why can't people be happy for us?!

[Petal1]

Hi, any advice would be appreciated. Basically, i'm 24 and my fiance is 29, we've been together two years and are excited to start concieving. He works and i'm finishing up my masters (already have a degree) so i told his sister about this last week in confidence and today my partner has just arrived home and told me his mum was saying it's better to wait a few years to have kids yet. I'm upset about this, how can i deal with this situation? Thanks.

 

[Mrs.Gj]

Deciding when to ttc is such a personal decision. The only opinions that matter are yours and your partners. This is honestly why many choose to keep their decision to try to themselves because people who's opinions we value are often not as supportive as many would like. I'm so sorry their family isn't being as supportive as you would like but this choice isn't up to them. This is your's and your partner's choice. If you are happy with your choice, then go for it. As far as a response, you really don't need to respond. If you want to respond, you could say something like we appreciate your input but this is something we have fully discussed and are happy with OUR decision to expand our family.

Absolutely best of luck to you!

 

[Petal1]

Thankyou. He's mum had three children by the time she was 24 whereas her son is 30 next year! You're right, it is our decision and i will tell them that if they question me about it. I feel like cutting contact altogether if they are being so disaproving of our future child. Xx

 

[prettybirdy27]

don't cut contact altogether. But I would avoid talking about TTC with them at all until you're actually pregnant. I was in a somewhat similar situation, where we told my MIL and she sat me down and basically told me what a terrible decision we are making and how we aren't ready, and even told me that "well, at least you'll be better than one of those 17 year old crack whore moms."

It really really sucks and I'm sorry this happened to you. Just don't talk about it to them in the meantime. I'm sure they will come around once you actually are pregnant.

 

[lisap2008]

I agree with the previous posts , I would not talk about TTC , I dont talk about it anymore with my family because I also get negative comments.

 

[meg_bellamy]

Good luck hun, it can be something special and secret between you and your partner for now I'm lucky that my MIL is desperate for us to have a baby but my own mother, has acted aloof in the past when I have good news, I think it can sometimes be jealousy or a reflection of how they wanted to live their life.

 

[bluecanary487]

Sorry to hear that you got such negative feedback. I definitely sympathize. I'm in med school and am TTC and when I told people, the first response I always got was along the lines of, "Well, you can kiss becoming a doctor goodbye," or "You know, balancing school and a baby is going to be a LOT of work. Do you really think you can handle it?" Plus, now that we've been trying for awhile people keep asking, "Aren't you pregnant YET?", which kind of depresses me because we had some fertility issues. Now I wish I hadn't told anyone.

 

[meg_bellamy]

wow that's awful! there's such double standards, a man can have a good career and a family but a woman must choose? BS. While I was studying midwifery about 5 women in my year had babies, they just deferred for a year or two and came back, and they are all now successful midwives! best of luck conceiving you are in charge of your life, not other people.

 

[samjoneswest]

it is not about what other thinks about you. All depends on what you two decide. Don't feel bad about what others say.