When does it get easier ..

[DanniB8910]

I've not posted in this section yet so I'll give you the whole story...

So baby was totally planned, last June we decided to try for a baby .. This June I'm having the baby!
Everything seemed to just go wrong from February time, it was the now ex's birthday and I totally spoilt the dick. I offered to take him shopping for the day and have a nice day out but all he said back was "err dunno ill let you know". Then 3 days before his birthday I found out he was planning on going Leeds for a night out with the boys but hadn't told me! I found out through facebook .. Buttt this whole facebook thing was weird too! He deleted both of our accounts in august to stop arguments and jealously (his part) so I didn't know he was still using facebook! I had seen he was going for a night out through a mates profile so I went mad at him. He told me I was stupid for getting angry he was just being nosey. So I asked for my password so I could use it too and he wouldnt give me it! He then kept telling me he would delete his account but he never did.. (this parts naughty of me) so I guessed his password and went on his account! I shouldnt have I know but I'm glad I did I found out he had been flirting with loads of girls telling them he didn't have a girlfriend! There was 4 girls talking to him in his inbox so don't know how many were on chat.
This lead into a massive argument and I just tried to forget it because I love him and wanted it to work .. Bigggg mistake!!
Last month he finally gave me his password to facebook and I was jus looking and noticed some girl had tagged him in pictures but I couldn't see them so looked on her page and there was pictures of him kissing another girl!!! Yet again I forgave him and tried to forget but then a few days later I saw on his phone he had invited two girls round, he tried to tell me he had no intention of them going over it was just "banter".
Now it gets better .. I went to see family in scotland the other week and I actually said to him please don't hurt me and cheat on me .. Guess what? Saw pictures on fb of him hugging some girl.

So, obviously we're not together but boy I miss him so much! I don't even know why cause he wasn't exactly treating me well. I was stressed all the time and he has made me feel so shit about myself .. No confidence at all.

I'm 21, 34 weeks pregnant and waiting for a flat (council).
I know I'm going to be so much happier without him but when will it get easier? I'm so scared of money issues now, scared I'll lose my car, I might be made redundant by time I go back to work .. Scared I'll be lonely forever!
I'm such a strong person and I know I am I've been through so much with my ex (use to push me around and he had drug problems) but I've never walked away from someone I love!

I think everytime he comes to see baby it's going to just hurt me .. He's going to be there for the labour aswell! Everyone thinks I'm so happy but really I'm hurting so much. I get jealous looking at happy couples with kids and just don't get what I've done wrong to be tret like this!

Sorry for the long rant but I needed it!!

Xxxxx

 

[lal]

It's a really hard situation, but it does get easier after you have the baby. Do whatever you feel is best, but I would not allow this guy/his drama at the hospital or in your life, when he decides for a week he'd like to be a family...he has shown you what kind of person he is. Everyone told me "people change when they have a baby", my FOB sure did not. He still goes out, hooks up with young girls, drinks too much, and is a complete waste of a person in general. It's hard when you feel so "stuck" with someone like this, because you're carrying their child, but like my friends say "the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else", haha I haven't done that yet, but I am positive that when I do meet somebody, things will get a ton easier with FOB.

 

[kirst1805]

Feel free to rant hun!

You don't deserve to be treated like that at all, but i agree with lal, it does get easier.

I'm guessing you are on maternity leave already, which probably doesn't help as you have the time to dwell on the way you've been treated.

Money worries, I know exactly how you feel, we've all dealt with them but everything works out.

As for being lonely forever, you won't be I promise you.. And if you feel down come chat to us on here.

If you don't feel you would be able to cope with having FOB at the birth, then don't, the last thing you'd need is extra stress when you are in labour. But give it serious thought over a couple of weeks to work out what you want before you say yes or no.


Probably haven't made much sense, feel free to PM me if you ever need a chat.

kirsty
xx

 

[Makena29]

I can't speak from experience, as I'm going through a somewhat similar situation, but time always lessens the pain. You're young, probably very lovely, and you're sure to meet someone else who will make you very happy (and whom you can make very happy). Hang in there.