Why do the people closest to us hurt us most?

[Molae06]

I have had loads of strangers make hurtful and ignorant commments, etc, but this is one of my first experiences with someone close to me doing something so hurtful. So I go to dinner with a friend last night, and from what she said it was just me and her and maybe another friend from work. This friend knows how much I have been struggling to keep my sanity lately and how hopeless I have felt. Yet, I get to dinner and there is not one, but four other people there, one of which has her newborn son with her, another of which has become recently pregnant with #2 on her second month of trying. 15 mins into dinner my friend who invited me texts me from across the table and asks if I am okay, and I reply "as okay as I can be." I came off as being rude and a bitch because I did not once acknowledge my one friends newborn, and I did not congratulate my other friend on her new pregnancy. I instead had to write them apologies in e-mails today. That was one of the most insensitive things and positions my friend could have put me in. Why is it that someone so close to me could hurt me so much. I do not agree that this one is pure ignorance as her best friend has recently given birth after many failed IVF cycles over the past few years, she should know better. Ugh.

 

[cooch]

They just don't get it, its plain and simple. I really do wish ppl could understand better. You're not the bitch she is. Fair enough, the right thing to do is to congratulate/ackowledge, but she should have given you the heads up that they would be there.

I hope in your emails you gave a proper explanation and didn't pander to them. Unfortnately sometimes we have to let ppl go. Your not at that stage yet. did she say you had been rude and a bitch? Or was that your interpretation. We all need to take others into consideration but we also have to put ourselves first. xx

 

[tamithomas]

You had nothing to apologize for imo. I hate how pregnant women think they HAVE to be congratulated. Congrats for what? For accomplishing something women have been doing for thousands of years? You're not the bitch at all hun, it's your friend and the mothers honestly. I hate women who think they HAVE to get compliments or else you're a mean person for not putting them on the table to them.

 

[tawanamood]

I wouldn't have written any emails to anyone so you're definitely a stronger woman than me!

Your friend is very tacky for bombarding you with multiple people having babies in one dinner. Kudos to you for sitting through dinner and not breaking down. I would've exited within the first 10 minutes with an, "emergency."