When kids say "No!"

[SarahBear]

When your child is in a "no" phase, how do you respond? My daughter has been saying "no, I won't" a LOT lately. Simply demanding that she complies gets tiresome, so I have started asking "why?" and if she argues or repeats herself, I ask "But why won't you do it?" Not in a desperate sort of way, but just inquiring and then we have a conversation about it. Either she has a reason that we address, or it comes back around to "but I need for you to ______." I don't know if it helps anything... but that's what I've been doing! How about you?

 

[noon_child]

Yep I tend to wear her down with continuing to talk about it, why it is important, how I feel when she says no, that I respect her autonomy but she has to give me as good a reason for refusal as I have for needing it done etc. It usually bores/annoys her enough to get it done in the end.

Giving choices used to work “Are you going to tidy your pens away while I collect your laundry, or do you want to do laundry while I tidy” but not so much now she’s older.

I prefer natural consequences to arbitrary imposed ones too, so “I’m vacuuming this room in 5minutes, anything still on the floor might get sucked up if it isn’t put away”, or “I nearly ripped your new dress when I slipped on it because it was left on the floor. Go put your clothes away so they don’t get dirty and ripped”.