When did it settle down for you? 2+ children.

[bbbbbbb811]

I have just had another baby, I had two children already and welcomed my third baby girl at the end of November. I used to be so on top of things, the house was always clean, and I took such pride in my house, the dinner was on the table at 5:30, the children were happy and everyday was easy, even at 40weeks pregnant! My children have their days don't get me wrong, my 21 month doesn't sleep through all the time, is hard to get to sleep and started real tantrums. My 5 year old is very active, is on the go ALL the time and likes saying no, but nothing that made me feel stressed. But since my newest LO turned 3 weeks old, I feel so dependant on my OH, when he is not around I'm so stressed, I never finish a job(I constantly start cleaning or sorting out but then it doesn't get finished), I'm not eating dinner til 10 at night, 1 child always seem upset about something and it's hard work! When my OH is here I don't feel stressed and I think it's because I know he is there to take some of the load, I don't even need him all the time he is here but knowing he is here just helps right now(I hate my OH helping so much, stupid I know but I just like to do things myself.) When did things fall back into place? My LO is 6 weeks in a couple of days and I was hoping to be more on top of things by now I'm not depressed, I had PND with my first and know the signs but I'm just SO stressed it's giving me headaches. Thank you for reading if you got this far, the post was longer then I intended!

 

[catty]

I felt pretty on top of things too before. I have a 3 & 2 year old and was very independant with them, would take them to the beach, carnivals, long days out alone and not worried about not being able to cope with them etc. Then my 3rd came along and i felt like i was so dependant on OH (She was 6 weeks yesterday) i know i can do it myself but i feel as if i am using my OH like a security blanket, i like hin there incase something happens.
Im still in that funk im afraid but iv started to notice im becoming more confident again by just getting out there.
Dont be too hard on yourself, i try and remember im looking after 3 tiny humans its not all going to be perfect even though id love it to be.
No advice but just want you to know your not alone

 

[lilmisscaviar]

I felt this way after my second was born, but now with three children it is much more stressful than before. I don't cook dinner nearly as much as I like. Most of my meals come out of the microwave or from a can. I clean at night once the kids are all in bed (thankfully my third baby is a decent sleeper) but don't end up getting to bed until around midnight some nights and then being up as early as 7 AM when my older two get up. It's not really getting easier as far as the load but I do have a routine now so that helps a bit. I just keep thinking ahead that one day baby #3 will be walking and more independent. It won't always be so rough and I try to enjoy it even in the hardest times. Really it is simply taking it day by day.

 

[bbbbbbb811]

Thank you for taking the time to reply. Glad to see I'm not alone, I also used to take them out a lot on my own but since having three the idea makes me scared. It makes me feel so useless not being able to cope with what I used too! And yeah I guess when they start becoming more independent with play/cut down on feeds etc that is when it will get easier but I hope I get into a routine a bit sooner cause I'm also running on a late schedule of dinner around 10, bed around midnight and then feeding in the night. I'm wiped out! But with it being the Christmas holidays my partner has been taking over some early mornings and letting me get an extra hour or two sleep til my newest LO gets up! But that also makes me feel bad because it always used to be me and the girls in the morning, and would let my partner have the extra sleep.

 

[jessiebella86]

Don't be so hard on yourself. Your baby is just 6 weeks old. They grow so quick, the cleaning can wait. Just sit back and enjoy your kids. Things will get easier. Your still healing from delivery. Just make big batches of easy meals when you get chance. Pasta, curries etc. Meals which will last a couple of days and let other people help you. I'm sure your doing an amazing job Xx

 

[xxxLeoxxx]

Don't be so hard on yourself, you're still in the very very early days.

I've got a 3 month old, a 2 year old and a 3 year old and my God have things been tough for the last few months. When people ask me how I am, my reply is always that I am surviving because that's all it is at the moment - survival!

Things will get easier. You will find a routine and having 3 kids will become your "normal".

No advice as such but you are most definitely not alone.

 

[donnarobinson]

I have 3 boys there almost 5,3 & 1 and it is tough! But it does get easier .. your baby is so tiny you will get into a routine and things will slot into place!
X

 

[xdxxtx]

I remember just being in tears when my baby was a newborn. It was so hard... My other kids were running around and tearing up the house, and my baby wanted to nurse and use me as a pacifier NON STOP! I yelled and cried and screamed and cried some more. It didn't help, of course. I eventually changed my attitude to pick my battles and to not get involved in the kids' tiffs anymore. I made a list of 5 things to do every day and DID them. I was so busy that I wasn't even showering more than twice a week, and I'd stink by the time I got in the shower because I was always running around and trying to get everything done.

I kept reading that it got easier at around 3 months postpartum, and I'd cry just thinking about it taking another 6 weeks to get there. By the way, they were right. When my LO was around 3 months old, though, everything was completely normal. My house was perfectly clean again, we had structured days and scheduled naps again, we enjoyed our time as a family again, and I truly enjoyed my LO. He is 10 months old now, and I had forgotten all about those difficult days until I revisited it just now... making me a little nervous to go through it all again! Haha.....

I'm sorry that it's not easier. I really wish I had some kind of solution. I do have some tips that got me through it, though.....

Don't expect to get everything done.

Take care of yourself FIRST. YOU are your first priority.

I like to set 10-minute timers and see what I can do during that time. If my baby starts to cry or scream, oh well, sorry. I'll get to you in 10 minutes or less. (I can get the whole downstairs of my house tidy in 10 minutes... later, I can get all surfaces wiped down and vacuum most of the downstairs in 10 minutes... a while after that, I can finish vacuuming and mop downstairs in 10 minutes... I can take another 10 minutes later to wipe down appliances and mirrors and spot clean walls... before bed, I take one last 10 minute segment to make sure the house looks perfectly tidy for when I wake up in the morning.)

Also, I cook everything from scratch... I bake my own bread, make almond milk and yogurt, pickles, everything! I fed a ton of processed foods during that time because I did not have the time or energy to cook everything from scratch all day long. Oh, well. My kids are fine, healthy, well-exercised. I watched ingredients and bought the better brands so they'd have the BEST processed junk I could afford. Hahaha!!!

 

[Left wonderin]

Congratulations on your new arrival. Please be kinder to yourself . You have ONLY just had a baby !!! I've bad news things won't go back to how they were before .. Because they are not the way there were before . Well that's what I found out after I went from 1-2 . I could have written your post then . I was so anxious that it would all go back to " normal . Until I realised after a few months that my normal would now be different than before and that would be ok .
My LO is now almost 10 months and when I look back I had way to high expectations of myself . It WILL be ok . Please please allow enjoy your baby for the next few weeks . Take it from me it goes way too fast and before you know it those precious new born days will belong gone . They are soso precious and fleeting . You don't get them back . So to hell with the house for the next few weeks . If at the end of a day you are ok , your all fed ( doesn't matter what ! ) and everyone knows they are loved that's Alll that matters

Let hubby spoil you for a few weeks !! Let him know how much it means to you and enjoy it

 

[bbbbbbb811]

Thank you all for your kind words. I remember it was tough to do the tidying and cooking when my second came along but I wasn't as 'together' as a person and on top of things before so it wasn't a big deal whereas now I was/am and I suppose I did have a big expectation of myself to keep it that way and it's just not been possible. I'm still getting things done in the intervals that I can and I'll just have to get over myself and accept my OHs help!

 

[Lollipopbop]

I feel you. I had twins so I've gone from 1 to 3 and it's so different this time. Looking back it was so easy before. Now it's so hard getting everyone in to one routine. My house is never as tidy as it used to be, theres piles of clean washing that never gets put away, i dont make as many home made dinners and i just dont feel as confident by myself anymore. Oh is a big help and i depend on him so much. Im hoping it gets easier

 

[ParisJeTadore]

I feel very much like this too. I felt very confidant with two but somehow three has become intensely challenging for me and I can only hope it gets easier once baby is a little older. Big hugs to you! You only have two hands and so much energy to take care of so much. I am a very tidy person yet taking care of three has meant making that my first priority and not being able to address that clean mountain of laundry sitting on the floor for over a week or an untidy bathroom. Try to lower any expectations you may have and simply survive for the time being until things get a little easier. Hang in there!

 

[Zephram]

You ladies have almost made me swear off having a third!! I find it hard enough with two, my house is never completely tidy and I'm always drowning in laundry and cleaning. I remember the first few months being the hardest, but I had PND really badly with my second, so I am already scared of having a third!

OP, give it time, you are doing great! The really hard phase will pass.

 

[xsadiex]

I have just had my 3rd - she's 3 weeks old and I'm feeling so overwhelmed. I don't know if I can actually do this.
Breastfeeding is so time consuming, how is everyone managing? I feel like formula feeding would free up my time a bit as she seems to be more settled after... but then I'd feel bad as my boys were breastfed for longer!

 

[donnarobinson]

I have just had my 3rd - she's 3 weeks old and I'm feeling so overwhelmed. I don't know if I can actually do this.
Breastfeeding is so time consuming, how is everyone managing? I feel like formula feeding would free up my time a bit as she seems to be more settled after... but then I'd feel bad as my boys were breastfed for longer!

Do what's right for you Hun
I'm sure breastfeeding will get easier and will settle down but I formula fed all mine x

 

[bbbbbbb811]

Thank you ladies, and sorry some of you are going through the same thing right now: hugs: I do feel like it is starting to settle now, I still prefer my OH to be here and don't look forward to going out on my own but I have done it, and although stressful at times, it's been ok. The carrier has helped a lot for things like bedtimes as I can guarantee that my youngest will be quiet while I settle my others to sleep, same with cleaning!
Lollipopbop - I couldn't imagine having twins! You're doing soooo well to be, I love twins but it must be hard work.

 

[bbbbbbb811]

I have just had my 3rd - she's 3 weeks old and I'm feeling so overwhelmed. I don't know if I can actually do this.
Breastfeeding is so time consuming, how is everyone managing? I feel like formula feeding would free up my time a bit as she seems to be more settled after... but then I'd feel bad as my boys were breastfed for longer!

I'm breastfeeding and it can me quite demanding but I actually find breastfeeding easier than bottle feeding. Washing the bottles, preparing them, waiting for them when baby is hungry and having to be prepared with formula when you go out whereas breast is available and ready. Whatever works for you and your family, there is no shame in formula feeding

 

[catty]

I have just had my 3rd - she's 3 weeks old and I'm feeling so overwhelmed. I don't know if I can actually do this.
Breastfeeding is so time consuming, how is everyone managing? I feel like formula feeding would free up my time a bit as she seems to be more settled after... but then I'd feel bad as my boys were breastfed for longer!

I'm breastfeeding and it can me quite demanding but I actually find breastfeeding easier than bottle feeding. Washing the bottles, preparing them, waiting for them when baby is hungry and having to be prepared with formula when you go out whereas breast is available and ready. Whatever works for you and your family, there is no shame in formula feeding

i agree once breastfeeding is properly established i find it actually easier. Dont have to get out of bed during the night just pop a boob out haha. I also find she is messier when taking a bottle so need a bib, sometimes a clothes change whereas when i feed her she never dribbles. Hope it settles down a bit for you soon and just go what is best for you and your family!