When will you totally believe you are having a baby?

[Pretty Please]

Hi,

After suffering MMC I'm really not sure when to let my mind totally be happy with having a baby.

After 5 upsetting MC's I don't want to allow myself to get too happy. I don't really like talking about having a baby with my husband as we don't want to build up too much hope as we never know how its going to end - hopefully this time it will work. I know you have to be positive but sometimes its better not to get too worked up......

When did you ladies believe it? How many weeks? Does anyone else feel like this?

Thank you xxx

 

[Vickieh1981]

When I am holding her I reckon. I am trying to be positive but it;s not working

 

[Mummy2Angel.]

Once he/she is here as well i think, i dont want to feel to attached......i felt so attached to max before he died, and i think that made the pain worse, so im trying to 'not believe' yet to be honst.x

 

[Lucia]

I agree. I probably won't believe it until I actually hold a baby in my arms. For now, I seem to be distancing myself. Like you, I have been through the mmc thing - twice actually. I just won't let myself get attached at the moment as I am trying to prepare myself emotionally for another bad ultrasound. I tell myself to be positive, but it is just so hard after what I've been through.

 

[Beadette]

With each little milestone I get more positive. I expect when I feel bubs moving it will start to feel real but like the others it will only sink in whenbaby is in my arms! Xx

 

[Peril]

I agree, its still far easier to believe that its not going to happen than to believe it will! I think my head is protecting me by not allowing me to think it will happen.

Hubby and i don't talk details or future! Both of us are scared!

 

[Vickieh1981]

Once he/she is here as well i think, i dont want to feel to attached......i felt so attached to max before he died, and i think that made the pain worse, so im trying to 'not believe' yet to be honst.x

Oh goodness me too. I felt so in love with Isabella but I honestly think that part of my heart died when they told me she was gone.

I don't feel like I have let myself bond at all with this baby and just keep waiting for the bad news.

 

[cgweegee]

miscarriage is so unfair. for me and my husband, it just took every ounce of elation out of this current pregnancy. I think our first ultrasound will definitely help both of us feel better but for now, i think i'm not believing it too much.

 

[Wantabean]

i still wake up every morning thinking that this will be the day i lose the baby. its really starting to take over everything else. i kinda wish i was new to all this so i could let myself love my baby properly. (i do love him but i know im holding back coz of the fear) i dont really want to even call him by his name coz it makes him too real. sorry not much help. i cant wait till he is here so i can relax and enjoy him xx

 

[Tulip]

i still wake up every morning thinking that this will be the day i lose the baby. its really starting to take over everything else. i kinda wish i was new to all this so i could let myself love my baby properly. (i do love him but i know im holding back coz of the fear) i dont really want to even call him by his name coz it makes him too real. sorry not much help. i cant wait till he is here so i can relax and enjoy him xx

^^ Same as Kirstie. I got a bit calmer for a few weeks after our anomaly scan but now the paranoia has ramped up again. I will not be happy until I'm holding him screaming in my arms.

 

[Rowan75]

we were talking about this l;ast night and we said when were holding a crying wriggling baby and probably not until then, although a heartbeat on a scan would be a start, I think you dont take anything for granted after mc do you? The supportive things people say you know actually arent true as the body doesnt always know

Fingers crossed for all of us for healthy and happy babies

x

 

[Vickieh1981]

i still wake up every morning thinking that this will be the day i lose the baby. its really starting to take over everything else. i kinda wish i was new to all this so i could let myself love my baby properly. (i do love him but i know im holding back coz of the fear) i dont really want to even call him by his name coz it makes him too real. sorry not much help. i cant wait till he is here so i can relax and enjoy him xx

Grrr me too. I think that's part of the reason that I haven't even looked through the baby names book.

What makes it worse is that I keep calling her Isabella and then feel terribly guilty for both girls.

Pregnancy after loss is damn hard. xx

 

[sue247]

I have been so scared since finding out i was pregnant. As time has gone on it has got a bit better but don't think i can relax until i have the baby in my arms and i know everything is ok!

 

[Lucy1973]

Even though I saw a heart beat last week, I am now panicking that there won't be a heart beat at the 12 week scan....I don't think I will relax until there is a baby there.....it's a shame this experience is not going to be an easy one for us, when it should be such a happy time.

Wish all you girls a healthy pregnancy.

 

[mislaww]

for everyone.

For me it's been a process - and I'm happy to say it's gotten better with time and as we get past milestones. We're not there quite yet, but I was bold enough to get LO a book today!

Fingers crossed for good news and some relaxation and enjoyment for all of us.

 

[Lucky777]

not bonding with the baby because you are scared of a miscarriage will not help should you (God forbid) miscarry again, the pain will be exactly the same (trust me). I'm taking it one day at a time, i pray everyday for my baby since i found out i am pregnant (had 1 ectopic and 2 miscarraiges, i never got further than 7 weeks) and today i am 9+1. Good luck to all of you...

 

[Tulip]

Lucky - congratulations on the new bean, hon xx

 

[Perdita]

i still wake up every morning thinking that this will be the day i lose the baby. its really starting to take over everything else. i kinda wish i was new to all this so i could let myself love my baby properly. (i do love him but i know im holding back coz of the fear) i dont really want to even call him by his name coz it makes him too real. sorry not much help. i cant wait till he is here so i can relax and enjoy him xx

^^ Same as Kirstie. I got a bit calmer for a few weeks after our anomaly scan but now the paranoia has ramped up again. I will not be happy until I'm holding him screaming in my arms.

Snap!!! Maybe when I've been dragged kicking and screaming into delivery and a screaming bundle is put in my arms I might believe it but not entirely sure even then!
xx

 

[Mizze]

What makes it worse is that I keep calling her Isabella and then feel terribly guilty for both girls.
Pregnancy after loss is damn hard. xx

Oh hon, another lady on here did that and felt guilty - no reason why either of you should- but its understandable. Anyway, she decided that it was time then to name her LO and she found that helped a lot.

for everyone.

For me it's been a process - and I'm happy to say it's gotten better with time and as we get past milestones. We're not there quite yet, but I was bold enough to get LO a book today!

Fingers crossed for good news and some relaxation and enjoyment for all of us.

Milestones are goooooooood, relieves the anxiety at least for a little while.
30 weeks today - next milestone (in my head 34 weeks, then 37 weeks (full term) but im not entirely sure I will let myself fully believe it until she is here and live and healthy and safe. I keep thinking that calling her by her name (which is so natural now) is bad luck - which is the stupidest thought ever but keeps occuring to bring me down in low moments.

not bonding with the baby because you are scared of a miscarriage will not help should you (God forbid) miscarry again, the pain will be exactly the same (trust me). I'm taking it one day at a time, i pray everyday for my baby since i found out i am pregnant (had 1 ectopic and 2 miscarraiges, i never got further than 7 weeks) and today i am 9+1. Good luck to all of you...

Very, very true. Doesnt stop us doing it though.... Good luck Lucky I hadnt made it passed 6 weeks (though discovered later) until this one. Hope it all goes well for you.

[Snap!!! Maybe when I've been dragged kicking and screaming into delivery and a screaming bundle is put in my arms I might believe it but not entirely sure even then!
xx

Oh yeah

The truth is once you have lost a baby you know things dont always work out right, you lose that very precious innocence that other pregnant women have and well you can never really recover it. All you can do it hope. Give yourself lots of PMA and wait. Its a hard long road.

to all.

Mizze xxx