will it ever end????

[nievesmama]

hi its taken me a while to get the nerve up to write this as am generally a very private person.
ive been living over a yr of hell and cant see the light at the end of the tunnel. i am a single mum to 3 lovely children but have been having a lot of problems with the father of my 7 mth old.
the probs started as i wouldnt allow him to move in as he had given his job up and had no intention of looking for work. to be honest we had not been together very long my daughter was not planned and i had been careful. i was constantly threatened and harrassed thru my pregnancy he even told me to get rid of her.
he wasnt there when i had her and demanded to take her out to `show her off` at a day old when i said no.....if his friends wanted to see her they could come to my house, he got nasty.
within a wk i had solicitor letter demanding contact which my solicitors refused. in this time i also had to call poloce as he threatened to abduct her so my house was alarmed and domestic violence and social services were involved.
i had constant threatening and abusive txts and phonecalls resulting in me having to change my no. i was shouted at and confronted in the street by him and his friends.
i had to flee with my children, leaving their friends and the only home they knew and had to lie to people about where we were to keep us safe.
this worked for a while. i had a letter thru my solicitors stating i said he could have contact at 6 mths (a lie) and demanding my addy. i had pics taken from my facebook and given to him by a so called friend. he even went into my solicitors and threatened the secretary as my solicitor would not see him.
a couple wks ago a friend told me that he had named me and my baby on a fb group. i unblocked him to see wat he had put and it was awful. he had also got hold of my sisters addy and put that on as well... thankfully she has moved from there. he was abusive towards me and everything was lies against me. so yet again police were called.
but the posts got worse on the group...he even named my older daughter and put details about her on there that only few people knew about. and the abuse towards me scared me.
he knows where i am and has people looking for me, but i refuse to move again. just make do with being extra careful and always carry an alarm.
he has been made to remove all the abuse which is a good thing.
im on edge all the time, and trust is a major issue for me...dont know who i can anymore! im being strong for my babies but keeping the smile on all the time is hard.
and being branded an unfit mother to anyone that will give him an ear is hurtful. i thank the stars he not on her birth cert.
i just want it to end, i want my life back and to be able to live without fear.
im so sorry for rambling on...... but i admit it feels better to have written it down!!!!!
and thanks to my sister. for being there to listen to me. and i hope you pleased i finally put a post on here lol. love ya tons

 

[Welshcob]

OMG. you are just a bit further down the route where I think I am heading. FOB was abusive to me for 4.5 yrs to a greater or lesser extent. We got PG - planned and he left. Has told police I have been abusing him for 4.5 years! Which is an utter lie. Hes painting me to be an unfit mom. I am thinking of moving and also changing my name. I don't want him to find me. If he finds me before the baby comes, there will be no peace not ever. He will never leave me be and will fight me at every step. I cannot fight , I just want to run and hide. I worry that he will get access and that I won't be able to stop it or that I won't be able to insist it be supervised at all times!! It really has to be! I am so afraid he will get un supervised access because I know he will verbally abuse and torture the child just to get at me. Again hes already painting me an unfit mother. Grooming the authorities so that it strengthens his next attack on me! I would leave the country if I could, but I won't go where there is no support.
I sense how you feel and I just wonder if you could move again and change your name!
hugs and prayers to you

 

[nievesmama]

hi
ive seen some of your posts and i feel for you. my pregnancy was a nightmare because of the harrassment so i can only imagine what it must be like for you. my daughter was smaller birth weight than other 2 which they put down to me being so stressed.
moving was the best thing i did and if it wasnt for social services input it wouldnt have happened.
i cant move again as my 12 yr old daughter is settled at new school and my 5yr old starts in sept. they are happy for first time in mths and i cant uproot them again. the police are kept updated on everything so they know he knows what area im in. and i think he got into a spot of bother with them due to the facebook abuse.
my advice to you would be to get as much support that you can. keep the police notifiede. if your that scared see if they can get the bobby van to come round and alarm your windows and fit security locks for you. i had them come and do that in my old house as he threatened to abduct her and do me in.
also speak to social services theyve been fab for me along with the domestic violence unit.
if you ever need to chat im here.

 

[Eoz]

Babe I'm always here for you.just wish I was closer xxxxxxxxxx Well done on your first thread xxxxx

 

[nievesmama]

awwwww hun thanx. i wish we were nearer to but just having you there helps. loves you and ady loads xxxxx took me long enough to put a thread on but pleased i finally did!!!

 

[babystar]