Why is this so stressful??

[MeaganMackenz]

Third time mom first time successful (ish) bfing. Various issues with my first 2 daughters.

Now little girl number 3 is here and wouldn't you believe it she's a bfing rockstar! No cracked nipples no bleeding no fussing.

However,* my supply seems to suck!!* She gets on demand during the day and* formula when she's gotten both breasts and is still hungry. Probably a 75% bf to 25% formula ratio.*
She Co sleeps with dad at night (we haven't slept together in a few weeks due to bronchitis and a serious mouth breathing problem haha) and gets 1 formula bottle between before bed and wake up bfing. I pump when she doesn't have a complete feed (falls asleep or is satisfied after one breast) and sometimes if I'm too full and she's sleeping.

I can MAYBE get 3oz from both if I'm extra full. That's it!! That's peanuts!! I have 1 bag of frozen milk in 4 weeks and have rarely pumped enough for a full bottle. Usually takes 2-3 pumps to get enough to fill a bottle to give to hubby for night or freeze. (he ends up using it before its frozen or full) Wtf!? I don't want to stress on this, I don't want to be a slave to the pump (on demand is always given to baby) but I don't want to give up.

I just had a d&c too for retained products so I feel so defeated. My supply is low isn't it? Should I just give up as I feel drying up is right around the corner.

 

[Kazy]

Hi Meaghan. First off you are doing a great job. Bf is serious work and getting a good system down for you and baby is what I find the hardest. The way I see it every ounce of breast milk you can give them is a success. You are doing a great job.

How many ounces does your hubby give her over night? I can only pump 3oz at a time max right now but that's what she's eating per feeding ( I know this because lactation consultants did a weight check before and after feed). Are you pumping at night? Supply can decrease quickly if you go too long without nursing or pumping especially in the first 6-8 weeks. Although it varies for bf mom I was told on average you take their weight in lbs x 2.5 and that's how many ounces they eat they entire day-so devide that per how many feedings you are doing. For example my lo is about 9lbs and has 7 feedings per day so each feeding is 3-3.5 Oz or so.
When I pumped a lot with my first I could never pump the amount she ate in one feeding. My body just doesn't respond as well to the pump. So your supply may actually be better than you would think from what you are pumping. And supply is generally lower in the evening. So if you are pumping mostly then that could be why you don't get as much.
You can also do things to increase supply. I took fenugreek tablets before and that really helped. Or feed her more often for 24 hours or so and that can stimulate breast to make more. It generally doesn't take long for your body to catch up.

Sorry for a super long response but I completely.understand the frustrstjon, co fusion, worry, etc. Of bf. I have had issues myself this time around (different from yours) and never expected it with this being my 4th bf baby. I know I can use all the help I can get!

Keep up the good work of loving your lo. You've had a lot of stress to your body with recovery this time too so font be too hard on yourself.

 

[noon_child]

Retained tissue can have a serious impact on supply so now that is gone there is no reason why you can't get your milk supply to meet LOs needs. In fact it doesn't sound too bad anyway (especially considering the retained tissue will have been blocking some of the milk making hormones) as 3oz is about average for babies over 2 months, younger babies can take less and still thrive. It certainly doesn't sound like you are about to dry up!

Things to keep in mind:
Feeding every 2-3 hours will boost supply (the closer to 2 the better)
Night feeds are the best for boosting supply so if you can spend a few days at least ditching the night bottles that might help
Every formula feed reduces the signal to your body to make more milk. A hungry baby is a baby who will return to nurse frequently but that in turn will mean more milk and after a few days that will mean a less hungry baby! It is normal during growth spurts to have to put a baby back on a breast they just finished feeding from but this won't last forever and is how your body knows more milk is needed.

 

[MeaganMackenz]

Thanks ladies.

I've read both replies, Ill try to point form responses lol

- Baby gets ( if she wants to feed, apparently shes getting pretty close to a 6 hr stretch of sleep! ) about 4oz says hubby.
- No, im not pumping at night. As I said, shes been sleeping with hubby and he ( despite me telling him not to ) is trying to be a hero who lets me sleep and not wake me. He will if he cant settle her, but that hasn't happened in awhile. I should work on this. Key would be to have the pump and pump stuff ready before bed. Getting up to get the parts and the bottle in the fridge at 3am doesn't override my want to stay in bed
- I too have read about the retained placenta/products causing low supply. I am hoping this is my case and waiting for some sort of change but nothing has happened yet. I remember with my first daughter, who was the second best of my girls at bfing, being in the shower and squeezing my boob and milk going all over. I dont get that now.
- As for formula. I try not to give it to her as often as it might sound. During the day she gets breast first, if shes had both and is still not satisfied then I offer formula. That is the case 90% of the time. However, if we are on the go she gets formula first depending on where we are. I am sadly not comfortable whipping my boob out everywhere I go. I do try to make it work but it doesnt always.

I realize I am complaining about something I am not giving my 100% in fixing, so maybe im just whining or maybe I just thought it would be easy peasy and its not. But I will take all your suggests and try them out and hope for the best. Since bfing didnt work out in the end with my other girls I am OK if it doesnt again, but this time Id like to try my damnedest before giving up.

 

[noon_child]

Thanks ladies.

- As for formula. I try not to give it to her as often as it might sound. During the day she gets breast first, if shes had both and is still not satisfied then I offer formula. That is the case 90% of the time...

I realize I am complaining about something I am not giving my 100% in fixing, so maybe im just whining or maybe I just thought it would be easy peasy and its not.

If LO isn't satisfied after both breasts, you can put her back to the first breast. If she really won't latch then perhaps she's acting hungry but actually has wind or needs a poo (all tummy discomfort is translated by baby to "hungry"). If she does latch but won't stay in you could try breast compressions. These stimulate further let downs from breasts that seem "empty".

I don't think it is a question of you not giving 100%, we all do what we can and bf is very hard for some women (myself included), it's just that you are maybe expecting it to 'work' automatically rather than be a system of supply and demand where your body has to learn what to make and when.

It's ok if you aren't really wanting to bf and go down the formula route as the breastfeeds you did give her are valuable still (every breastfeed counts). It's just that IF you want to breastfeed you need to think about how it works and trust that your body will make enough milk if there is nothing interfering in the process (like formula or pacifiers).

Your partner is being a Saint but he maybe doesn't understand how not waking you at night might impact breastfeeding. Again only IF you want to breastfeed it'd be beneficial to do some night feeds and your husband can be a hero by getting the pump if you feel you need to pump afterwards (although no need unless she doesn't latch well) burp her, and resettle her.

You need to do what works for you, as parenting isn't someone else's choice - no one should guilt to one way or the other.

 

[MeaganMackenz]

I did pump last night in the middle of the night, finally got my act together. Baby woke up but went back to bed after a diaper change so I pumped. A short pump ended up waking me up for a few hours, sadly I don't have the same go right back to bed gene my husband does lol.
Between the pump I did overnight and the one in the morning I got a 4oz bottle to put in the freezer. Yay.
I'm trying. Oddly enough when her and I went for a shower last night I gave her her unfavoured breast (nipple is inverted, painful to get out and takes a while to get going) the other side I got the squirt I was waiting for that I hadn't been able to get. So many the d&c helped me out a bit!! I'll be watching over the week to see if I see improvements

 

[MeaganMackenz]

Oh and as for latching and not really being hungry, she is really good with being very clear when she's just being fussy. Thankfully I have her signs down pat! She usually stops starts on it at the beginning until she gets a latch she likes (and I'm grateful for that, sometimes she latches and it hurts and it's like she knows and let's go to try again). Once she has it she won't let go or let up until I break her off for a burp or she falls asleep. If she's not hungry and just fussing she'll do this other barely suck thing and let it go a lot. Sounds pretty simple and I'm sure most babies are like that, I've just never had a baby who actually made it to a month! So some or this is new to me.