why do your mates or cousins

[mummyjadey]

why do your mates or close cousins stop seeing you because you have had kids i dont get it

 

[LaDY]

I wish i knew hun...i feel like a loner

Lucky iv got my little man to keep me company xx

 

[emmajane]

I keep telling myself it is because they are jealous!

 

[Stardancer]

I have some suggestions... if they don't have kids, maybe they want them and they find it hard to be around other people with babies (I know I do), or maybe they don't like kids at all... it's also possible that they think you're too busy, or think that you won't want to do the same things as before you had the baby. It could be anything really. Have you invited them round, or suggested doing things?

 

[mummyjadey]

yeh ive asked them they either dont talk to me no more or just make an excuse up so i give up basically iam a loner too lol think thats why i suffer from severe depression

 

[keelykat]

ive noticed a mixture of reposnses since having Elliot, two have kind of backed off and havent texted me/rang me much and seem a bit put out. Its as if its too much hassle arranging to meet me now? one has been the opposite, shes crazy over Elliot and asks when she can come over and she us again (shes broody big time lol), sends little presents etc too. A couple of others have their own kids, one has older kids (one at school, one at nursery) and has to squash in a part time job so we find it hard to see each other, the other has a baby 2 months older then mine but she leaves her baby a lot so she can go out partying and almost pretends baby doesnt exist on those nights (a night out is good, dont get me wrong)...she actually worries me with her behaviour (but we wont go into that right now).

Overall though most have backed off, making me feel a tad lonely at times but i guess it'll be different when/if they have kids of their own.

keely.

 

[mummyjadey]

ive noticed a mixture of reposnses since having Elliot, two have kind of backed off and havent texted me/rang me much and seem a bit put out. Its as if its too much hassle arranging to meet me now? one has been the opposite, shes crazy over Elliot and asks when she can come over and she us again (shes broody big time lol), sends little presents etc too. A couple of others have their own kids, one has older kids (one at school, one at nursery) and has to squash in a part time job so we find it hard to see each other, the other has a baby 2 months older then mine but she leaves her baby a lot so she can go out partying and almost pretends baby doesnt exist on those nights (a night out is good, dont get me wrong)...she actually worries me with her behaviour (but we wont go into that right now).

Overall though most have backed off, making me feel a tad lonely at times but i guess it'll be different when/if they have kids of their own.

keely.

yer your totaly right well my kids ave got 8 cousins n he never sees eny of them there al near the same age as him as well but we dont talk to my partners family so i feel sorry for connor as he as no children to play with and when i did use to see my m8 she did things which wasnt right like for example we was all in her car and my son was bout 2 months old and she had both windows all the way down and i said could you put your window up please as my son is trying to breathe and she said no im hot. they just dont understand they will al come running to use when they have kids and got a problem but i will turn my back on them like they did with me

 

[Ria_Rose]

Non-baby friends are interested in him but then I moved away when I was on maternity leave, so they don't see me very often. A lot thou, just haven't made an effort.

I think it boils down to becoming a baby bore. lol. None of us mean to, but our LOs are the most important thing in the world to us and we want to talk about them, but non-baby friends are either not as interested. It works both ways thou, we're no longer as interested in who said what to who etc. Different priorities.

One thing thou - I am now a lot closer to my friends with babies. I've never been close to my cousins as they were much older than me but now I've had Josh they have suddenly started to contact me a lot more via facebook. Maybe they think they have more in common with me now?

I guess it's part of the Mummy club you're either in or you're out.

 

[keelykat]

yeah-ive had a lot of people talk to me on facebook with babies/kids...a few from school who i now seem to have a lot more in common with! and some from forums like this. xx

 

[mummyjadey]

yer i have 2 mates who have got kids but i ardly ever see them one lives to far away and the other as 2 girls and has a busy cleaning life even thoe she lives with her mum still lol,and yeh i get a lot of people on facebook they will talk to you on there but ya never see themx

 

[babe2ooo]

yeah i know what u mean i dont see any of my work friend any more, when i was pregnant they all said they would come over loads and i've only seen one and shes backed off now, the only people i see is people with other babys and thats it, i still want friends but its just hard for me 2 get to them cause i dont drive i'm just lucky my oh stays in every night with me

 

[mummyjadey]

yeh i dont drive either lol and it is hard and its hard for me to make mates im quiet and shy but when you get to know me im loud lol but i dont know anyone in this area well on my street

 

[babe2ooo]

yeh i dont drive either lol and it is hard and its hard for me to make mates im quiet and shy but when you get to know me im loud lol but i dont know anyone in this area well on my street

yeh i'm the same once u get to know me i'm really loud and annoying lol but if u dont know me i shy and keep myself to myself

 

[mummyjadey]

yeh i dont drive either lol and it is hard and its hard for me to make mates im quiet and shy but when you get to know me im loud lol but i dont know anyone in this area well on my street

yeh i'm the same once u get to know me i'm really loud and annoying lol but if u dont know me i shy and keep myself to myself

yeh exactly lol but i duno how o make mates oh well lol

 

[1st_baby]

I lost some friends after I had max , i think they think we wont be fun anymore lol

 

[oOKayOo]

Im not sure hun , i dont understand when i read everyones posts about people not getting in contact anymore , ive never had this problem and if anything they always contact me and meet up with or without kids.

It shouldnt matter at all , its a shame that we dont live near as your children are around the same age as mine ! Its hard making friends , as i am very shy but i usually hide behind ella and im alot more comforable when i have the kids with me. SO if i run out of things to say i just play with them

There are lots of groups that you could take your children too, maybe join some in the new year and you can make friends from there?

 

[mummyjadey]

yeh true lol i feel comftable with me kids with me to strange that yr would be nice to meet someone who has the same age kids as mine xx