WHY do ppl ask if it was planned!!??!

[tj1980]

I'm getting very annoyed at the phrases:

"was it planned? " or "I didnt know you was trying!"

What the hell does it have to do with anyone whether or not is was planned.......arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

Sorry I had to have that rant!!!

 

[Vickie]

That really is none of their business!!

 

[tj1980]

That really is none of their business!!

I know!!! But so many ppl have asked me that.

 

[charliesam]

well i am almost 18, although i am qualified hairdresser and with my boyf for 3 yrs it is not the best situation to be in - but i still get asked "was it planned" er wot the hell do u think!! ppl can b so stupid

 

[Serene123]

My neighbour asked my mum if my pregnancy was planned. I think everyone else knew it wasn't.

 

[Tilly]

I usually ask people if it was planned, just to see how they feel about the situation - I wouldn't ask a stranger though, only someone that I felt I knew well and knew wouldn't mind me asking.

My boyfriend just said it annoys him though, as it's nosey.

So my conclusion is, try not to let it bother you.. it's a matter of opinion. You don't have to say if you don't want to, can't you just say "that question is a bit inappropriate".

 

[xJG30]

I'd never ask someone, none of my business really..

My colleague knew it wasn't as I was that shocked out, I passed out at work

 

[tb42]

I can't think anyone would ask this type of question. It is really inappropriate. It's none of their business. Not even my family ask me this, well no one ever asked me this question before.
Some people don't think though when they say things, so don't let it annoy you.

 

[mBLACK]

Hm I never even gave much thought to it, but that topic does seem to come up alot in various conversations. People just tend to push their luck alot with pregnant women these days.

 

[Lucy&Pard]

Everyone at work has asked me the same thing or said " Had you been trying long". No it was an accident silys now go back to your desks and mind your own business! People seems to forget their manners around pregnant ladies.

 

[Gabi]

I don't think people think about how it could upset you. It seems to be one of the main questions to ask a pregnant woman. I'm guilty of asking a friend if hers was planned. It was a few years back and I honestly didn't think she'd take it offensively... she didn't.

I was asked with my last pregnancy if it was planned.. which it was. This time around no one has asked me because they know it was definately planned.
What I'm asked though is if the timing was planned. I'll have my baby at the beginning of Spring. So no cold nights for me and it wont be too hot for the baby. Then 2 weeks after my maternity leave is up I go on my 3 week December break. LOL so far no one believes that I didn't plan the timing like that at all. Even though it's out of my hands.

 

[tinytoes]

people are curious I guess. Maybe they want to figure out how delighted or not you are? I dont know - it is a little insensitive.

I was asked too, and I've been with my DB for nearly 8 years.
We also had the - "are you going to get married then"?...does wind me up a little.
But people are just curious I guess and so ask. Better that than them gossiping I suppose.

 

[Tilly]

Im surprised how many of you it bothers?? it never bothered me, same with people touching my belly.. no big deal.

 

[keelykat]

I must be one of few women who hasnt been asked then lol!

Probably because ive been broody for several years and most people knew we were planning on trying at some point, but i didnt annouince we were ttc.

The receptionist did ask if i was going to keep it or not though, when i rang up for results-my sister told me she only asked as obviously she doesnt know me or my situation. Still peed me off though.

keely.

 

[Dad-2-B]

Hahaha - I raised my annoyance about this to my girlfriend when we told people that we were expecting!

Hope you don't mind me butting in by the way

After telling people in my office i got total randoms asking me "was it planned?" Now, I wasn't too fussed about friends asking but I was being asked by people that I'd hardly ever spoken to! I didn't even know some of their surnames lol! I told by girlfriend that I was going to say to the next random that asked me, "No, it wasn't actually. Me and the missus are absolutely gutted! Why did this have to happen to usssss???!!!"

Needless to say, my girlfriend was against the idea

 

[leeanne]

I guess people make that comment due to how young you look or due to marital status, as in if you are not married.

This baby was not planned and was unexpected and I have no problem saying it yet I also add that we are excited and happy about it. A few have asked too and I haven't really been offended by it.

 

[codiontour]

yeah people always ask my age, im 24 (almost 25) and married 2 years!

 

[tj1980]

Hahaha - I raised my annoyance about this to my girlfriend when we told people that we were expecting!

Hope you don't mind me butting in by the way

After telling people in my office i got total randoms asking me "was it planned?" Now, I wasn't too fussed about friends asking but I was being asked by people that I'd hardly ever spoken to! I didn't even know some of their surnames lol! I told by girlfriend that I was going to say to the next random that asked me, "No, it wasn't actually. Me and the missus are absolutely gutted! Why did this have to happen to usssss???!!!"

Needless to say, my girlfriend was against the idea

LOL...that's so funny!!

I'm planning on telling people at work tomorrow becasue I've gone massive during my easter break. If anyone asks me that question re if it was planned i may just say what you've said above and see their reaction!!!!

Funny thing is i've been with OH for over 10yrs!!!! so who cares if it was planned or not!!!

 

[Jemima]

I have to say that this is starting to bother me too! Almost everybody has asked me. I really don't like the question.

I have just started saying "I don't like that question!" and laughing and hope they get the message.

I mean, what happens if it wasn't planned and you had really struggled with the decision to go ahead with it? And then you have someone asking you if it was planned! That could be quite upsetting.

Am I being a tad over-sensitive? x x

 

[isil]

it bugs me because it kind of feels like they're saying 'well if it's not planned, it's not as wanted' which is crap. I didn't plan it but I think that me and my OH deciding that I wouldn't take the pill anymore was planning it in a way. I was told I was practically infertile and we wanted to give any baby that had a chance of coming a long, a chance of developing!

A woman I know who has been trying for ages really annoyed me when she said 'if anything goes wrong it's not like it was planned' as if to say that because it's not a planned baby, his health and well being doesn't matter. Cow.

/rant....