Why can't he understand?

[Sarah88]

I am over this. My OH just doesn't get it.

I can't control my sex drive. If I could, I would give myself one. I hate that I don't want sex, and I hate that I feel like it's all my fault. If anyone has any suggestions for increasing my libido then I would gladly try it.

I hate him trying every night for sex, and I hate that he makes me feel bad that I don't want it. It's not that he's pushy or a bad guy, it's just that he's a guy. Sigh.

 

[nessajane]

men ey!! why cant they just understand maybe you should try talking to him???

 

[Sarah88]

No matter how much I tell him that I can't help it, he still doesn't get it.

 

[enigma]

I think hes being a bit tough on you, you must feel so heavy and tired.
Maybe offer hand and blow jobs(sorry if im to graphic).

 

[claire roach]

mines the same we been arguing like mad over it, hes got adhd which dosent help we used to do it twice a day now id rather die than have it
he kinda understands BUT if i so much as show him any affection like kissing ect he trys it on, i feel like its easier 2 totally keep away from him.
im sick of arguing i wish i could lock myself away 4 the next 7 months untill its all over

 

[Blob]

I'm kinda worried about that, as if i dont want it my OH pesters me, he doesnt think he's being nasty and doesnt MIND but just keeps on pushing.

 

[sglascoe]

I know exactly what you mean, me and hubby have not had sex for about 3 months now (my fault i just dont want to), he is always hinting!!!

so last night i thought ok, he not gettin it for a very good while after baby, so put a smile back on his face again, so we did and it was not as bad as i thought (dont know what i thought it was going to be like, god we have been together for 10 years and this is our 4th baby).

anyway hubby is very happy this morning, cant do enough for me!!!!

he he glad i can still be a wife and not just a mother...

 

[Beltane]

Sometimes if Im not in the mood, I'll agree to let him give me an oil massage with no expectations of sex afterwards. He only touches my back and shoulders and remains non-sexual. It's so relaxing and romantic that it can actually out me in the mood because I know Im controlling the situation. That and watching porn together is always fun!!

 

[brownhairedmom]

I have a super high sex drive now but in first tri the thought of having sex literally made me gag.

Adam used to constantly push for sex, I just pushed him away and actually stopped cuddling or kissing him because he just wouldn't stop. I don't know what is wrong with guys, I wish there was some magic switch that would come on in their heads that just goes "ohhhh rightttt. She's pregnant, THIS is what its like"

 

[mBLACK]

Sorry you're feeling this way! I know what you mean though, a couple of times I had sex out of pity for the guy and felt horrible afterwards. Guys are just guys, I hate that they don't understand.
Maybe try using an excuse like, "There's a baby growing inside of me, it just doesn't feel right. Can't it wait?". Surely that's bound to turn him off?

 

[PeanutBean]

I'm sorry you guys are feeling rubbish and pressured. I thought about sex for the first time in ages this morning, we've done it once since my period was due, about 14 weeks I think and not since. When I say thought about it, I don't mean wanted it, just remembered it is a thing that exists! lol Fortunately my DH never mentions it. Never tries, though I know he'd like some. I guess I'm just lucky. I'm just hoping my drive will return before the baby comes as there'll be little chance of any for a long time again then! I miss the intimacy.

 

[cuddles314]

I can't stand the way that blokes never get the hint when you're really not in the mood (even when not pregnant! lol). And the thing is, the more they try it on, or moan about not getting any, the quicker they destroy any slight hope there may have been to get us even slightly interested in the remote possibility of possibly giving them some loving! lol Aww bless, they never seem to learn.

xx

 

[Sarah88]

Sorry you're feeling this way! I know what you mean though, a couple of times I had sex out of pity for the guy and felt horrible afterwards. Guys are just guys, I hate that they don't understand.
Maybe try using an excuse like, "There's a baby growing inside of me, it just doesn't feel right. Can't it wait?". Surely that's bound to turn him off?

I did actually say to him once that it's like having a threesone with his own daughter. It turned him off sex... for the night.

I know what ya'll mean about showing the slightest hint of affection and them taking it the wrong way. He asks for 'pashes' but if I do he thinks it means he'll get sex.

I gave into him one night (I thought i'd do it on my terms and woke him up with a BJ at 3 in the morning); I thought that it'd keep him off my back for a week or even a few days but it didn't work

 

[Happy]

I have been completely off sex since my m/c in May. We have done it a few times but its caused some problems in that I start brown spotting. We found out I am pregnant a few days ago and there is no way on earth I feel like sex. OH has been very understanding and never mentions it.

 

[Sarahkka]

It's too bad that there isn't such a thing as a Pregnancy Simulator - some sort of pill or machine that would cause OH to feel morning sickness, bloating, boob pain, irritability, and a nice selection of the rest of the symptoms. W e could administer it and then check in with them every five minutes very officially, with a clipboard and score card. "So, on a scale of 1-10, how much do you feel like having sex right now? How about now? And now?" Then we could present them with their less than enthusiastic responses and suggest that they try a little empathy with us and maybe tone down the penis campaign?
My OH has been great on this matter, thus far. I am actually really enjoying sex in the 2nd tri - I'm finding it a lot more intense. However, the boobs are off limits. I cannot be held responsible for what I might do if those get touched. My reflex, if they even get brushed the wrong way by my clothes, is to tense into a fist and look for something to punch. They are just a no-go zone right now.

 

[alice&bump]

lol i know exactly how you feel. my OH has threatened to write to dear deardrie in the paper cos he's only gettin it once a week!! as my mates have pointed out he should have thought about that before he got it out in the first place. i just feel so unsexy with my bulging belly and huge heavy boobs and bum covered in stretch marks.

 

[Sarah88]

It's too bad that there isn't such a thing as a Pregnancy Simulator - some sort of pill or machine that would cause OH to feel morning sickness, bloating, boob pain, irritability, and a nice selection of the rest of the symptoms. W e could administer it and then check in with them every five minutes very officially, with a clipboard and score card. "So, on a scale of 1-10, how much do you feel like having sex right now? How about now? And now?" Then we could present them with their less than enthusiastic responses and suggest that they try a little empathy with us and maybe tone down the penis campaign?

Lol, great idea! Let me know once you've made one and i'll buy 3! I need them in case the first one breaks.