Why is this so difficult...

[boogerbug]

Me and the ex have only been apart for about a month and I'm struggling with trying to find a routine again. I went from having a clean house, some time to myself and lots of time out and about. But now my apartment is messy, I'm a mess and I can't find time for myself!

And as if that wasn't bad enough, my ex is off having the time of his life now. Even though he literally lives right around the corner he only see's our son once a week. He makes certain that on his days off he has his day off(sleeps in until 12pm, games out, has his buddies over). The only time he really takes our son is when he goes to his mother place for dinner on Sunday - and even then, his mother is looking after LO not him. I know this all too because he texts me about it.

He also doesn't respect any rules I've asked him to.. like bringing LO home by 7 so I can start getting him ready for an 8pm bedtime. Instead he brings him back after 8 and calls my questioning annoying.

My mother has been trying to be as helpful as possibly, unfortunately she lives an hour out of town.

It's so hard..

And now some money issues are arising!

 

[angelic_one]

I know it's hard now but give yourself a bit of a break, you're going to still feel like crap it's not been long! Every week will get better until you're like me, 10 months on and barely remember being with my ex. He has a new GF and is having the "time of his life" but I don't care anymore because his life is fuck all to do with my life! What he does with his time means nothing to me, all that matters is what I do and what my little girl does. So give yourself some more grieving time, but try to do things YOU like doing, spend time doing things you love with people you love and focus on all the positive things you have in your life. I promise, 9 months ago I was in your boat, 2013 was the year from hell for me and I never, ever thought I would cope. 1 month in and I didn't feel like I could cope with the pain any longer. But you do cope and you'll be stronger for it. It took me about 6-7 months for it to stop hurting and even now when I hear of my ex and his new gf off on another fancy date when he doesn't pay a penny towards my daughter, it makes my blood boil. But then I call a friend and we drink some wine or I play with my daughter or get some work done and I forget what I was so upset about. And dya know what? I ADORE being single now. I'm genuinely SO glad to be on my own. You will get through it, we ladies are strong hun.

 

[Kate&Lucas]

Oh hun my house is a mess and we've been apart 3.5 years! I agree with the PP give yourself a break
FOB sounds like he needs a kick right up the arse. It's sickening that they get to swan about and carry on living their lives and tbh, I'm not sure that bitterness ever fully goes away. At the end of the day, although at times it might not feel like it, you got the 'good' end of the deal. He's the one who's life is going to shit and you get to raise your precious LO.

You need to get strict with him but getting back into a routine as a single parent takes time. You'll get there.

 

[boogerbug]

Thanks ladies! That really does help, knowing that I'm not doing to bad. I guess I should be giving myself a little more time, it's just seeing him and what he's doing drives me mad. And then his apartment is immaculate. When he comes to my place to pick up LO he's made comments about toys being on the ground, or a few dishes not being done.
It just reinforces all the reasons why I left him.

A new little update though that's been nagging at me all day..

My ex has gotten into a rotten little habit of saying to our son 'Daddy promises he'll come see you tomorrow' then never showing. He did this the other day before turning to me and saying 'don't be pissed if I don't show up'.. wait.. what?! I lost it on him. I told him that even though LO is still to young to understand he's going to be big enough one day. And then he's going to wonder why his dad keeps promising him things.

I'm so angry and disgusted with him that he doesn't see a problem with promising those things.