When do you know you're ready for #2?

[Starlight32]

I always wanted one child but now that she's here, my husband thinks we should give her a sibling. I'm unsure.

I don't think I can do the newborn phase again. Our baby is 6 months and I still feel overwhelmed at times. She's been a great sleeper and has slept through the night since 8 weeks (with exceptions and she's fussing wheb teething). I can't imagine how I'd manager with a baby she sleeps poorly for months and months.

And of course the space and money concerns 🙁 . How do you know if/when #2 should come?

 

[Reiko_ctu]

I would wait until she's at least a year before deciding. I think you'll find it'd be a great gift to give her a sibling . It is tough but you can make it through... we all do right? You'll adjust and it may be a rough few months but that's life! And then you've got 2 who will befriends for life (hopefully lol).

 

[justmeinlove]

I'm only seriously considering it now and I am dreading the newborn phase as I had pnd and a non sleeping baby with reflux :-/

So I think it's still Very early to think about it.

 

[babyjan]

Wow I did not want a baby when my first was 6 months. I think I felt ready when he was approaching two but it didn't work for me straight away. It took a while and two losses to get my baby who arrived when my first was 4.

I would love a 3rd and to have a smaller age gap x

 

[MindUtopia]

I think you'll know when you know. But I think for most people, 6 months would feel too soon. Even if you know rationally you might want another (and you still aren't sure if you do), most wouldn't actually feel ready to balance it all with a baby that's only 6 months. I think leave it open to discuss again but give yourself some time.

Our daughter will be 4 in February and we have only just felt ready again in the past 6 months (so from about when she was 3.5). We've always known we would want to have a second, but for us, it just wasn't possible while our daughter was so little as I have been really busy with my career and not really at a place when I could take time off until recently, and we also wanted to make sure that our first was in school before we added a second. It wouldn't have been possible to continue to afford nursery while I was on maternity leave (and I didn't want to pull her out since she loves it there and has been going for 3 years now). We also couldn't have afforded 2 in nursery after my maternity leave. So a big age gap was just practical for us. But we also really wanted to enjoy our first before we decided to add a second. We've been able to do that and I felt like I was able to really fully devote myself to her. Now she's older and a bit more independent and there is space and time to expand our family, but I definitely wouldn't have felt that way before this year.

I think give it time. There's no rush. You can always re-visit it again next year and see how you feel. You'll probably find your feelings become a lot more clear as your LO grows up, and then you'll know for sure what's the right choice for you.

 

[KylasBaby]

For me I look at my daughter and realize how old she looks and it makes me want to have another. I'm only 28, but Oh is 35 so we want to be done having kids relatively and we want 3, ideally. I'm just really seeing how old dd is now and looking at her baby pictures makes me really want another. I wanted at least a 2 year age gap though so we will start trying next month. She's also more independent now. As in if I need to hang my head in the toilet for a bit if I have another miserable pregnancy, she will be okay by herself. I know I want more than one. I keep thinking to when we're gone and if she's the only one she will be carrying the burden of dealing with funerals and sorting out the house and belongings and family all on her own. I want her to have siblings to help with that. That's not the only reason of course, but it's something I think about.

 

[LoveCakes]

I don't think I was ready though I don't regret it for a second.

We were ltttc for my LG and knew we'd need help again so decided to go back to the dr after she was one which was our 'minimum' gap. I ended up pregnant on my second cycle of clomid so we have 2 years and one week gap. I think if I didn't have infertility problems I'd have aimed for a three year gap but I love my son to bits.

6 months seems soon to me though there are people that do it. I wanted to be back at work for a bit and for my LG to be that bit older when the baby came.

If you're not ready give it a few weeks. I like pro/con lists but they often don't work for highly emotive decisions

 

[LoveCakes]

Oh and we always knew we wanted more than one it was more the 'when'

 

[KalonKiki]

I'm not really sure how I knew when I'd be ready, we just kind of picked a date and went for it and I'm so happy we did. We always knew we wanted at least 2 children and that didn't change after having our DS. When he was 4 months old the broody bug bit me and I impatiently waited for close to a year and a half to TTC. We decided we'd TTC no sooner than June 2015 and no later than June 2016. We ended up TTC and catching in June 2015. I have zero regrets, I absolutely love having two children. My DD is 9 months now and the broody bug bit me again after an oops DH and I had this cycle. Never did I ever think I'd want 2 under 2/3 age 3 and under but now I'm hoping for a Christmas even though I know the chances are slim. Now that I know for sure I want a 3rd, if I'm not pregnant (and I'm probably not) I'm officially back in WTT.

Ultimately the decision is up to you but I'm assuming that you have time to decide. You don't have to make up your mind right now, you'll know when or if you're ready to have another. Weigh the pros and cons and see what works best for you and your family. If you don't want another baby then don't allow yourself to feel pressure to give your DD a sibling just because that's what society expects. Make sure that if you do have another that it's because you actually want another baby, not because you feel like it's best for your DD or because it's what's expected of you.