So I finally got over the idea of my FOB being a father when LO was around 10 months old. It took me being humiliated and emotionally tortured while I was pregnant, moving 1800 miles away from him for my family's help. Moving near him, moving back home and moving back near him for me to finally realize that he wasn't going to be a dad, didn't care about his daughter and that she was better off without him around. A lady I work with said something very simple to me that also turned out to be very prolific to me: "Sometimes we think things are supposed to be a certain way and then you realize that it doesn't HAVE to be that way...we all get there on our own time..some takes longer then others." It took me A LOT and I'm glad I finally see it...but I think of everything I wasted and how much harder I made things for myself. I had red flags waving furiously in my face the whole time. I know my story is on the worst end of the bad Dad scale, but I'm curious about when you other ladies realized and what it took for you to finally give up on the idea of FOB being around.