When to stop dummy use?

[SoupDragon]

I'm starting to wonder now DD is 8 months and is babbling and has a few teeth (no. 3 cut today!), whether I should be limiting her dummy use. She has it for naps and nighttime sleeps, which I don't mind so much about as there's the apparent link between dummy use and a lower risk of SIDS, though it is frustrating when she wakes crying at night because it's fallen out and she can't find it to replace it.

But she also likes to have it in the day when she's playing. Not all the time, by any means, but enough that I'm concerned it'll affect her teeth or progress with speech as time goes on. It's an orthodontic teat but I'm doubtful that that will prevent misalignment of the teeth, for some reason.

Should I start taking it away when she's not sleeping? Or is it way too early yet and I'm worrying over nothing? How do I wean her off it? I would like her not to need it any more as soon as possible/appropriate - it's been a lifesaver, but I don't want her to depend on it for comfort for too long, if that makes sense? I've no idea what's the usual age for giving up dummies!

 

[krissie328]

I started taking DS's away when he no longer kept it in his mouth. He started throwing it and using it to make noise instead of sleeping. This was about 8-9 months old. He pretty well self weaned from it. I had planned to take it completely away at 12 months.

I would probably start taking it away when she isn't sleeping and see how it goes from there.

 

[SoupDragon]

Thank you, good to know I'm not being a meanie thinking about it this early! I will try gradually reducing the amount of time she's using it in the day and go from there

 

[lau86]

I think around a year I tried to limit the use, it doesn't always work. Now he has it for naps, bedtime and any situations I need him to sit in his pram for a minute!! Which isn't very often. Up till then he found it so comforting I didn't want to take it away. I think if you can it's always good to limit it

 

[SoupDragon]

Definitely, Lau86 - it's finding the balance between taking it away before they're ready and leaving them with it too long! I don't mind if she needs it for sleeping a bit longer, but awake I'd really like to cut down if she will let me. I don't know where I'd have been without one in the earlier days, true, but I don't want her relying on it for so long that it starts to affect her development.

She can fall asleep and lose it and stay asleep for a while, but if she stirs and realises it's not there, she goes nuts. All I have to do is go up, replace it, and replace her where she was (as she will inevitably have squirmed up the cot looking for it), and she drops right off again, but that can happen several times in an evening if she's teething, for example. That's stopping her sleeping well, plus stopping me pumping as much as I should be, as it's only me who can settle her, she doesn't like DH doing it! I rely on the evenings to use the double electric pump, and also to spend some time with DH and eat dinner, watch a bit of telly, basically just have some downtime!

She'll get there, I'm sure, and I don't want to make her give it up before she's ready, but if I can help her be ready and teach her other methods to soothe and comfort herself that would be awesome

 

[CaptainMummy]

My 7.5mth (5 teeth) old uses hers when she is going to sleep. As does my 21 month old. As did my 4yr old.
My dd1 got rid if hers just before three, Santa took her dummies. Her speech was great and her teeth are absolutely fine! She did have it during the day sometimes too but not often.
My dd2 is the same, speech waaay ahead of where it should be and her teeth are perfectly straight.
I dont worry too much, as long as they dont have it.in their mouth 24/7 then I think it's okay.

 

[krissie328]

My understanding is that most pacifiers are now made to be fine for teeth and speech. All the ones I bought had specific statements like that.

 

[ClairAye]

My son was 23 months when I took his away, I highly recommend how I did it! I snipped the tip off and after 10 minutes of trying it, giving it back to me, trying it again etc he had no interest in it whatsoever!

 

[SoupDragon]

That's reassuring to know that it's possible to have it not affect teeth and speech! I think I'm a bit scared by all the posters up in the waiting room when going to see the HV about dummies that make it seem like your child will never speak and be a permanent snaggle-tooth if they have a dummy past 6 months...also my teeth are a bit crooked as I was a childhood thumb-sucker, but I know that's not really the same kettle of fish

I will remember that trick of snipping the end off for when we do take it away, I suppose if they don't get any sucking satisfaction from it they'll get bored of it quickly I do know of some parents of older kids who employed santa or the dummy fairy to take the dummies away, or 'gave' them to a new baby that the child knew...I will keep that strategy in mind also - I guess it's a case of what will work for each individual child

 

[MindUtopia]

I think if you feel it's working, I wouldn't be in a hurry to take it away for sleep, though I would be inclined to limit it during non-sleep hours simply because of the potential effects on speech. My daughter had a dummy for nighttime and occasional naps from about 4 months until just shy of 2 years. We kept it that long because it helped with sleep and it didn't seem to cause any problems. It was a non-orthodontic one, but her teeth are great, no issues there at all. We decided to take it away when we did because we felt she was old enough to understand. We could explain to her that it was gone and that she could go to sleep on her own without it. It was a rough few days to a week, but then it was totally fine. She never mentioned it again and she goes to sleep easily. If I felt it was working and helping with sleep, I wouldn't hesitate to keep using it that long again next time, though I would probably avoid it during the day.

 

[bdb84]

My 3 month old uses hers often as it helps soothe her desire to comfort suck. As she gets older, though, I will only give it to her for naps/bedtime. It's what I did with DS. I took it away at a year and had zero problems doing so. I replaced the pacifier with a few extra cuddles at nap and bedtime and that did the trick.

I believe it would have been much harder had he been able to use it whenever he wished.

 

[fides]

I actually just cut my daughter's up last week. She's 8 months and the only one of my kids to get hooked on a pacifier for so long, and like you, I didn't want it to go too long. She's relearning how to go down for naps, but it hasn't been as bad as I thought it would be. I cut the tips so that there would be no turning back. First few naps were rough, but at this age, they adapt quickly.

Good luck with whatever you decide!

 

[x__amour]

We plan to stop at 18mo. We did at that time for DD as well.

 

[BrittRashel]

DS used his up until he was about 3. He just wasn't ready to give it up. He has straight teeth (which is shocking considering I had terrible teeth until I got braces) and his speech is fine. I tried taking it away earlier but he wasn't sleeping at all so I gave in. He basically gave them up on his own at 3.

 

[sue_88]

My dentist told me unless excessively used then it's 3/4years old that it'll begin to negatively affect the mouth.

I would definitely limit it to sleep and comfort (when nothing else has worked) at your LOs age. My LO only ever used for sleep as she was breastfed until 11m so I would go to the breast for comfort.

She's approaching 2 now and only uses the dummy for sleep, so much so that they only live in her cot. I will not lift her out of bed until she agrees to take it out (which she always does). She's got excellent speech (assessed at 30-36month level) and a full set of beautiful teeth.

 

[Buttercup84]

My now 3 year old stopped using hers just after she turned 2. She had only been using it for sleep or when she was ill for quite a while prior to this but I still anticipated a battle! Luckily she was very receptive to stopping using it, I think she got some kind of reward but I can't for the life of me remember what.