When did you nurse in public?

[jessicatunnel]

Without a cover for the first time?
I've always used a cover when I nurse in public but it's getting to be a pain in the butt, but I'm so shy, and nervous to nurse in public without it. Last week I was nursing my son in the car before going into the restaurant to eat with a friend, I didn't bother putting on my cover since I was in the car and the person parked next to me happened to come out while I was feeding and saw me and I just got so embarrassed and avoided all eye contact. I know it's not an embarrassing thing, but I'm just so shy.
Any tips on how to nurse in public without getting so embarrassed?

 

[Popples1]

Last weekend I took LO shopping and fed him in the cafe of a department store. He's just turned 7 weeks and it was our first proper solo trip (excluding people's houses, the doctors, nipping down the road to the shop and parents groups) out together. To be honest, since having a baby I find I'm a lot braver generally but I wasn't embarrassed at all. With breastfeeding, I'm not bothered about people seeing a cheeky bit of my nipple, but I am conscious of making them feel uncomfortable. Then I realise this is stupid - breastfeeding is natural and (as long as I'm being discrete) if they're uncomfortable, as far as I'm concerned they can go somewhere else! I tend to take a long floaty scarf with me which I drape round the back of my neck and have the dangling end sit over LO's head. That way, no one gets an eyeful when he's latching on/off (he often fusses a bit). That way, people often don't even notice you're feeding at all. The more you do it, the easier it will get. Perhaps go to some really child friendly place or some local parents groups and practice there until you're more comfortable?

 

[HBGirl]

No idea if I will ever manage without a cover. I did, however NIP for the first time today. Twice. I was well proud of myself.

 

[Rachel_C]

Have you watched yourself in a mirror while feeding? I did and you couldn't see anything - I did the one top up and one top down thing, which meant the only skin exposed was covered by LO's head/body. The only person who could see anything was me... or maybe if a helicopter flew over head and had binoculars, but if they went to that much trouble I think they deserve it

 

[wishuwerehere]

I second going to a breastfeeding group or mum and baby group and practising as people will be more chill there! You could also take someone with you the first couple of times so you've got someone to chat to whilst you are feeding as you will feel less self conscious that way.
I tend to wear a vest and then a loose top over it and lift the loose top up so it covers my cleavage and my vest covers my tum. Once baby is tucked in there you can't really see anything at all and much less faff than a cover

 

[MrsPear]

The only advice I can give is to just keep doing it. Honestly, once you've done it a few times it feels so much more 'normal'. The first time I went to Starbucks when Joni was about 4 weeks and I was so embarrassed and stressed I nearly cried! I sat with a newspaper studiously avoiding everyone's eyes. The next few times I felt the same, I really thought I would be a recluse just so I didn't have to do it. But you know what, it's not really possible to be a recluse (especially since you already have a bigger LO) so you're pretty much forced to get on with it, and after a few times, it feels way, way easier. I went out with a friend who lives in Cambodia and was visiting my city, and there it is just the total norm, so he told me not to be so daft and just get on with it! That made me feel loads better. Is there someone you can go with that you can sit with and talk to so you don't have to make eye contact with other people? It helped me a lot. x

 

[sun]

I agree with nursing in front of a mirror and seeing how little is actually visible while nursing. After nursing for almost 4.5 years, I think I've nursed everywhere. Most of the time when I'm BF, people don't even know I'm feeding him. So they occasionally come over to see the baby and literally have to be right on top of him to realize LOL The big tent covers are wayyyy more obvious IMO - a big sign saying - "Hey everyone, I'm nursing!!!" Also some babies don't like the covers and fuss way more.

Going out with other mums who are nursing will also help - as well as BF or other mum groups. Also I find that at coffee shops people don't really pay much attention. It will feel like all eyes are on you at first, but if you are calm and just get on with it probably most people won't even realize you're BF. Also with my last LO I learned how to nurse in a carrier so that's another option! I could have 2 hands to handle my older LO, and still be feeding my baby. That took some practice, but it's a very handy skill that I'm sure I'll use a ton this time around!

 

[Popples1]

I've been doing the vest/top thing too and it works a treat. I'm much more conscious of my jelly baby belly than my boobs to be honest. I've just been for lunch with my antenatal class friends and all of us were whipping boobs out to feed our babies constantly. No one batted an eyelid

 

[jessicatunnel]

Thanks girls, strangely I don't have a problem feeding in front of family, even male family members. It's a natural thing and they understand that so I don't know what my deal is doing it in public. I do the two top thing and I'm very discreet when doing it, you can't see a thing. I think my main issue is the latching on part. It makes me uncomfortable flashing people my nipple. LO is starting to get annoyed with the cover as well so I don't think it will be too much longer before I won't be able to use it so I need to suck it up!

 

[Bunnikins]

I never did with my first and havent yet this time. Im shy too, but this time i said i wouldnt care id just do it! Then there was an article in daily mail about a lady who fed in public and someone posted a pic of it on FB. It was also on the TV. People were "commenting" about it and I was surprised how many people said they felt uncomfortable seeing a lady BF in public. This has set me back shyness wise so im using a muslin cloth to cover myself at the moment. Stupid, I know!

 

[wishuwerehere]

If you feel like someone is looking at you, smile at them! Chances are they will smile back and you'll feel better, if they are being rude they'll probably just look away

 

[Bevziibubble]

I nursed in public for the first time when Holly was about a month old. I've never used a cover. I was so nervous at first and used to hate taking her out in case she wanted feeding. It's surprising just how discreet it is though. I used to wear two tops and pull the top one up and the bottom one down and this made it easier to nurse discreetly. It just looks like you're cuddling your baby and even my DH's uncle had a conversation with me once she didn't realise I was nursing!


Good luck, it gets easier!

 

[MrsElsie]

Hi
I Know what you mean - when I started I was so self conscious and thought everyone was looking at me. But I'm completely used to it now (my little girl is 6 months) and just get on with it - they have to eat, right? In fact just a few days ago I was breastfeeding outside in a park in London with a fantastic view of the Londond Eye - I dont think anyone even noticed!

I do find if little one is getting distracted (she has started pulling off and latching back on multiple times during a feed as there is something interesting to look at) then I sometimes tuck the corner of a muslin under my bra strap as a makeshift cover - although I think this probably generates more attention that not as it is so bright and obvious!

You're doing brilliantly and it is a normal, natural thing - I hope it gets easier for you as time goes by x

 

[annio84]

I stopped using a cover once I could latch her on quickly, can't remember how old she was. Lots of good advice given already but I would really recommend doing the two top trick, and if you make sure the outer top is quite loose I find you can let it drape and latch baby on with no flashing!

You said you're comfortable feeding in front of family members? Maybe try meeting up with a relative, for a coffee perhaps, and try feeding LO while you're out with them, might help you not to focus on other people around. I also think it's great advice to go to a breastfeeding group. Everyone will have their boobs out so no need to be embarrassed and they may be able to share some tips for latching LO quickly and discreetly.

The only other thing to add is even though it can feel like it, chances are there's no one watching you. You'd be amazed how many people won't even notice you're feeding. I've had people peering over to look at DD not realising what I was doing.

 

[Feronia]

It takes time to get used to, but I nursed in public at about 2 weeks. I felt a bit awkward until after a few months, and now I'll whip it out anywhere without a second thought. Though I'm in Vancouver and nursing isn't a big deal here. Most people breastfeed here for at least time time. I have never used a cover and a nursing room, and ultimately, while I support every woman's right to nurse where she feels most comfortable, I especially applaud the women who nurse without a cover because it really helps to normalize breastfeeding.

Oh, and I usually nurse in a carrier when I'm out and I've find that most people don't even know I'm doing it.

 

[angelandbump]

I only used a blanket when NIP once and it caused more fuss and brought more attention to me so I didn't use one again.
I personally find if you act natural people don't generally pay attention and if someone looks over towards me, I look at them and smile. At first I would feed only in the corner of a room but after going to bf groups, I managed to find discreet ways to feed LO where both him and I are comfortable yet no one sees anything xx

 

[special_kala]

I think it must have been when W was a few days old (R was FF from very early on), we went to the park I think when she was 3/4 days old.

People would only be able to see any nipple if they stared which is incredible rude on their part.

I think covers draw alot more attention to what you are doing;

 

[luna_19]

I used a cover in the beginning as we had a hard time with latch and it would take several tries to get him on properly. We travelled to mexico at 3 months and I stopped using the cover because it was too hot! Though my hubby didn't like it. I stopped using it altogether around 4 months as Devyn decoded he would rather look around while he is eating, hubby just has to deal with it! He does pop on and off a lot lately so I just keep my free hand nearby to cover up while I get him back on. Honestly no one even pays attention it just looks like you are holding your baby! I also like feeding in the carrier no one can tell at all

 

[dairymomma]

One thing alot of the bfing ladies in my area do is wear a nursing cami underneath so you pull up your shirt (or open it if it's a button up front) and your tummy is still covered. They then use their shirt as a pretty good coverup. Nothing is really exposed except the little bit of nipple and even that's covered up as soon as baby latches on.

 

[patch2006uk]

I always found and find that people are more bothered by a screaming hungry baby than by a tiny flash of nipple! I can't remember exactly when my first feed in public was with DS1, but I know I fed him at 3 weeks old, on a bus and under a cover. I only used the cover once more after that before deciding it was more hassle than it was worth and just wearing more appropriate clothes. I fed him in public on a regular basis until about 15 months or so (again, can't remember exactly).

DS2 has been fed in public from about day 5. I can carry him cradled in one arm and latched on, so I've already fed him drifting around stores, at the park, in restaurants and on buses and trains. Haven't bothered even finding the cover out again this time. I wear these tops https://www.hm.com/gb/product/16584...sing-_-16584&gclid=COX09M3a8b0CFQUFwwodYlQAMw (not sure if you can get similar in the US, but they really are a fab design and allow you to keep pretty much completely covered while feeding) and any old button down shirt over the top, so I can feed and really show nothing at all. I've never had any negative comments while BFing. I've had a few people this time come to coo over DS2 and not notice he was feeding at all until they were right over him

It's scarier in your imagination than in reality. People are busy and don't generally pay much attention to the world around them. You'll be fine