why even bother and get my hopes up everytime! :(

[sugarpi24]

Every cycle here lately I try and not get yo excited or think about ttc...but always that last week before af arrives I start looking at every sign...etc...getting my hopes up thy I'm pregnant and then af arrives sucks! You would think by now I would learn by now anf not get excited

 

[heres_hoping]

I am exactly the same hun. I knew I shouldn't do it, because I knew how hard the come down was going to be. But I did, and now it's cd1 and I'm in tears. It's so hard. I guess we just need that time of hope and optimism x

 

[dimps_]

Hello! In exactly the same boat, cycle day 2 today and it arrived late so I had such high hopes, especially as it was my first month on clomid. Fingers crossed for all of us x

 

[Laurana]

I'm the same... Every month I start out knowing my chances are slim... But then I somehow convince myself "this month is different because..." And then the witch arrives and I cry. A lot. And then I worry that my husband thinks I'm insane. I have no reason to think that, he's really supportive, but I FEEL insane. And sad. And angry. And then I try to convince myself pregnancy sucks and I don't need a baby- and fail miserably and cry some more.

So I can't help, but I can tell you, you aren't alone!

 

[vietmamsie]

I feel the same, I tell myself over and over not to get excited, but then by 10dpo I break down and start letting myself think that maybe this could be it. Whats worse for me is that rather than getting AF, I often find myself pg, get even more excited, only to lose it a few days/weeks later. When will I ever learn?

 

[sugarpi24]

Thanks guys. I just want yo be that person that "stops trying" and then it'll happen... I just dont get it on why I'm not pregnant yet! I'm one that pulls the pregnancy tests out of the trash to double check and when I see a faint line I get my hopes up even though I know its just a evap line. Ttc is hard and sucks!

 

[Laurana]

Thanks guys. I just want yo be that person that "stops trying" and then it'll happen... I just dont get it on why I'm not pregnant yet! I'm one that pulls the pregnancy tests out of the trash to double check and when I see a faint line I get my hopes up even though I know its just a evap line. Ttc is hard and sucks!

Yup. Tests become an obsession. I start seeing imaginary lines even... I've shined flashlights through the test just to be extra sure there's no line. I've even checked the test the next day. I'm not proud. I switched to digital. No delusions there.

 

[Myshelsong]

Thanks guys. I just want yo be that person that "stops trying" and then it'll happen... I just dont get it on why I'm not pregnant yet! I'm one that pulls the pregnancy tests out of the trash to double check and when I see a faint line I get my hopes up even though I know its just a evap line. Ttc is hard and sucks!

I completely understand. I wish I could stop planning and stop charting and testing and making myself crazy but I just cant! Thankfully I never really got into the FRER or I would be freaking out even more! I dont even take a pregnancy test because seeing nothing breaks my heart.

First time I ever saw a line was on a OPK test and I was like "Oh thats what it would look like" Since then I realized I cant see another blank line and not break down.

Every month though I symptom spot no symptoms and watch my temp chart like a nutter. Then bawl when I start spotting. Totally feel you.
I have to stop living my life in 2 week incriments

 

[Tulips19]

TTC is the hardest thing I have ever been through. I started the month super positive, but yesterday (9dpo) I started getting kinda down. Very emotional. I even made a list this of reasons why this is "my" month (1st cycle clomid/ovarian drilling/lost 33lb/EWCM for first time/1st peak on CBFM/preseed/softcups/myomectomy) to keep my spirits up. I even looked up my potential due date and when I would be far enough along to tell people. How crazy is that?

It is so hard not to obsess and symptom spot. It is hard not to have that hope. I don't think anyone understands the emotions and angst like the women on these boards. It is very nice to have support from women in the same boat. I appreciate all of you ladies!

10dpo and scared to test. I think I will try to live in my fantasy world for a few more days before testing.

Good luck ladies.

 

[Kittycat155]

Same boat except I got a positive but had MMC. 4 damn years. I had no signs except had some beer and made me pretty messed up feeling and my nipples were a bit different looking. All the other signs came after positive, think I found out very early though.

 

[Tulips19]

Viet and Kitty - So sorry for your losses my heart breaks for you both.

 

[sugarpi24]

I always fear getting a positive and it ending to soon I could only imagine what that's like! I always fear that if I do end up pregnant what if I'm a bad mother...what if what if what if... ttc is running my life it seems...its expensive...and my insurance even covers most of everything which is a Loy better than some other ppl I know but dang! We just gotta keep going and hopefully we will get that positive! I just feel like its never going to happen

 

[DAISYPRENCESS]

Hi, everyone, I am happy to see that there are women who can understand me. I have been in the same boat as you for 6 years. Since the very first moment I have been following signs and every month my heard breaks. I try not to think and not tell my self " may be I am pregnant" but..... then my body shows me that I am expecting again my AF. I can feel the pain and the tiredness. ... and I feel worse. Sometimes I hate the fact I am a woman.

Nice to see support from other women in my situation. Xxxxxxxx

 

[dimps_]

Everything everyone is saying describes me to a t! I've been testing obsessively, I see two lines on an opk and imagine if it was a hpt, I sob uncontrollably every month, and I think my dh is starting to think I'm insane.


This is the hardest and most stressful journey I've ever been through, and I the mainly it's because it's out of my control.
I got asked yesterday "when are you going to get pregnant then" by a relative and I almost went crazy.

 

[sugarpi24]

I'm the same... Every month I start out knowing my chances are slim... But then I somehow convince myself "this month is different because..." And then the witch arrives and I cry. A lot. And then I worry that my husband thinks I'm insane. I have no reason to think that, he's really supportive, but I FEEL insane. And sad. And angry. And then I try to convince myself pregnancy sucks and I don't need a baby- and fail miserably and cry some more.

So I can't help, but I can tell you, you aren't alone!

Everytime af comes I try and think of all the reasons why not being pregnant is a good thing...it helps for a min or two then I go back to being upset.

 

[CaliDreaming]

AF showed for me today and it was really hard because I had much stronger symptoms than I usually have and she was a little late. I'm so crushed right now. I had been thinking about seeing a therapist for a few months now and I'm feeling so down these days I finally made the call to set up an appointment.

 

[Blythe]

Thanks guys. I just want yo be that person that "stops trying" and then it'll happen... I just dont get it on why I'm not pregnant yet! I'm one that pulls the pregnancy tests out of the trash to double check and when I see a faint line I get my hopes up even though I know its just a evap line. Ttc is hard and sucks!

I completely understand. I wish I could stop planning and stop charting and testing and making myself crazy but I just cant! Thankfully I never really got into the FRER or I would be freaking out even more! I dont even take a pregnancy test because seeing nothing breaks my heart.

First time I ever saw a line was on a OPK test and I was like "Oh thats what it would look like" Since then I realized I cant see another blank line and not break down.

Every month though I symptom spot no symptoms and watch my temp chart like a nutter. Then bawl when I start spotting. Totally feel you.
I have to stop living my life in 2 week incriments

Could have written this myself

 

[sugarpi24]

Ive thought about therapy sometimes too and the doctor office I go to even offers it which is great.AF is due anytime for me ive been having symptoms but we all know how that goes

 

[vietmamsie]

I have been really obsessive about tests as well. No so much any more, but for the first year I would dig them out of the trash and saved every one. I would look at them over and over again throughout the day (especially if they were positive) comparing them to make sure they were getting darker. TTC really drives me nuts!

 

[sugarpi24]

Af showed up tonight probably cd1 tomorrow.