Why does this always happen? :'(

[tinymumma]

Every time things get to almost perfect in my life, something happens that just ruins it all :'( My ex has started messaging my baby daddy, saying all kinds of horrible things. Lie after lie after lie, trying to get him to leave me. Saying that I've cheated, just a whole range of really terrible things. My boyfriend and I had a massive fight over it. He doesn't know who to believe and told me to get an abortion :'( He is 26, with a stable job, we are supposed to get a car in the next couple of days and get a house together as soon as possible. My ex doesn't know about the baby and I don't want him to. I know that if he knew, he would hunt me down and try to kill my little sea monkey :'( He puts it up on Facebook, all the time. I lost a baby to him last year and he didn't even come to the hospital! He just sat and smoked weed, saying it would have been too stressful for him! What a joke. I'm really scared that my boyfriend now will just go ahead and believe him and then bub and I will be on our own :'( He will be an amazing father and I don't want him, or the baby to go without each other. He said so many hurtful things last night. That I just used him to get a baby, I have that now, so he may as well leave :'( That's a load of crap. Baby wasn't planned and we were both so over the moon. Now I just feel so helpless. I've finally found someone who I believe I deserve. I know I wouldn't be able to find anyone better and the thought of having to do all this without him, chills me to the bone.
I got so upset last night, yelling, screaming, crying. I'm really afraid that it has seriously affected the baby and I might lose it because of it! I just don't know what to do! :'( WHY, why, why? :'(

 

[xforuiholdonx]

Massive hugs hun!
First off, i dont care what man says what, he ahould have come to you and asked who this physco is. For him to say any of that is way out of line. Can you call and report the x for harrassment?
I hope things smooth over! Fucking men i tell you

 

[mstennischick]

aw don't worry too much it will get better. Your boyfriend will realize that this crazy ex is just a psychotic jealous freak! And agreed with her^^^ call the police and get him reported or something! I don't know how it works where you live. Or report him to Facebook or whatever he was messaging from. In the mean time, don't let your boyfriend treat you like that. He should trust YOU how long have you guys been together? You need to stick up for yourself and if he continues to be a jerk then just give him a few days to calm down. This is not the kind of stress you need! Especially in your first trimester! prayers sent your way.

Congratulations though! This is an amazing thing!

 

[skyesmom]

hey hon!
i understand your boyfriend being upset, but honestly, if he's such a good man as you say, he shouldn't have offended you because some psycho freak is harassing you and him too. if he is with you he has to trust and believe you over some idiotic *******.

and as pp said, you should report your ex for this harassment and also the stuff he's put on facebook.

your current boyfriend does sound like a good man but hey... if he can't trust the girl who is willing to have his child after all she has endured the last year all alone.. then there are some stuff he should also be working on himself.

don't blame it all on you, you have no control over your ex unfortunately and you couldn't have known he would have come up with this. your boyfriend may as well cool down after this mess has settled a bit and come over and apologize for his harsh words. you don't deserve it.

and you won't be doing anything on your own anymore. you have your baby with you sending sticky stress-killing vibes to you and your bean!!!

 

[tinymumma]

Things got better, he told me he would forget about it...
Then we went to the doctors today and that just made my world come crashing down. I've made a post about it in the first trimester section if you would like to read.
I began to cry uncontrollably and he got mad. I know it was just because he felt so helpless and just didn't know what to say or do to make me feel better. Things kind of went down hill from there though. He ended up going home, without even saying goodbye. Telling me he believes my ex... I know he will get over it and as soon as he gets home he will tell me how sorry he is and how much he wishes he didn't leave. He is probably just as scared as I am. We have both lost children so this is a very stressful process for the both of us and the fact that the doctors have done nothing has probably made him just as upset as it made me.
5 minutes of being pregnant is hard enough to go through when you have lost two children previously, but 6 more weeks!! Wow, just wow
(brief update if you don't want to read the other post. Doctor won't order another appointment for another 6 weeks. I didn't get my bloods, not even a simple urine. 6 weeks to wait before they will give me bloods, another 10 before I get my first scan. Bullshit if you ask me (excuse the French)

 

[xforuiholdonx]

GO FIND ANOTHER DOCTOR, IMMEDIATELY. With the fact that you have miscarried before, and have had a second tri loss, youd fogure your doctor would.be on the ball, but 12 weeks os too late for.bloods, and you need a scan before 15... like wtf?!

 

[tinymumma]

Omg, I know right!!
So I'm not a crazy bitch (excuse my language.. again)
Deffs going to get another doctor. No more disappointments for this mumma!

 

[xforuiholdonx]

Good! May I ask what caused your second tri loss? Incompetent cervix or otger issues? Sorry to ask, just curious.

 

[tinymumma]

Good! May I ask what caused your second tri loss? Incompetent cervix or otger issues? Sorry to ask, just curious.

It's alright, lovely. I'm unsure of what caused it. I was 14 at the time and I received no medical attention, during the pregnancy, or afterwards. I was too afraid to tell anyone, let alone go into a doctor. That's probably the reason why I'm so intent on getting as much medical attention as possible this time. To hopefully foresee issues that may arise. I just want to fast forward to my due date
See my little miracle, happy and healthy in my arms...
The waiting game, one I've never been good at

 

[mstennischick]

sorry just read all this but yeah you need another doctor I had my first scan at 7 weeks That's ridiculous like wtf? definitely find another one, this one sounds like an incompetent idiot to me! So glad to hear the boyfriend got better!

 

[tinymumma]

Tell me about it. He is clearly still stuck in the dark ages
I tried calling the young mothers program at Mater yesterday but they didn't pick up, even though I called about 6 times. I'll try again today. A lot of ladies on here have told me to skip the GP altogether and just see the Ob. That they will give me bloods and scans right away, if not as soon as possible.
Feeling awfully ill this morning, I hope I don't throw up in class :S

 

[xforuiholdonx]

You really nned to just go to sn ob lol

 

[RainbowDrop_x]

I agree with the other ladies in that you need to get another doctor, one that will take your previous losses into consideration and take your pregnancy a bit more seriously.

As for your OH he needs to grow a pair, your ex is your ex for a reason he should know that, and at the age of 26 he should be mature enough to say you know what, I know your ex is trying to cause shit and I'm not going to let him come between us. Your carrying his child for Christ sake he should show you some respect!

 

[skyesmom]

As for your OH he needs to grow a pair, your ex is your ex for a reason he should know that, and at the age of 26 he should be mature enough to say you know what, I know your ex is trying to cause shit and I'm not going to let him come between us. Your carrying his child for Christ sake he should show you some respect!

rainbowdrop, i couldn't have said it better myself!!

 

[tinymumma]

Sometimes I think he is more of a teenager than I am with his mood swings, lol. He has started to really get his shit together now he is back at work though. We're going on a date tonight and I'm really excited. I want to see the new Paranormal activity but he doesn't seem to keen (I think it's because he is a scaredy cat, as much as he denies it )
Went and saw another doctor and we both loved her! She was amazing and has ordered tests for me. No hcg level checks though... apparently they only order that if m/c is suspected to see the progression. I begged her, but she just laughed it off and told me that I'm clearly being a worry wart and to stop stressing about it. No early scan though as apparently medicare only rebates one scan before 16 weeks On came the waterworks and more begging but she has one ordered for early March. It seems soooo far away At least I'll actually be able to see bub then, I guess, not just a blob and a dot... Still quite bummed about it though, however I got weighed and everything else was done to my satisfaction (only 46.2 but I was only about 44-45 possibly less before I fell pregnant. I'm 5"5 so apparently it's not too bad) I certainly thought I would weigh a lot more than that by now though...

 

[hunni12]

Well it's good you and OH are getting better...I still think it's something wrong with the doctors tho..youre technically a high risk patient and need to have scan done asap. With my son i got a scan at 7 weeks 12w, 17w and 28w and i wasn't a high risk patient

 

[tinymumma]

I've been told by a lovely lady on here who works as a sonographer, that what the gp told me about only getting one first tri scan, is a load of codswallop
Will certainly be going back in and demanding a scan. I don't even care if I have to pay for it! Apparently because I know my LMP, I don't need a dating scan? What about to just check the baby is the right size, that they're growing as they should, that they're still alive?!
Urgh, so many thoughts, I just don't get why doctors just sit there and tell me everything will be fine? Shouldn't they be doing anything they can to ease my worry? Not just sitting in their chair, telling me I'm being overdramatic >.<

 

[hunni12]

Yeah she lied to you you're supposed to get more than one i would go back if i were you hun

 

[RainbowDrop_x]

I think the scan thing depends on where you are, in the UK you get one at 12 weeks and one at 20 weeks and that's it. I had 4 scans when I was pregnant but 2 were private.

Glad your boyfriend has pulled his socks up. Don't ever let him disrespect you like that again he's supposed to be a man not a boy

 

[xforuiholdonx]

The ultrasound bit really just depends on your location and insurance! Im in the US, and under my moms insurance, so got a scan at 5w, 7w, 11w, 20w, and 28 weeks with our daughter...and 10w, 16w, 20, 24w with our son.. but i know with medicaid here unless there is a medical reason they typically are only allowed to do one scan in first tri, and the 20 week one.
Glad things with your boyfriend are getting better!