when did you start trying to get your lo to self settle

[Rach27]

I consciously avoid this as I firmly believe that if he's unsettled, it's because he needs something - food, comfort, whatever.

When he sleeps now, it is possible to move him or even wake him briefly so I don't think it will materialise into a 'problem' when he's older.

 

[Miss_Bump]

We will do it when Evie is ready.

We have done things slowly and at her pace like moving from falling asleep on the breast to using her thumb etc.

Only recently put her in her own room and she sleeps really well.

If she wakes when I put her in her cot I shh and gently rub or put her tummy

I'm in no rush for her to SS and I love our bonding when she falls asleep on me
xx

 

[GlasgowAngel]

We're lucky in that Lewis has been doing this since day 1. He does have the odd day where he is over tired and just needs you to cuddle him for a while first.

One thing I think has helped though is that we don't rock him and always stop family etc from doing it either (which is hard as it is natural for most people to rock as soon as they have a baby in their arms)

 

[naganta]

Oliver has always been pretty good. Only ever had an issue getting him to sleep if he was overtired, over stimulated, constpitaed, teething, etc... things that would stop any baby really.

He slept through the night for about a week at around 3 months, then hit the 4 month spurt and got up around mindnight and 3 am...then it dwindled to just 3 or 4 am...and now, at 5 and a half months and teething, he gets up between twice and 6 or 7 times a night. but he also only poops 3 or 4 times a month...so gas is a big thing. i cant bear to hear him cry it out...so when he calls for me, i go to him.

but he always eats when he wakes through the night too

 

[LankyDoodle]

Haven't done it. Won't be doing it. She will start self-settling when she doesn't need my comfort anymore. Rod for back is nonsense!!! And if it becomes a habit it is easily remedied when the child is old enough to understand why! I never understand this rush to get babies to self-settle and I never understand this ingrained sense of guilt/worry mums have that they are doing something wrong by giving their child what they need from us at this time. Babies cannot manipulate - they don't even know what it means! Babies have one goal and that is survival - that means they crave our nurture as much as food etc.

The hush pat method is a variation of CC. If you really have to do it then this is, I guess, preferable to CIO methods.

Good luck (but follow YOUR instincts and ignore 'you're making a rod for your own back' - in all my time working with children as a nanny, I never came across a child who still wanted breastfed to sleep at 6!!!). I am not saying people shouldn't do it if they wish to but from your OP I gleaned you were doing it because you felt you had to!

 

[Lu28]

The hush pat method is a variation of CC. If you really have to do it then this is, I guess, preferable to CIO methods.

How is the shush/pat method a variation of CC? My understanding was that you don't leave LO to cry but continue shushing and patting until long after they have relaxed - if they start crying you start shushing and patting again so the aim is not to leave them crying at all...

When Aisling was about 3 months old, we decided to try to get her to nap in her cotinstead of on us - with an hour's nap and 45-60 min bfing sessions, my bum had been welded to the sofa for 3 months! We tended to shush and pat her until she was asleep and then sneak out of her room - not self-settling but gave me more freedom than her sleeping on me. I wish I'd discovered a decent sling at that stage though as I don't think I would have bothered if I could have moved around.

 

[pinktaffy]

i cant really remeber i think it was around 4 weeks, but she was always good at just falling asleep anywere.
i didnt do cc or cio either. we did dummy pat and whisper. a musical lightshow or somthing helps to we couldnt live without ours, i got it as a pressent when she was born so we used it from day 1 and now she wont sleep without it at night she goes straight 2 sleep soon as its on.

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

I didn't attempt any self soothing until Aidan was 6months old. Young babies need the warmth and comfort IMO. At 3 weeks old I was still rocling Aidan to sleep and singing his lullaby. I did this until he was 6 months and then got him to self settle. He is now a brilliant sleeper. Rocking a young baby to sleep isn't making a rod for your own back.
Xx

 

[Dragonfly]

I think my child is to young to know how to self settle there for I didnt do it , now he is 19 months old and takes himself to bed, I let him have his cuddles and he build up his confidence and does things himself now.

 

[Melody74]

We had to rock Darcy to sleep for about the first 8 weeks. I asked the same Q myself - everyone has different opinions but I would prefer she doesn't develop any sleep crutches. Being an insomniac, I really believe it's a gift for those that can get themselves to sleep and stay asleep / resettle easily - something that can stay with you for life. However cold turkey methods are not for us either.

The cue for when we decided to put her down awake was after we started the Baby Whisperer EASY routine (activity after a bottle) and noticed she was falling asleep on her playmat. Before this I could spend at least an hour rocking to get her to sleep after a bottle. The best thing we did was not try to send her to sleep straight after, but play with her instead. (Much easier then they are a little older though hun).

She'd had a bottle and she had a good 30 mins play afterwards - one day she just nodded off on her playmat. So I took her to her cot which woke her initially and then she just went back to sleep. If she had cried I would have gone to her straight away. In fact I think I stayed in the room the first few times until she was asleep anyway. But she didn't cry - she had been fed, played with and was tired basically.

After that I noticed she started to get sleepy almost 2 hours exactly from the last time she woke. So I started to put her down at that time, whether she showed signs or not.
She has self settled ever since. Sometimes it takes her 10 mins to doze off but she is quite content. I've not had one episode of crying, yet..... She has sometimes woke after 45 minutes and grizzled a little, but if she needs more sleep then shush pat works really well and for us usually takes less than a minute.

We now have 3-4 hour cycles through the day - Feed for an hour, play for an hour, sleep for 1-2 hours.

It wouldn't have worked with ours before 8 weeks as she had awful wind problems and would constantly wake - but once they disappeared she started to sleep so much better and has self settled without really much encouragement. Maybe still shattered from all the wind problems!

3 weeks may be too early hun, but once you get into a feeding routine I'd suggest trying to keep LO awake for some time afterwards and watch for signs of sleepiness. Then try putting him down and seeing what happens, but stay nearby...xx

 

[Vici]

We did from day 1 - well actually day 2 when Imogen was admitted to special care! We weren't able to be with her 24 hours a day and often when she was crying we weren't able to pick her up! She is now just one and i can count on 1 hand the amount of times she has cried when she has been put in her cot for bedtime x

 

[pinklightbulb]

I started gradually teaching from 6 weeks, and now he has self-settled properly from 4 months