Who have you told about IVF??

[Aphrodite]

So far we have told our parents, DHs 2 sisters and my sis in law. So my sis and bro dont know and my hubbys bro doesnt know.

Im a bit in limbo about all this as I sam the type of person that TALKS!!! lol I like to spill my guts especially about things Im struggling with like this.

However.....

I'm now beginning to regret telling anybody. My parents dont know what to do with the information and dont really talk about it. If I mention it I can tell they're uncomfortable. Also, I kind of feel robbed of the element of surprise in announcing my future pregnancy if they all know EXACTLY when I will have conceived. I'm thinking about saying that we are not going to tell them anymore information, the wheres, whens etc, as we want to try and keep things as 'normal' as possible and when I am pregnant, we can happily announce it and they will all be delightedly surprised like they should have been if we conceived normally.

The only problem with this I dont know if I will be able to keep my mouth shut long enough, and, worst of all...DH didnt want to tell anybody in the first place which I complained bitterly about and now I will have to admit he was right...not relishing that thought much either!

What has everyone here done??

 

[noddysgirl84]

I have told my parents and my brother and sister. DH has told his parents as well. And I have told a few close friends. I know they will be delighted when I announce the preganancy and most of them are more excited than I am.

I also look at it as a brilliant support network if (for some reason) it doesn't work. I know they will all be really caring and supportive. and if they know they are less likely to say an 'off the cuff' remark which could really hurt my feelings if I have just gotten an IVF

good luck to you tho x x

 

[lady blush]

Hi girls well ive told my parents my sister,my untie,and a close friend who is also going to undergo IVF.ive not told my in laws because they are in portugal and they dont understand alot about IVF they think that its not the husbands aperm they put in,what aload of rubbish.there was this women there that done it and people say that is not the husbands baby(they are very old fashioned) which is so stupid so im sacared that they would resent my baby if i told them it was concieved via IVF.

and i will not be telling enyone else i feel like people will think that its not mine or my husbands so i rather only close people knowing about this.

good luck girls.xx

 

[Lou32]

We've told my mum, dad and sister and I've told a couple of friends. There's one other friend I have who knows we're ttc, as I told her way back when we first decided to try and wish so much I hadn't told her as she always asks if we have any news (sometimes in front of her DH, which I hate!!) and then talks continuously about her baby. That was a big mistake. She doesn't know about ivf as I learned my lesson there. Oh, and my cousin who went through ivf knows.
Think I'm gonna have to tell my boss as I work in such a small team it will be impossible to avoid it.

 

[Aphrodite]

I know what u mean Lou, Im slightly regretting telling some people. I cant take it back but I can choose what to tell them so I think thats what I'm going to do.

You dont have to tell your boss-You're not obliged to I dont think unless u feel u need to. Be careful as some of the girls on here have had problems with their bosses being funny-there was a good thread about how to excuse all the appointments-dentists and such, but cant remember who it was or what thread, anyone help me out girls??!

 

[MissMonty]

Hi ladies, I've told my Mum and two close friends who I know I can trust 100% and they have been very supportive, they are all really excited for us, I've told them it may not work but they are so positive that it will. I'm defo not telling work I'm going to blag it as much as I can, luckily I can manage my own diary.

The main problem I have re not telling certian people is how they will feel if they found out and we didn't tell them, we haven't told DH mum as we think she will just worry but then I know she will be upset we didn't tell her - we're in a bit of a dilemma about that one x

 

[baybeehopes]

hi...i havnt got to ivf yet, a few of my girlfriends knw we ttc (but not that we seeking help) my best friend (now pg) knws... +my mum (who told my grandparents-i wasnt happy) so only my mum+best mate knw everything...my db's mum thinks he has no kids threw choice. He 37+was holding his brothers bby, wen his bro said 'ooo look he is getting broody, he will b askin u 4 1 soon' his mum laughed+said no way....! I dont think he would ever tell her, + i was bit bothered by her comment&? Although wen friends ask me 'wen ru having1?' i look at db + say not yet...as i would prob break dwn if i had to explain. So hard, thats why i love it in here, i can spk to u kot no stress no judging+ can get advice+rant i want as fewer ppl as poss to knw, cz i dont want any1 talkin about us (even if it was that they felt sorry4us) well a few ppl esp db mum will most cwrtinly b suprised wen we do get pg....mwahahaha x x good luck girls x x

 

[caline]

I have told my Mum ans Sister, DH's parents, my husbands brother and his girlfriend, most of my friends, my boss, plus lots of people at work, LOL. I have practically told the world! Well, I am a midwife so I work alongside obstetricians and other midwives so I have found that really supportive, and they were able to hurry my appointment at FC through a little quicker after my HSG and other tests.

I decided to tell my Boss because I do rostered shift work and it is inevitable that, at some point, I may have to rearrange shifts around the treatment. She has been good so far and has allowed me to leave work early for appointments.

I do know what you mean though, as far as everyone knows when you might get pregnant, but I'm thinking peple willl be extra happy as they will have know what we have had to go through to get there.

My Mother said to me the other day that she thinks its 'wonderful' that we are having IVF. She isn't a very good communicator and says lots of things that I find really tactless. Like this comment. I don't consider that fact that we have had over 2 years of trying and tons of tests and tears, and now I have to endure 2 months of drugs and procedures for a less that 30% chance of conceiving!! Yeah, wonderful!!! But i know she means well.

 

[Dilek]

On my first go i told both sets of parents and DHs close friends and mine. Ive also had 4 operations which they know about. And with my last, ive told them and you know with my friends there not interested. I dont hold this against them, as its a mess and im constantly having something done. I did get pissed off though. Im having IVF this month and no one knows. They do know i will be having it but the when they dont know. I dont dare tell them. Even the parents.

When i had the mc, they all didnt know how to respond and i dont blame them. The only support i did get was from was my husband. Although my parents were a great support as well, but there in Sydney and im in London.

 

[wish2bmama]

Hi all. I told my parents and a few friends for thier support. But DH's family will never know. We had asked what they thought of IVF last year and they said they think an IVF baby is a test tube baby and not "real." Which just made me so upset. A baby is a baby and will be no less loved by us. It doesn't matter how it happens. But Dh's family are crazy and really mean. So I take what they say with a grain of salt. But my family is really excited. My Dad even offered to help pay for the cycle. My Dad is all the support I need.

 

[Aphrodite]

Thats so sad wishb2mama. Its hard to believe how ignorant some people are. Like you, we will NEVER tell DHs brother and his wife because she's such a piece of work that I know she would use it against us somehow. Very sad, but does make me wary of who we tell.