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When to tell work ....

fizz63

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This is a tough one for me ... i temporarily split from my partner of 14 years last November. In April we got back together and we have now just split up again (he has been a right so and so - as you will see if you have seen my others posts!). Anyway, people at work knew that i split up with him in November and some of the closers ones do know we got back together and some of them don't.

My worry is that the ones that dont know i got back with him, are going to be gossiping sayings "whos the father then" and then the others that do know i got back with him are going to be saying "congratulations how does OH feel about it" coz i havent told them we have split up again (only happened at the weekend) Unfortunately my OH has messed me about quite abit in the past and this is why i don't tell everyone what is happening with us, coz things can change around 180 degrees overnight ! However, after saying he wants nothing to do with me or the baby - i am giving him no more 2nd chances !

(sorry for long post)

i work in a very very large office so thats why some people know and some people dont. I guess what i am worried about is people gossiping about me etc ... and i really dont know whether to say it is OH's but since the news we have split up ? its giving me a headache ! :wacko:

What did all you other single girls out there say ?
 
I wouldnt worry too much about it, you dont need to tell anyone till your like 20 weeks.. till then you could tell everyone you and your OH have broken up, then if ppl say ' oh i didnt know you got back together ' just say, yep we did thats us over now tho. Then whenever your ready announce your pregnant,
 
Let them gossip tbh, it's your life not theres.

When i was pregnant, everyone knew it was my now 'ex''s but its a close knit office kinda thing.
 
yeah, half my friends dont know who the father of my child is because i was in london, i dont advertise those kinda things, and they still dont know!! not stopped any of them getting in touch or wanting to be around or stuff, ur true friends wont bother about that anyways
 
Hiya...

Pretty much like Purple, I don't think people have the right to know the ins- and outs- at work! So it's my choice what to tell them :)

I'm a teacher.... it's a small gossippy school, and everyone knows I'm kind of a widow but not many people knew I was even seeing anyone. or how seriously

People will ask, I can guarantee it, some who will ask are kind people and friends... but nosey! Gossip will spread and the less nice people will have their field day, because that's how some of these people are sadly.

I've decided to tell everyone with a big smile and a laugh that it was the immaculate conception... i.e. mind your own business ;), I can get away with the sarcasm. If an opportunity arises and it's the right time to tell any of the people I know and trust, differently, I will... if not, I won't stress about it. I'm sure the chattering tongues will do their own thing anyway, they're bound to guess a half of the story and make up the rest lol!

The thing is, it's your life, not the people you work with... I'm sure there are some lovely people there, but you shouldn't feel pressured to give away more than you want to. At the end of the day you're with bump, what more do they need to know really?!!! Go with the flow, be armed with a silent knowing smile if you don't feel comfortable to disclose any information, and play it by ear. I'm sure you'll be fine :)
 
I only told my close family and a few friends when I first found out I was pregnant. I didn't tell anyone else until I was just over 13 weeks.
Things ended with my ex when he tried to push for a termination and then decided he wanted nothing to do with the baby. I feel that people other than my close friends and family don't really need all the details of what happened. I have had some people say things along the lines of I didn't know you were seeing someone once I say we broke up I feel like people don't really know how to react. A few people have said they're not sure whether to say congratulations or not- even after I say I'm happy and I want the baby.

Good Luck when you tell people. Just remember the people that matter won't care about the FOB they'll only care about you. :hugs:

I think people who are more interested in gossip aren't worth any stress xx
 
If anyone asks me I just say "its a long story" ... some of them go on to ask further questions so I just tell them the truth! The truth only makes him look bad so I don't really care to be honest.

xx
 

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