Why do we apologise?

[Pixelle]

To those who feel they don't need to apologise...good on you! I mean that...not in a sarcastic way!
Wish I could do the same...maybe one day I will

I do think FF should be supported a bit more by HV's, Midwives etc. I had no clue what to do with regards to bottles, sterilising, actually feeding etc. I only had my Mum to talk to about it, bearing in mind that info is decades out of date!

I know you can look it all up online etc, but there is so much conflicting info. It'd be good if they could just give the basic info. I'm sure a lot of my early FF problems could have been smoothed out if I'd known what the hell I was doing!

If I have another baby, I will give BF another go. But I'll be armed with the true info. Not "ideals" that health professionals give as truth. Just a shame my baby had to be the guinea pig in learning the pro's and (mostly) con's!

Again, I do think breast MILK is best. But the actual feeding? Not always. And if you have no milk, FF is all you've got, so who cares? You're feeding your child, and that's all that matters, really.

 

[celi84]

Just wanted to point out a TV show that aired in April, but is now on YouTube called: Is Breast best? Cherry Healey investigates. I was very curious to watch it as a mum-to-be.

If you have time to watch even just the beginning, you will find about Cherry's own story (she struggled with severe mastitis and had to give up bf after being admitted to hospital), and also the story of a young first-time mum who was determined to bf but it was all pain and dread until she was lucky enough to find someone to help her out (tho it did not happen overnight) and even the story of a second-time mum to prove that former experience in bf still does not guarantee a straightforward bf experience, as her baby struggles to latch, she ends up with bleeding nipples, etc.

Towards the end of the show, you will see a group of lactivists for who bf was easy and enjoyable but sadly, refuse to see how hard it is for other mothers and are very quick to judge them (why give your baby a piece of rubber in his mouth after carrying him for 9 months? Why give a certain mamal the milk from another mammal? ETC. ETC.). I loved the bit when Cherry said "I wish my bf experience was as smooth as theirs"

 

[summer rain]

I did feel that TV programme was very one sided and exaggerated; aside from the Moroccan businesslady, it showed all ladies for whom BF went smoothly as crazy hippy lactavist types; and this was deliberate. I do know some ladies who were speaking to the researchers and were meant to be in the programme but the researchers decided they did not represent the wild-haired; non-make up wearing, militant 'lactavist' type they wanted to show so the researchers decided not to include them. I personally have never had problems with cracked and bleeding nipples; I'm not saying it isn't quite common but this programme made out it happens to everyone and virtually everyone has serious BF problems and this simply isn't true.

 

[Char.due.jan]

I did feel that TV programme was very one sided and exaggerated; aside from the Moroccan businesslady, it showed all ladies for whom BF went smoothly as crazy hippy lactavist types; and this was deliberate. I do know some ladies who were speaking to the researchers and were meant to be in the programme but the researchers decided they did not represent the wild-haired; non-make up wearing, militant 'lactavist' type they wanted to show so the researchers decided not to include them. I personally have never had problems with cracked and bleeding nipples; I'm not saying it isn't quite common but this programme made out it happens to everyone and virtually everyone has serious BF problems and this simply isn't true.

^^ this, I felt the programme would just put people off breast feeding to be honest.

I had no problems other than engorgement at the start and sore nipples, not cracked or bleeding though.

I think they should of balanced the positive with the negative to show that yes it can be hard, not everyone can do it. But for the people who can and want to it's a wonderful experience. I loved the business woman though as she was adamant she wouldn't breast-feed when she was pregnant!

I just felt the programme was to justify why she didn't BF and to try and take away some of her guilt. It was very self-centered IMO

 

[celi84]

I did feel that TV programme was very one sided and exaggerated; aside from the Moroccan businesslady, it showed all ladies for whom BF went smoothly as crazy hippy lactavist types; and this was deliberate.

I can't really argue with that, although there was another working mum who was pumping, she did not say she had difficulties. she and the one who gave birth to her second did not strike me as fruitcake lactivists, even tho she thought it was better than ff for bonding. It is just that Latin looking mum who decided to become one and as a group of them... God, don't get me started. The Moroccan businesswoman was amazing however. The thing that I didn't like about the program is that the few mums who ff by choice seemed not to do so for the best reasons (such as being like Jordan).

I think unfortunately, TV shows have to make high rankings and if they were showing bfers and ffers that are more the women-in-the-street type, the show would be considered too boring.
However, there are not too many ppl who like CH, would dare to point out that bf might be the official guideline, but it doesn't mean it's easy for everyone. On the same token, some women have no difficulties becoming pg, and for some (like me) it takes over a year. Some never have morning sickness, and some still have it in the 2nd trimester.

 

[summer rain]

I did feel that TV programme was very one sided and exaggerated; aside from the Moroccan businesslady, it showed all ladies for whom BF went smoothly as crazy hippy lactavist types; and this was deliberate.

I can't really argue with that, although there was another working mum who was pumping, she did not say she had difficulties. she and the one who gave birth to her second did not strike me as fruitcake lactivists, even tho she thought it was better than ff for bonding. It is just that Latin looking mum who decided to become one and as a group of them... God, don't get me started. The Moroccan businesswoman was amazing however. The thing that I didn't like about the program is that the few mums who ff by choice seemed not to do so for the best reasons (such as being like Jordan).

I think unfortunately, TV shows have to make high rankings and if they were showing bfers and ffers that are more the women-in-the-street type, the show would be considered too boring.
However, there are not too many ppl who like CH, would dare to point out that bf might be the official guideline, but it doesn't mean it's easy for everyone. On the same token, some women have no difficulties becoming pg, and for some (like me) it takes over a year. Some never have morning sickness, and some still have it in the 2nd trimester.

The 'latin looking' mum was the Moroccan mum, and I said the ones they showed BF going completely smoothly for; aside from her they made to look like hippy twee types, they said that BF went smoothly for the lady in wales whose first baby died but showed her having problems with her second baby (when in my experience and statistically it tends to be ladies have problems with their first baby but its easier with subsequent ones) and the other young girl was having serious problems as well which turned out to be to do with latch, something easily fixed but I don't think the programme made it clear enough. I also thought it was wrong that the ladies; or rather teenagers they showed FF by choice were vacuous glamour model wannabes. BBC3 is not known for its in depth, unbiased documentaries though

 

[celi84]

The 'latin looking' mum was the Moroccan mum, and I said the ones they showed BF going completely smoothly for; aside from her they made to look like hippy twee types, they said that BF went smoothly for the lady in wales whose first baby died but showed her having problems with her second baby (when in my experience and statistically it tends to be ladies have problems with their first baby but its easier with subsequent ones) and the other young girl was having serious problems as well which turned out to be to do with latch, something easily fixed but I don't think the programme made it clear enough. I also thought it was wrong that the ladies; or rather teenagers they showed FF by choice were vacuous glamour model wannabes. BBC3 is not known for its in depth, unbiased documentaries though

Actually, the one I called "Latin(american) looking" was not the business woman who was not planning to bf, but the one in Brighton, or somewhere round there. Her DH was having her breastmilk in his cereals, before she decided to donate to milk banks (at least, I can't fault her for that). she's the one who ended up joing a hippy lactivist group and taking action.

 

[_EllieMae_]

It really bugs me too when people look down on FF. I have had 2 kids and FF them from the start. I just didn't feel comfortable with the thought of BF'ing and to be honest it kind of grosses me out. I shouldn't be made to feel bad about it though, it's my body, my kids, and my choice. I don't go around giving BFers bad looks because they whip their breasts out where I can see it just to feed their baby.

 

[starrybean]

I dont apologise, nor do i explain why unless they ask.

I couldnt care less how others feed their babies or what they think of how i feed mine.

I didnt even attempt breastfeeding

Im not even anti breastfeeding. Im quite pro, as long as the mother is happy.

If somebody has an issue with how you feed your baby thats their problem and narrow mindedness, rise above it, we are just as good mothers and love our babies just as much x

I totally agree with you I won't apologise for feeding my baby

If people have ff issues (ie,people who think ff isn't right) that's their problem and not mine. I will never be made to feel guilty. I tried to bf, it didn't work out, that's life. My lo is happy, I'm happy, hubby is happy - how I choose to feed my baby is my choice and no one else's!

 

[Mrs IKW]

I chose to FF, I did try BF for the first night but by the morning I had bleeding nipples and I just felt it wasnt for me. I have the happiest and loveliest little girl and we have the most wonderful bond and so I couldnt care less what anyone else thinks! I am lucky that formula exists as otherwise I would probably have had a very difficult time of it - I dont feel guilty so I dont need to explain the reasons why it was difficult so anyone who is anti-formula feeding can just suck it up!

 

[xolily]

i've not read the whole thread but i don't feel the need to justify it.. i think those that do are just giving the people who look down on us more ammunition. i see so many people claiming to be confident with their decision to FF but in the next breath go on to say why they do it it's no-one elses business.