Why make such a big deal??

[Beltane]

I was a very " go with the flow" type of person the first time around. I hardly did any research, wasn't picky, didn't make a fuss and figured I would just figure it all out when the time came. My labor ended up being horrific. This time around, I read up, made a big deal and lapped up information like a sponge. Why? Because I don't want this labor to be anything like the last. I feel I'm SO much more equipped to take on the birthing process this time around.

 

[Logiebear]

With ym first baby I was a go with the flow person and I was glad I let the Drs and mws guide me. My friend ended up with post natal depression as she had this really rigid birth plan and fixed ideas on everything. When it didn't go to plan and she ended up with a crash section she suffered from pnd for years over it. I think saying about women who have almost have post traumatic stress is when they are too fixed in their ideas of what they want. Unfortunately things rarely go to plan in birthing and therefor more women should just be a little more relaxed and go with the flow.

I think too much knowledge can be a bad thing for women who are anxious anyway and it does make them worse.

Positive mental attitude is the only way to go really. Stay positive and know that your body will do what it wants xxx

 

[Sarah88]

I'm with you there. But I do have to admit I did do a hypnobirthing course just to help relieve any fears or anything for birth. Birth actually wasn't that bad, yeah it hurt but it doesn't last forever (mind you I had a 6hr active labour...).

I've never seen the point in making a fuss over something that you have to go through anyways. Whats a short time of pain for a lifetime of love?

 

[Logiebear]

Well I tell you my first labour started on the Sunday and on Tuesday at 9am they said I was in active labour. I didn't have her until 10.58pm so I had a very long labour and I was shattered but the second I held her it all faded away xxx

 

[tiggertea]

I think too much knowledge can be a bad thing for women who are anxious anyway and it does make them worse.

I can vouch for that one!!!

 

[Shifter]

I think it depends what you choose to focus on. If you educate yourself about the risks etc and focus on all the scary things then, yes, too much knowledge = bad. However, if you find out the risks AND how to prevent and treat those things when they happen then you are in an informed position should anything happen. Which makes it less scary at the time. Also if you learn about the probabilities then you realise just how unlikely those bad things are.

For instance 96% of all births progress without any complications. That's a very reassuring statistic. Also, once you learn that the less medical intervention you accept or plan for, the more smoothly the birth is likely to go etc. that's very soothing and empowering.

It's about taking the information that empowers you and treating it responsibly.

And yes, going into the experience with enough flexibility that you don't come out of it devastated if all does not go according to plan.

 

[jackiea85]

Totally agree with Shifter, it's totally what you focus on that can affect how you feel about labour. I'm glad I went to read up, my OH didn't and he was completely freaked out after the birth and confessed that he was really upset by it. When what happened did happen I was not as scared as I could have been as I knew it was not too uncommon and in most cases things turn out ok. However, reading loads of horror stories is really not good for anyone xx

 

[PixieKitty]

I've read up on everything, so I know what could happen, what could go wrong, what's normal and what to do in case of etc. but have no real expectations, or birth plan tbh.
So kind of in between I'd say, I know what I'd like but I know it almost never happens the way you want it and at the end of the day it's about getting bubs out safe and sound!
x

 

[marley2580]

96% of all births progress without any complications.

Actually only around half of all births are 'normal' unassisted births, the rest are inductions, forceps, c-sections etc.

I think saying about women who have almost have post traumatic stress is when they are too fixed in their ideas of what they want

Actually, PTSS seems to usually stem from the medical world riding roughshod over the feelings of women. Often women are ignored, not listened to, patronised and treated like a piece of meat - though I have to stress, there are are lot of midwives and doctors who are very good as well - when you go in knowing what to expect, you are more able to question the medics and fight for your opinion to be heard.

 

[Nutmeg]

It is possible to have a postitive attitude, a flexible birth plan and still be clued up on everything thats going on around you and within you. Its not a case of one or the other.

 

[shelleylu]

I had my son when I was 20, and had a horrific labour in all honesty. I was not massively prepared but I had been to classes, read a few books and knew my options during labour. However, when things decided to go a bit wonky, I felt unprepared, scared for my life and that of my unborn son.

Most of the problems were due to lack of care whilst in labour from the team in the maternity unit, which has now lead to a bit of distrust in the whole system if Im honest.

I am not naive enough to believe all are the same, but I have opted to have my LO at a different hospital, I shall go in there with a birth plan and an openmind and I shall hope for the best.

Yes it is one day of your life (more like 3 with my son!) but it can be incredibly traumatic. I suffered PTSD and a type of PND, mainly in the form of anxiety attacks. Only in the last 12 months have I been able to stop medication for it. These problems have been a major issue in my life for 6 years now. I was normal before - honest!!

Seriously, I hae been affected by the trauma of a bad labour, but I am ready to do it again.

I think a big problem is that you do only hear bad things about it. Maybe we need to read more positive labour stories??!! I am hoping to go through it this time and come out the other side sane. However long, or whatever happens during I dont mind as long as I am informed - and its a little bit late learning coping techniques when you are in agony screaming at your midwife..

The best plan is know your options, understand that things dont always go to plan, have an open mind and good support.

xxxxx

 

[Shifter]

96% of all births progress without any complications.

Actually only around half of all births are 'normal' unassisted births, the rest are inductions, forceps, c-sections etc.

Correction: 96% of births result in healthy mum and baby.

Normal, by its modern usage actually refers to births free from intervention including chemical pain relief. The rate of these births is very low in the UK, due to the heavy medicalisation of birthings over the last century or so.

The c-section rate is 24%, but WHO estimates that over 40% of c-sections performed in the UK are unnecessary, i.e. only 15% of all births should result in c-sections. If you know your rights and all the options you stand a much better chance of being able to avoid an unnecessary surgery.

 

[mummymadness]

I have never done brith plans etc , As you never know what is going to happen .
Ima prepared but dont research or stress .
Thsi is my first but even from my first have been a get on and do it type , I get nervous but thats about it . xx .

 

[Blah11]

I really enjoyed my labour looking back on it. It was sore at the time but it was such an amazing experience and as soon as your LO is born you are overwhelmed with joy. I researched pregnancy and birth a lot so I knew what was happening to me and it made me much more relaxed which I think helped my labour progress quite quickly.

 

[helen1234]

i'm on my 2nd baby but with a big gap,things have changed so much in the last 14 yrs theres nothing wrong with educating yourself. research shows that women who get the info about pregnancy, labour, and what happens with baby afterwards have a more natural and less invasine delivery thats what we were told in antenatal class and i think thats true.
i think knowledge is power and that enables you to just get on with it.
if you didnt worry at some point during a pregnancy or birth or ask questions to your friends family or healthcare proffesional i'd say would you recognise if something did go wrong as alot of stuff i've found out i wouldnt automatically think of, surely its better to be over cautious than not
xx

 

[jms895]

I think the main problem is the bloody horror storied people feel the need to force on you about it all the time. If I had not heard any of this, no probs, trying to be calm but its hard when people keep asking if you are nervous and ha ha wait till you feel this and the other etc...... I am excited!!

 

[jms895]

Oh and I think you get what you ask for..... if you go in thinking it will be a bloody horror situation, it will be. If you are excited, prepared and want to savour it, most likely you will x

 

[Dukechick]

I'm researching this for many different reasons......

First of all, it's the first time I'm about to push out a human being through my vagina!!

Second - Sometimes I can't even take a shit without almost crying!!

Third - I have a bleeding disorder, so I have a few other reasons to do research......