Why does she have to be so mean?

[tigerlilly]

We had another scan today they can't be 100% sure but see three lines so saying girl! But we want to double check at next scan.

As you might remember I posted about having difficulty with the baby's gender whilst at the scan today I came to realise that the issue wasn't so much babies gender but having to deal with the gender fall out with my mother if it's a boy, again. I have had some time over the last few weeks to accept the baby regardless of sex and baby having their legs crossed at the previous scan helped.

We went to my mum's and I told her that she'll have to wait until the next scan to find out. She said "Oh i thought that would happen today" I gave her the scan pics and she looked at them for a while lowered her voice and went Oh and huffed saying "it has the same nose as ds" and went silent! Meaning it's a boy, again! She has three grandsons and always wanted a pink fluffy girly, girl. I was a tom boy! when ds was born she came to the hospital and said " It's defo a boy than?"

I just want to punch her in the face. I'm so angry, were so angry.

Dh and I are debating to keep the sex of the baby a secret. This pregnancy is either being made miserable by the medical ppl or my mother.

 

[jessmke]

What a horrible way to treat you and your unborn child! If she wants a girly girl so bad, then go out and try to have one yourself, don't put your wants and desires onto other people! If I were you, I would not be telling her the gender until after the baby is born. I would also not be including her in much of the pregnancy news at all, if she can't be supportive then she doesn't deserve to have the priveledge of being involved.

 

[lewood88]

Aww hun ur mom doesnt sound the best, my mom can have her moments too shes really hopeing this baby is a boy, gave u tried explaining to her how her comments are upsetting u? Xx

 

[Jessicahide]

Sounds like my mum, we are having DS 4 and she was upset..... Even if it had have been a girl I wouldn't let my mum dress her up like a dolly and make her say things like I love shopping!!! There is far more to being a girl than being dressed up like a drag queen.... But anyway stuff them! I love my boys they are great and I am glad to welcome another one xxxxx

 

[tigerlilly]

Aww hun ur mom doesnt sound the best, my mom can have her moments too shes really hopeing this baby is a boy, gave u tried explaining to her how her comments are upsetting u? Xx

She was like this with my first pregnancy, telling me how there's something wrong with the baby, she just knows it about five times a day! Every day. If i tell her she's up set me she'll make it about her saying, how she didn't mean too, she was only trying to help she doesn't know what she's done wrong! she only ever tries to do her best. etc, etc.

 

[SweetV]

My mom is the same way. When I told her this one was a boy she asked if I was going to have another ultrasound to make sure. When I told her that I had seen everything and was very sure she huffed and said well you better start thinking about trying again then (I was only 17 weeks at the time, how about I get through this one first!). I think if we do try again I'm going to keep the gender to myself as she really upset me.

 

[tigerlilly]

My mom is the same way. When I told her this one was a boy she asked if I was going to have another ultrasound to make sure. When I told her that I had seen everything and was very sure she huffed and said well you better start thinking about trying again then (I was only 17 weeks at the time, how about I get through this one first!). I think if we do try again I'm going to keep the gender to myself as she really upset me.

 

[prettybirdy27]

Are you sure that she was trying to say it's a boy? If the ultrasound tech couldn't get a 100% sure answer, she probably can't either. Maybe her response was just out of disappointment that she wasn't going to know for a while yet. Not trying to defend her because she is being a horrible person, but maybe it isn't so bad.

 

[Keza]

Wow that's sucky. I feel lucky to have such a supportive mother. She would like a girl but doesn't bang on about it and certainly wouldn't act the way your mum is if its a boy. I think its awful.

 

[lewood88]

Aww hun ur mom doesnt sound the best, my mom can have her moments too shes really hopeing this baby is a boy, gave u tried explaining to her how her comments are upsetting u? Xx

She was like this with my first pregnancy, telling me how there's something wrong with the baby, she just knows it about five times a day! Every day. If i tell her she's up set me she'll make it about her saying, how she didn't mean too, she was only trying to help she doesn't know what she's done wrong! she only ever tries to do her best. etc, etc.

U know what hun give her the cold shoulder when me and my mom fall out i dont speak to her for a whike i know its mean but my mom as loving as she can be shes got a vile side to her too be interesting to see what this baby is and how she reacts i know if its another girl she will be dissapointed lol xx

 

[littlesteph]

my mum in law was hoping we'd have a girl, she also has 3 grandsons 2 of which are mine and hubby's. I think when we told her we're having our 3rd boy she was a little disappointed but she quickly came round to the idea of a 4th grandson.
I hope your mum dose as well.

 

[tigerlilly]

Are you sure that she was trying to say it's a boy? If the ultrasound tech couldn't get a 100% sure answer, she probably can't either. Maybe her response was just out of disappointment that she wasn't going to know for a while yet. Not trying to defend her because she is being a horrible person, but maybe it isn't so bad.

She's already said that she's decided that she's going to say it's boy so SHE won't get so disappointed when she finds out it's not a girl! As she really wants girl and she'll only get disappointed if it's not.

 

[prettybirdy27]

Are you sure that she was trying to say it's a boy? If the ultrasound tech couldn't get a 100% sure answer, she probably can't either. Maybe her response was just out of disappointment that she wasn't going to know for a while yet. Not trying to defend her because she is being a horrible person, but maybe it isn't so bad.

She's already said that she's decided that she's going to say it's boy so SHE won't get so disappointed when she finds out it's not a girl! As she really wants girl and she'll only get disappointed if it's not.

Ohh, got it. Well, I guess I'd just let her shove off and be disappointed and sit in her own cloud of misery instead of joining in the happiness and joy you have with a new baby right now. Let her lay in the bed she's making and try to not let it bother you (I know, much easier said than done.) At some point, hopefully she'll realize she's being a douchelagoon and missing out on the youngest baby's life and hopefully she'll feel stupid and come around. Good luck.

 

[laurac1988]

Totally feel you hun. My MIL's reaction to being told our baby is a girl was "oh. I quite wanted a boy. As long as it's healthy, hey?"

RUDE. JUST RUDE

 

[AP]

I wouldn't tell her once you know for sure. She's being horrible!!!!! This isn't her surprise tbh, not her child and not her issue.

 

[tigerlilly]

Thank you ladies.

We've decided we'll get the gender rechecked at the next scan in August and if they still think girl we won't be telling my mother or anyone else! Which is unfair on everyone else who haven't been a pain in the bum and would like to know, simply because of her behaviour.

We're not telling her because not only will she become an even bigger nightmare expecting a pink, glittery unicorn farting, frilly princess all bells and bows etc and a boy will result in sulking and foot stamping. It's hard either way, regardless of gender as there will be her shit to deal with, we're so tired of her shit. I can't even talk about baby stuff birthing plans without her picking holes in everything, ironically she thinks she's a great Mum, crazy.

After 3 miscarriages in a row this should now be a time of celebrations and joy, not misery and strife. She decided that she'd buy something for the baby, a little baby grow and teddy which is clearly male in design with lots of blue! I hope the Sonographer is right and it's defo a girl how I'll laugh, childish I know. But if I pull up on it i'll get the victim routine.

Some mothers should come with a health warning! A great big huge neon one with flashing lights and a fog horn.

 

[SweetV]

It does suck for everybody else but glad that you feel that you can withhold the gender.

 

[tigerlilly]

Well apparently while talking to the MIL about baby I referred to the baby as she, twice! according to dh, I think this is going to a lot harder than first thought.