Will co-sleeping help?

[bky]

I hadn't intended to co-sleep but am now really considering it.
Basically my baby will rarely sleep for more than 20 minutes if not being held.
If being held she'll get in some 1+ hour naps during the day and usually once a day a 3+ hour nap.
So far in her life she's slept in her bed (Ambynest) for 2 4 hour stretches right before a growth spurt and 1 5 hour stretch right after. Otherwise someone needs to be holding her. We've tried other sleeping surfaces as well with the same results. She'll sleep about 20 minutes and wake up.
I tried having her in our bed out of frustration, but she got rolled out . OH is fairly hesitant to co-sleep at all as he has known people who co-slept incorrectly and killed their baby.
So I'm pretty much up all night and often dangerously dozing on the couch when I feed (which is what I spend most of the time doing).
I was thinking a bed guard rail? I don't think I'd roll onto her at all, but I'm still not really comfortable with the idea. Maybe a snuggle nest would be better? I just need to do something.

 

[ellie]

Aww!
it's a hard place to be. Our LO was a bit like this at the beginning. I used to find myself falling asleep slumped over him while feeding and realised that this (like falling asleep on the couch...) was more dangerous. So we started co sleeping - pushed his crib against my side of hte bed so he was between me and it. Now he's pushed OH out completely and we have a bed guard the other side. His new cotbed is coming though!
It really saved my sanity, I must admit, I was so so knackered. Oh wasn't ever very keen and slept in teh spare room whenever he could (and is still there till we get LO in his new cotbed), tbh I didnt feel that comfy with the 3 of us in there. I really loved cuddling up with LO at night and it was sooo much easier, just latch him on and doze back off! Now he's a terrible wriggler / roller around the bed, so Ive got no room

Have a read around about how to do it safely and comfortably and see what you think. sorry dont have any helpful links to hand though! the key is doing it 'correctly' as you say.

 

[BabyHaines]

Co-sleeping (providing it's done correctly) is amazing.
You need to just take a step back and look at the situation....
Firstly, your baby is soooo young. She still won't realise she's seperate from you for about another 6 weeks. She's spent the last 40+ weeks inside you, being kept cosy, fed and secure before being bought into the big wide world, so she's bound to want to be near you.
Secondly, it seems the Western world has yet again decided it knows best and thinks babies should be put into their own beds, when the whole rest of the world co-sleep as the norm.
Thirdly, the old cot-death stats that condemned co-sleeping (these stats are no longer used as they weren't a correct re-presentation) were based on one area, where there was a high level of over-crowding and alcohol & drug abuse and included parents that accidently fell asleep on sofas etc, which is NOT co-sleeping.

If you are tired and are getting up to feed, the danger lies in those middle of the night feeds where you are exhausted & struggling to stay awake.
Are you breastfeeding? If you are, then why not try an learn to BF lying down? You can get yourself cosy (pillows & covers well away from lo's head) and lay on your side. Place lo at bust level & encourage her to lay on her side and latch on. It may take a little practise, but I promise it's amazing when you get it!!

Being overtired is awful. Everything will seem harder & you are more likely to struggle. Please, please look into either safely co-sleeping or get someone to have lo for a few hours where poss so you can get some shut eye. I really can't stress enough how dangerous falling asleep on the sofa with lo can be.

Sorry, I hope I haven't ranted on too much....!!
Just remember - it's natural & wonderful for her to want to be with you, you are her mummy.

Oh, and I always recommend this book, but it's fab; 'Three in a Bed' by Deborah Jackson. It's well worth a read & may put your hubbys mind at ease.


Xxxx

 

[BabyHaines]

And just to add. Hubby and I have kingsize bed & George sleeps inbetween us both.
I also swear that co-sleeping salvaged my breastfeeding

Good luck sweetie. Feel free to ask any other q's you may have, and congratulations BTW xxxx

 

[ANiceCuppaTea]

I co-slept with all three of mine, and as BabyHaines above explained, lying down breastfeeding. I put a bed guard on my side of the bed, then a firm pillow, then a blanket over that and under me and the baby slept in the little 'nest' between me and the bed guard.
As for rolling over onto your child and smothering him/her, what utter nonsense! Unless, of course, you were drunk or stoned. Then, yes, it would indeed be possible.
(I'll also note my Mother co-slept with ME, way back in '58!)

Good luck, and please, listen to your inner reason, it knows what's best, usually, for YOUR child in YOUR circumstances. But please, I agree with those above, falling asleep on the couch is dangerous for you both!

 

[Kota]

Haines has said it all perfectly!

Co sleeping has worked for us since P was about 5wks old, it saved BF'ing and being able to just latch him on and go back to sleep is the best! My OH is still in the bed with us and theres never been a problem, even when the 3 of us had to share a double bed while staying with family! P sleeps from 8ish through till 8am waking quickly for a feed at about 10pm and again around 5am. however I know that if I tried putting him in his own bed he'd be waking every hr.

He used to just sleep in the crook of my arm using either my upper arm or boob as a pillow. it just wasn't possible for me to roll over onto him like this. Now he's bigger we have a bed guard rail and he sleeps on the outer edge, us both on our sides facing each other and nose to nipple, if he's hungry during the night he helps himself!

As long as you haven't been drinking/taking drugs or excessively tired there is nothing unsafe about it, and its a MILLION times safer then falling asleep on the couch/sofa while doing the night feeds!