whats ur 3.5yr old like ? cos mines terrible !!

[honey08]

posted in toddler part aswell x

im starting to think theres something wrong with his behaviour my son ,doesnt listern at all ,when were out and about he wonders off and ive a buggy with my baby in aswell so i usually end up leaving the buggy to go after him , he never answers me when i shout of him, hes always pushing the baby over (he crawls now and pulls himself up on the sofa) he never eats much proper anymre , ive got to the point if he doesnt eat his tea thts whats waiting for him after his bath !!
bed times are a nightmare hes sharing a room with the baby so we read in my room then i put him in his and he just lays shouting etc then ends up bk in my bed till hes asleep , he screams in my face, shouts ..... the list is endless


a few mth ago i did start thinking it was cos he werent getting the attention he needed/wanted so when my baby wud go for a nap i wud get craft things out / bake with him etc ,but nothing wrks , i feel like im always shouting , i feel overwhelmed how far he can push me anyones eles like this ?x

 

[heyyydayyy]

Hun I don't have kids so I don't know how much I can help...but I can tell you that I work in a child care facility, and there was one particular boy (age 5) who is a HANDFUL. He would not listen, he is aggressive towards his younger (24 mo old) brother, and he would drive the staff crazy. Every time his parents picked him up, we would have to tell them about the mishaps, and he averaged 5 time-outs per visit.

Finally one day I was talking to his mom and she nonchalantly said "Oh you know he has autism, right? He's high functioning, but he does have it"...I could not believe that this woman had neglected to tell the staff sooner. They had been coming in for months before we knew. It changed the way that we disciplined him because we now knew why he was acting out the way he was.

I'm not suggesting that your son has autism, but maybe you should take him to a doctor to be analyzed. If it does turn out to be autism (even high functioning...which is MUCH less obvious to someone who doesn't already know about it), diet can vastly affect behavior. Maybe look into it? Again, I'm not trying to diagnose...only a doctor can tell you what's really going on. Good luck!!

 

[smelly07]

I work with children also and have two daughters my youngest will be 3.5 next month and i have no problems with her- personally i think its an attention issue due to the baby - some children struggle with new siblings especially around the ages of 2 and 3 as they are still young and do not understand fully and still themselves need an awful lot of attention, i know a lot of children around this age go through these stages due to new siblings.

Maybe your son is just finding it hard and ANY attention even bad is better than nothing, i would be consistent, reassure him, praise positive behaviour and spend as much quality time with him as possible - i know its hard but hopefully its a phase that will pass by quickly x

 

[honey08]

i went2the docs 2day and she did just say it will be his age, hes not like it at school so musta be just an attention thing

 

[Ceejay123]

My little sister is now 4.5. A year ago she was an absolute nightmare, she wouldn't listen and was so cheeky it was unbelievable. She refused to say sorry and was so darn stubborn. She got to four and her behaviour did a complete turnaround, she's a lovely little girl now, albeit a little spoiled but who isn't x

 

[hel_5]

DD1 went through this shortly before and after DD2 came along, she was a perfect girl at play school but incredible hard work at home, I remember ringing my mum a couple a times in tears as I couldn't cope.

BUT we got through it, I tried to do something special with her each day and eventually she started getting better, but I'm sure it was just her age, my friends LO was similar as well xx

Oh a reward chart worked quite well xx

 

[MommyKC]

I agree - I noticed a HUGE change in my daughter between 3 and 4 years old.
She is turning 4 next week, but until approximately 6 months ago - she was a handful. She would rarely listen, was always have meltdowns, pushing her sister, etc.
I think it's just a phase some children (actually most from what I've heard ) go through. It's their way of testing their boundaries and learning how to communicate what they need/want.
I'm sure he'll grow out of it soon.

 

[RachA]

My now 5 year old has been like this.

I learnt that boundaries are a must and shouting really doesn't work. With my son we found that if we shouted he would just switch off. At 3.5 their understanding is usually pretty good and you can talk about things. So iro of the bed thing i would tell him that he was going to have to sleep in his own bed and we would stick to that - even if it meant a late night for the household!
I also learnt to pick my battles. Things like staying with me when out and about are important and therefore worth insisting on - we bought a wrist strap and he was told that if he wandered off he had to wear it and we followed through on this regardless of how much fuss he kicked up. We'd explain why he needed to stay with us etc so it wasn't just a blind 'you stay with me or else'. Things like tidying his room went out of the window for a while as i really didn't want the argument when i was dealing with other things.

It sound like he is trying to push the boundaries and maybe is succeeding. Getting him to make you shout at him seems to him that he's won so toning down on the shouting should help. I know how hard it is - my son still pushes me right to the edge and i have had to get my parents to take him away from me a few times because i've not wanted to shout at him etc.