When does the newborn phase get easier?

[MEPride]

DD is 6 weeks and 5 days old. Seems like starting around 4.5 weeks she started 'waking up' and has become increasingly fussy whenever she is awake. It's getting harder to put her down for naps. And the last 2 nights she has been awake a lot during the night when previously she would give me 4 hour stretches. I love her to pieces but I look forward to the moment DH gets home from work so I can go take a bath in peace for quiet and alone time. Seems like she is far more fussy when around me than DH for some reason.

She went through a few days of really extreme fussiness at about 5 weeks, which I associated with her first leap. But she never went back to being my quiet and happy baby.

I should amend that I don't think it's colic. She isn't screaming, just constantly fussy. And of course gets fussier as the day goes on. I look forward to mornings as she is the most rested and content.

Is this all 'normal' or do I just have a difficult baby? When does this newborn phase get easier? I'm hoping for some smiling sometime soon. It'll make everything seem a bit easier I think to get some kind of positive feedback that isn't whining, crying, or grumbling.

 

[Symphony7]

I think around 3 months I thought my girl was a lot more fun. She was whiny too as a newborn. ..just constantly kind of unhappy unless truly asleep. I wondered at the time if my baby was the only one who was just perpetually unhappy. Now she's almost 5 months and happy a good portion of the time. I can set her down and walk away and she is fine for a while. It's rough but it'll get better!

 

[MrsButterfly]

8 weeks things start to get ever so slightly easier. 12 weeks is a more major step change. Hang on in there. You’ll be amazed how quickly those early days become a distant memory (thankfully!)

 

[_Meep_]

Mine was absolutely horrible to start with, not going to lie. Crap day-sleeper, fussy feeder, constantly overtired and crying.

I have awful oversupply and aggressive milk let downs, so for us, this was the problem. She wouldn't have a dummy and therefore had nothing to suck on for comfort so she was absolutely miserable, especially when she was trying to fall asleep and just couldn't.

She grew out of gas, stopped suffering so much with general reflux and found her thumb/fingers around 10-ish weeks and has been an utter delight since then. I don't remember the last time she had a screaming fit, or even a fussing fit.

Generally, around the 3-4 month mark they stop being so grizzly and infuriated by everything. Depends what the cause is for the behaviour, but if it's just general frustration, finding their hands really helps.

 

[MEPride]

Thanks ladies, it's nice to read some 'estimates' if when life gets a smidge easier. We will hang in there obviously, but dang if it isn't hard sometimes.

It's funny though.... as a first time mom I heard the newborn stage is hard. You hear about the sleep deprivation.... I never heard a bleeping thing about how newborns can be constantly cranky, grizzly, easily irritated or frustrated beings. THAT would have been great information to know ahead of time. I was told to play and cuddle and do tummy time... how the heck is any of that supposed to happen when you're just surviving and playing damage control all day, especially in the evenings?!

 

[_Meep_]

I agree, it's shite ...

You do survive it though, and soon enough you have a lovely, cuddly, chuckling baby and all this crap is just an unpleasant blur!

 

[kirstybumx3]

Niko is 13 weeks old and it’s only the last couple of weeks or so that he’s been ‘easy’ really. He is quite happy when awake and will play in his own way and kick his legs etc when left alone whereas before then he needed constant attention or he just wasn’t happy at all. It will pass. X

 

[becsboo]

you should try having 9 no really it does get easier hang on in there hun

 

[jessmke]

Things have gotten easier for us around 3 months old. With bothy my kids, once they had head control and could grab toys they were much happier.

I don't want to be a downer, but just wanted to point out that things might not get better for you around 3 months! My first was an awful sleeper and I kept asking when I could expect her to sleep better. People would say 3 months, then 6 months, then I was told 10 months was the magic age. All these months came and went and things never got better for us. I spent that first year anticipating these times when things were supposed to get better, then when they didn't get better (and sometimes got worse!) it was just so shattering and disappointing. So things might get better for you at 3 months, but they might not, so try not to get your hopes up. It's better to be pleasantly surprised than utterly disappointed!

 

[krissie328]

I agree, 3 months seems to be when things got better.

 

[itsnowmyturn]

I would say after the 4 month sleep regression. That's when u start to get your life properly together. That's when my daughter started going to bed by herself and had a sort of set bedtime. It started to feel like she was becoming more of a child than a useless baby. Life just felt easier after that

 

[Zephram]

I also hate to be a downer, but 3 months is not a magic bullet. I’m still waiting for it to get easier and my DS1 just turned 5. Parenting never gets easier, it only gets different. It’s true that everything is a phase with kids and every phase will end quicker than you think, but then you’re on to the next thing that’s all-consuming...

My take: DS1 was all around a nightmare baby, from trouble breastfeeding early on, to terrible sleep, to cranky and grizzly all the time. I don’t think I started relaxing until he was 18 months old, no joke. Now he is 5 and instead of breastfeeding and sleep issues, we're dealing with growing up kid stuff, like emotions and defiance and burgeoning independence, all of which is just as huge as the newborn stuff - arguably more mentally taxing, actually - only with less wake ups at night (small miracles!).

In comparison DS2 was a much easier newborn. We had no feeding issues, he slept really well from birth, I thought I had it under control - and then the 4 month sleep regression hit and I didn’t sleep more than 2 hours in a row until he was nearly two. At 2 years 3 months he has finally started to sleep better and I’ve had a few nights with only one wake up! Incredible!

I’m pregnant with baby 3 and have no expectations this time around, except to expect that it’ll be horrific and I’ll be exhausted. Whilst the early sleep deprivation of the newborn stage does eventually fade and you do start getting five minutes to yourself here and there as they grow older, it never gets easier, not really. You just end up putting all that effort into different areas.

 

[cupcake.]

Well for us the newborn phase got easier, when my DD was no longer a newbor

She was a very colicky high needs baby. Nights were ok, but during the day she screamed for hours. She got over stimulated sooo quickly and could not wind down for naps, i was bouncing for what felt like ever with her in my arms only for her to sleep like 40 minutes, be happy for 10, eat and then fuss/scream until she finally fell asleep for her next mini nap.

3 months came and went and didn‘t make a difference.

HOWEVER for us it got better when she was 4 1/2 months so around the time babys hit the 4 months sleep regression.
She started sleeping more easily and i was able to gently get her to nap in her crib. She was able to be awake for longer and no longer overstimulated so easily and from then on she has been a happy baby! Like night and day difference and she never really regressed again.

So it might not be right at the 3 months mark but it will get easier, even my constantly screaming baby finally started to enjoy life on this side of the womb