When do I get to enjoy my baby? =/

[dolly5x3]

My son will be 5 months old in one more week & I feel like I haven't been able to enjoy him at all since he's been born. I constantly find myself wishing that he was older and able to walk and talk already. I know he's only going to be this little for so long and I would like to cherish the moments while he's a baby but it's so hard. He was very colicky when he was smaller & he also has acid reflux. He would cry and scream majority of the day and nothing would calm him and there were times I literally just sat there and cried with him from being so stressed. He got a little better once he grew out of the colicky stage but was still pretty cranky a good amount of the day. About a month ago he started teething and last week he cut his first tooth. He's been so miserable again and literally nothing I do makes him happy. I give him Tylenol once in a while for the pain but it doesn't seem to help make him any more calm. He doesn't even just cry he growls and screams almost all day except for when he's sleeping. I make sure he's changed, I feed him, try to play with him, put him in his jumperoo, walk around the house with him, and let him chew on his teether. For a couple minutes some of these keep him quiet and then it's like he gets bored and starts screaming again. I just don't know what to do anymore. =/ I love him to pieces but he drives me crazy sometimes. And it makes me feel so bad to say that because he's my son. I see old friends on facebook having babies and they talk about their baby is so happy and I feel so resentful and jealous because I don't get to enjoy my baby like they do. For the first couple months I couldn't leave the house because he would scream even when we were in public. He likes going out sometimes now because he likes to see all the people but eventually he starts throwing one of his baby tantrums and we have to go home. I just wish there was something I could do to make him happier. He goes to bed cranky and wakes up screaming and when I pick him up he almost always starts crying even more. I just don't know what I'm doing wrong. =( He's my first child and I feel like I haven't been able to do anything right. I use to want 3 kids but now that I have him I think about just getting my tubes tied because I'm afraid if I have another child they will be the same way and I don't think I can go through all this again.

 

[MajorBee]

Oh honey sorry it's all been so difficult with your son. Get some support if you can, a break can help.

 

[noon_child]

I loved my LO but I found being in the house with a baby BORING, REPETATIVE and CONFIDENCE CRUSHING (and oh my God I was so hungry as she never let me turn my back to make a proper meal). Once she could sit up to play it got better as there were more opportunities for her to entertain herself and I could put her in a high chair where she could see what I was doing when I was cooking etc.

I can't say I really enjoyed her till she was 7months or so and it got better and better from there. My favourite age has been around 18months.

Babies are cute but that doesn't really make up for the downsides in my opinion: you are not a bad mother because you don't find screaming, grumping, sicking, drooling, etc. adorable - imo it makes you normal.

 

[Fallacy]

I'm still waiting. He's pretty much the same as yours, but I try and find moments to love and appreciate. I still can't put him down and he still cries/screams for most of the day though.

 

[sezzolou]

Ditto! My lo is 9 months next week. There are good fun days but not as many as id like with the reflux, poor sleep and fussiness. I'm looking forward to him walking and babbling though and not worrying about naps lol. Back to work 3 days a week at the end of the month....I can't wait 😊

 

[Melisa1985]

Awww hun I totally get you....My 10 months with my baby girl has been the toughest and hardest months of my life. She has been colicy and had a little bit of acid reflux as well & she screamed and cried all day long till about 5-6 months. Didn't enjoy her at all during those months, I just couldn't wait till she was bigger and I got tons of help from others, as much help as I could because listening to a baby cry all day long can make you go insane if you are alone. ahhh! Could it be that your son is still a bit colic??? that is def. possible, there has been cases where kids can be colic up to a year. My baby was up to 5-6 months and even at 7 months she has her tantrums of colic.
To this day she is still a very difficult baby, it goes a lot easier since now she can play by hersellf and enjoys playing, so it does get a bit easier & i def. enjoy her more now than before, but she is still a very difficult baby. Although now she smiles and laughs a lot and it's easier to calm her down, but really hard with her because she is so active and throws tantrums.
Best thing to do is get HELPPPPP from anyone!!! I do that all the time.


But I do feel exactly like you, i wanted 3 kids and since I had her I just don't want anyone. I feel like people tell me how fast the 1st yr flies and just to enjoy the "precious" moments with her, and i just can't believe how SLOWWW the first yr goes by and how much I didn't enjoy her at all until she was about 6-7 months and getting out of the colic stage. It's hard to enjoy a baby when majority of the time all it does is cry and scream and all you are trying to do is calm it down, so don't feel bad that you feel like that, there is many of us out there that feel exactly the way you do. We love our babies dearly, but no one can understand the situation unless they have been there.

Hugs to you!!

 

[Cccbb61013]

I'm sure you've went over all of this, but thought I'd ask if you have looked at what you are feeding him? One of my cousin's babies was breast fed & was pretty fussy. When she cut out spicy foods from her diet, he got better. Another cousin's baby cried & cried & cried his first year of life. Turns out he was allergic to his formula. My 5 month old was very fussy up until a month ago when I started him on solids. At first I was unsure of my decision to start him at 4 months but now I'm so glad he did. He is tongue tied so he had a hard time latching, the milk would spill down his face, he'd fool around with the bottle, etc. Once I started him on solids, he became a new baby. He even started taking his bottle better! My older son had reflux too. Luckily he was a very easy going baby, but I could always tell when he was having his reflux because he would become very fussy & spit up. And I still feel bad because I think a lot of it was brought on by me over feeding him!

So anyway, if it's nothing to do with his food, the only thing I could suggest is keeping him occupied. My baby gets bored easily & is nosey. So when I take him places & carry him so he can look around & be nosey, he loves it. Hang in there. It WILL get better!

 

[dolly5x3]

He's on Gerber good start soothe formula. I've had to change his formula lots of times and this one worked best because he either constipated or had diarrhea from the other ones I tried. I try to keep him occupied by playing with him, giving him toys or his teethers to play with, talking to him, letting him watch cartoons ( which he usually use to like ) & he'll be happy for a couple minutes then it seems like he gets bored and starts throwing a tantrum screaming and crying. =/

 

[dolly5x3]

And I'm sorry you ladies are going through it as well but it makes me feel a little better to see that I'm not alone and the only one that feels this way

 

[NoodleSnack]

For a lot of people, the few months, or even 1 year, can be really though, but eventually it will work out.

Babies are overrated anyway, toddlers are the real deal. Like you, I was just waiting for the time to pass quickly, and I don't regret it, I don't forget how horrible those months are, I don't look back with nostalgia, I'm just glad we're passed that stage and it's a lot more fun now. We can now play together, cook together and we just spent 10min playing chase mommy's feet. It's not that there aren't difficult days anymore, but there are more fun moments now and they are exactly as I imagined before I gave birth. Don't let this weight you down, you're not a bad mum or person, what you're going through is pretty normal, I'm telling you, there's light at the end of the tunnel.

 

[Ashla]

Dolly5x3, it is like you just described my eldest DS. He is almost 2 now but the first year of his life was the hardest year of my life.
I understand how you feel and how hard it is to watch other people take their babies out while you are practically housebound. My DS1 didn't even like being hugged until he was about 14 months old! He practically lived in a baby carrier because he needed to be held constantly and even then he cried most of the day (and night).

It gets better. DS1 is still difficult compared to other toddlers we meet but things are SO much better. And now that he his getting older I can see how the persistence and 'passion' he had as a baby are going to be fantastic characteristics in an older child.

And I am writing this with DS2 sleeping beside me. DS2 only cries when he is hungry or having his nappy changed! So please believe me, it will get better

 

[liz1985]

Sorry your going through such a hard time. Dont have much advice but it will pass. Everything gets better. I have a toddler and find the hard things with the baby easier because I know from the toddler. It will pass. Also try not to feel envious of everyone having such an 'enjoyable' time with their babies. I saw a quote the other day that I love "dont compare your behind the scenes with someone elses highlight reel." Facebook and the similar are great but remember people pick and choose what they want you to see, you don't know whats happening behind closed doors. My best friend only just told me yesterday that her 16month still doesnt sttn because she felt she was the only one. Sorry for the rambling post but hope you get my point lol.

 

[Sinead82]

My lo smiles from the moment she wakes until she goes to bed, and you know what? I still can't wait for her to be older so we can have fun together, play and communicate properly!! As much as I love her I have found this baby stage pretty boring, it has not come naturally to me. I can only imagine how you feel and I really feel for you. Like all the pp have said it will get better and remember no 2 children are the same, you could have a child with a totally different temperament next time. I'm actually afraid to have another as my lo has been relatively ok, but I have seen friends go through what you are and am afraid that's how my next one will be lol!

Also it drives me nuts when people say 'enjoy the cuddles etc now, they aren't this small for long' and all that other stuff. Eh it has been long enough actually, when can we play in the park, finger paint and talk to each other?? Lol that's just me, maybe when the terrible twos kick in I'll be nostalgic for this time 😄

One more thing - I did find it much better when lo could sit on her own, at least then I could set her on the mat to play and didn't feel as if I had to constantly entertain her x

 

[Louise88]

In all honesty I didn't feel I enjoyed my dd until she was 1 year old, and can't help but feel excited for my son to be 1 year old. I hate the baby stage but I think its because I find babies super clingy and I'm someone who likes a little bit of space every now and again!

 

[knk2011]

I found things much easier after 6 months, we could start trying new foods and exploring things together. Now the weather is nice I get to take him to the park on the swings and now at almost 8 months he's sitting up by himself and almost crawling, so we have much more play time together, as oppose to feeling like I have to do everything for him, i.e. holding him up when he sits etc.

The enjoyment time will come.

 

[irish_cob]

Has your baby had any treatment for his reflux? My dd2 has been on ranitidine since she was 16 days old and it's made a huge difference, she doesn't scream at all now, only cries when she is hungry and is generally happy and smiley and she sttn.

Dd1 was a total nightmare like your son, she would never be put down, screamed a lot of the time, wouldn't sit in a high chair or anything so I could cook, she'd scream and wail in her pram, she was just a nightmare and at 2.5 years she's still a whingy one, not easily entertained, still cries a lot, still doesn't always sttn, she's sooo hard!

But I don't think dd2 will be like that - she seems to have a much more placid nature, I think she'll be calmer and happier. So take heart - if you have another they may be totally different from your son xx

 

[Damita]

Omg I found the baby stage so boring etc, I didn't really start enjoying lil till she was 9 months and she's great fun now plays with you & on her own, loves groups, sttn, etc it gets better lil was a miserable baby with colic too