When do people stop asking?

[socitycourty]

My LO took the bottle rather easily, I think she may have hated my boobs

Have you tried having someone else give it to him? The first time I had to do a bottle I was still full of milk and my LO wouldn't take it from me, but she took it from my mom. Once she did that I knew I could start weaning her to do the hypoallergenic stuff without worrying that she would starve.

He will get there eventually. in the meantime try to stay calm so that he doesn't pick up on you being upset. I know my LO does whenever i'm stressed about anything and it makes her even harder to work with

 

[pinklightbulb]

I've tried 3 different bottles, 2 different formulas, expressed BM, having other people give it to him, juice instead of milk to get him to accept a bottle at all, even water.... nada. He just screams and turns his head and lets it dribble out of his mouth. Won't even take a syringe with anything in it. I'm so upset because he hasn't gained in 3 months and if I don't get something other than BM that has enough calories (formula) into him, who knows what could happen next

 

[socitycourty]

oh jeez. yeah that is a little scary, does he eat solids well? You could try mixing formula with cereal to get some in to him that way, I haven't heard of a baby refusing so many different ways though. Could you spoon feed him milk? I guess it would be messy but maybe he would like it.

Kids can be so confusing.

 

[socitycourty]

also on another forum I was on I read about some ladies adding flavors to the hypoallergenic formula (it has an awful taste) in order to get their LO to drink it. Maybe you could try something like that as he's older?

 

[pinklightbulb]

Definitely thinking about taking a path like that

My first boy refused bottles for a while but nothing like this.

 

[Kage76]

pinklightbulb maybe solids will be the answer, maybe he will get the hang of the bottle and the different tastes of formula once he starts to experiment with food.

 

[MiniKiwi]

I still get asked all the time, I got asked today! And my mum asks practically every minute..why? She was a extended BFer no formula type but it annoys me that she thinks it's her business. And then when I say I combi feed, people look puzzled and ask why. Combi feeding musn't be that common or something? I get a shock every time and don't know what to say. I wish I could just say, 'cause that's what I chose!' But I feel cornered and awkward

 

[bubbles123]

With my first I was asked quite a lot. As people know I FF after 1 month people just assume my daughter is FF too. The only people who ask now are HV's etc. You will find as your LO gets older less and less people will ask and they will just assume you are FF or baby is on cows milk.

 

[sandilion]

Yeah that's very true, i have been asked a lot less and been getting less 'looks' now that LO is getting older. It helps that he is a big boy too.

I will agree though that its bizarre how people think they have the right to ask. I am proud to say i have never ever asked a mother how they feed their LO. I wont deny that i am curious, but not for judgmental reasons.... just because its always such a hot topic and i find myself falling into the trap of wondering. But i know better than to ask because at the end of the day it's none of my business.

I even once when LO was only about 5 months old (adjusted age 3 months) a lady that was delivering newspapers said hello to me when i was at my letter box with LO collecting my mail, letting LO have some fresh air... she told me how cute he is, i thanked her and she then walked over to me and straight out asked me if i am BF him! I was so taken back that a complete stranger has come over to ask me.... I was BF him then so when i told her I am she goes "Oh good that's the best thing for him"

Even though i was BF i was still pissed off with that, because what happens if i wasn't?! Was she then going to lecture me???

Another time when i was at the shops with LO another woman, complete stranger again, walked over to me and asked me if i am BF, I told her I am and then she went on to tell me that in that case i better not have any coffee, or chocolate, load up on fish oil tablets, and don't ever eat anything junky as whatever I eat LO eats. She was really dominating about it too... then boasted how she BF her 2 children for a year and that i should do the same.

After that incident I decided i for now on wasn't going to be so nice to people like that. It really frazzled me!!!

To hell with them now! I certainly have found my inner bitch since then and it is very handy at times like that hahaha!

 

[Celesse]

I think people like to ask to make sure you are doing exactly the same thing they did.

 

[MiniKiwi]

I got asked twice today and one even asked, when she heard of LO's new teeth, "Oh does she nibble your nipples now?! That was awful oouch!" I was just like WTF get out of here! she even asked me that infront of my brother. Smh

 

[OmarsMum]

I think it's part of socializing those days every time I meet a 1st time mum the 1st question she asks is about feeding. Then it moves to weaning, potty training, co-sleeping, etc.

 

[dizz]

I never ask people - it's none of my business, and actually bog-all interest to me really.

Some you meet it's like they're ticking you off on a mummy points list checklist - do you co-sleep, do you breastfeed, do you do BLW... add the scores up and rank you as worthy or not of their time.

 

[newmumgg]

I get asked this a lot and it really does upset me, as it brings up lots of feelings I have about my failure to breastfeed which I would really rather not think about! Yesterday someone asked me "are you feeding her yourself?" - I knew she meant am I breastfeeding, I simply said I am formula feeding, but I wanted to say (not sure why I didn't!) "yes, I am feeding her myself...with a bottle!!!".

 

[fides]

My guess is about a year old when the majority of society decides LO's should be on cows milk and turns on those who continue to BF.

^this. i haven't had any questions since he turned a year old, but did up until then.

 

[Loompylooloo]

Hi ladies!
I am due number 4 in 31 days and am so scared that this will be a problem for me. I bf my other 3, had no problems doing it and loved it but this time I can't as I have had a double mastectomy and recon due to my high risk of breast cancer. I don't regret my decision at all but I know I am going to get all the feeding questions and I am either going to burst into tears or feel so enraged when i try to say i cant and someone replies that everyone can that I will expose my nipple free boobs!
Not sure ow to deal with it all and just wondered what advice you had. I feel guilty I suppose but know that potentially without my surgery I might not even be here.
Anyway, just wanted some help please!
Thanks in advance!
Xxxxx

 

[loves_cookies]

Hi ladies!
I am due number 4 in 31 days and am so scared that this will be a problem for me. I bf my other 3, had no problems doing it and loved it but this time I can't as I have had a double mastectomy and recon due to my high risk of breast cancer. I don't regret my decision at all but I know I am going to get all the feeding questions and I am either going to burst into tears or feel so enraged when i try to say i cant and someone replies that everyone can that I will expose my nipple free boobs!
Not sure ow to deal with it all and just wondered what advice you had. I feel guilty I suppose but know that potentially without my surgery I might not even be here.
Anyway, just wanted some help please!
Thanks in advance!
Xxxxx

I have no experience of your situation, so I will try my best to offer help with that I think I would do rather than read and run. I hope I help and don't make you feel any worse.

I think guilt unfortunately goes with the territory, I hope for you that it subsides for you when LO arrives and you get into the swing of FF. We are BF/FF for such a tiny chunk of our lives and I'm sure that if your LO (and your other children come to that) could choose they would pick having a Mum over being BF.

As for the questions, my DH keeps drumming it into me that the only people who matter already know the reason you're FF, and he's right. I think you will find your own way of dealing with the questions when it happens and you will probably be more at peace with it once LO has arrived.

I either:

Just say No when I'm asked if I BF and I don't elaborate unless I'm pushed. If I am asked why, sometimes I explain, sometimes I tell them where to go, it depends on my mood. I don't think you will have to expose your nipples to make the person asking squirm, your words can have the same impact. I think I would be tempted to just say you've had a double mastectomy but not explain why because a) it's none of their business, and b) they will probably assume you are a cancer survivor and will probably feel really guilty for asking, and you never know it may be enough to stop them asking someone else.

Or when I really don't want to deal with people I either just tell them I do BF (how is a stranger ever going to know anyway) or if they see me feeding LO I just say it's expressed, that normally shuts them right up.

 

[overcomer79]

I hate people that assume I'm breastfeeding. "Look at the weight gain...you sure do love your mommy's milk"...very frustrating and tbh it is no ones business how I feed MY baby.

 

[bubbles123]

Lady at sure start centre once asked me 'do you feed her yourself?' I was having a bad day and said 'no I get the bloke up the road to do it.' Shut her up! I would recommend it if anyone ever asks!

 

[socitycourty]

Lady at sure start centre once asked me 'do you feed her yourself?' I was having a bad day and said 'no I get the bloke up the road to do it.' Shut her up! I would recommend it if anyone ever asks!