next time, let's both hope for the best and plan for the worst.

 

[hanni]

Absolutely not normal. I had an EMCS under a general anesthetist and baby was waiting next to me in his cot for me waking up.
That sounds absolutely appalling! What did you have to recover from?! You had a spinal, that's surely not enough reason to be in recovery that long!

 

[WantsALittle1]

Just a spinal, hanni, a totally routine spinal, no complications at all! That is what absolutely shocked me. When DD was born, I was in recovery until I could prove that I could move my legs, about 45 minutes or so? This time it was over three hours! It was insane!

 

[jtink28]

i'm appalled for you. just awful, awful. i had a scheduled c-section with my son for other health issues unrelated to pregnancy. i had a spinal, too, and it was all routine. as soon as my son came out, they wrapped him up super quick (like 1 minute!) and he was laying with me right away. my husband helped prop him up because i still felt a little woozy, but he never, ever left our side. never. he came with us everywhere, and actually never went to a nursery in our entire 3 day stay - i told them no way. that's absolutely horrific that happened to you. is there any way for you to switch hospitals and find out the policies there?

i'm so sorry that happened to you. it's 100% not normal, and must have been incredibly traumatic. i hope this time is so much better.

 

[SaraVO]

My c-section was a storm of everything going wrong. I labored for thirty hours before they started pitocin that put the baby into distress three different times my oxygen dropped to the low 90's and my blood pressure skyrocketed. I ended up in an emergency c-section where my epidural partially failed. I felt everything! Then I hemmoraged. The worst part is the four hours it took to put me together. I missed that time with my baby and in a way I've been trying to make up for it since. It bugs me that I missed his bath and shots and foot printing. That my friend held him before I did. I'm incredibly possessive of him now and I really hate to share part of me thinks it's the stress of his delivery.

 

[zorak]

Where in the world are you?

That experience is truly awful.

I will give you mine. My boys were both born in San Diego in a hospital that promotes natural birth. I had emergency c sections with both. With my second it was a really traumatic cat 1 c section where both he and I were in trouble. The nicu team were on standby in theatre. They did all their checks there where I could hear baby and my husband was able to go over and watch. Baby was then immediately handed to my husband to bring to me. Unfortunately I was in such hysterics I just couldn't cope with meeting my new born at that time so asked my husband to take him away. The staff were amazing, they directed my husband to recovery abd got him to do skin to skin with baby. I was in theatre for another hour or so and when i was taken through I was met by my husband happily cradling baby under his shirt. Baby was then handed to me to breastfeed. I still needed physical assistance so the post op nurse helped baby latch and brought rolled up towels to support him so I didn't have to.

We stayed for 5 days and baby never left my room without me. He did have to have one test elsewhere iv the hospital and I was pointedly asked if I'd like to accompany him. I did.

Honestly I'd complain if I was you.

 

[twickywabbit]

With my daughter I was scheduled for a c section 12 hours into my induction. She was 40 weeks and I lost half of my amniotic fluid. I was only dilated to 4 and my doctor completely neglected me and left me sitting there for another 11 hours until I finally dilated to 9 and my body decided it was time to push. She got stuck in the birth canal, my epidural wore off, then I had a really bad year from the vacuum thing and I hemmoraged. She was born not breathing and blue. Finally she started to cry after respiratory worked with her and they whisked her off while I was getting emergency stitched up. I barely got to see her, nevermind holding her. Then I was delirious from blood loss and also was given a cocktail of meds so I passed out for almost 8 hours. I woke up to her crying down the hall...went to see her as she had to be under watch in an oxygen tent for 24 hours. It was over a day and half before I got to actually hold her and I too wanted to breast feed...she had been bottle fed and had been given a pacifier(which I was against). I know my experience kind of different but I feel for you. I have decided on a scheduled c section this Halloween and I pray that it goes smoothly and wayyyy better than my last birth. I am convinced if my doctor had come in when he was supposed to (he was home painting his deck) and performed the c section...i wouldnt have went through half the awful things I endured and my daughter wouldn't be been in such an awful state.