Won't do a tubal???

[Madwolf3]

Ok, so I'm pregnant with my second child. I'll turn 21 just before he's born, and I want my tubes tied when the OB does a c-section (unless I choose a VBAC). My doctor says I can't have it done because you have to sign the consent form 30 days prior to the procedure, and I turn 21 only 2 WEEKS before my c-section. Does that seem ridiculous that he won't do it? I don't know if it's just HIS policy, or if it's the hospital's policy. But I feel like throwing a fit about it. PLEASE understand- I KNOW what I'm doing. I know the potential consequences of doing this so young. I'm aware of the difficulties of reversing it later. We only want 2 kids, and it'd be VERY financially irresponsible to have another kid in AT LEAST the next 5 years or more because we can barely afford the ones we have. AND I'm high-risk, every pregnancy, and I don't want to put my body through all this again. We'll have our two, that's enough for me. YES we can have hubby fixed- BUT my health insurance will cover the procedure if I do it, whereas my husband doesn't have health insurance so we'll have to somehow pay for it out of pocket, AND we'll still have to try to be careful until we're sure the vasectomy took. ARGH! Sorry, I know this is random.

 

[Madwolf3]

No responses?

 

[Sarah88]

Thats all I got. Hopefully you can whinge enough for him to do it for u. I don't c why they'd need 30days! Any chance u could just sign it now?

 

[sleepinbeauty]

that seems nuts. I don't know about the policies or anythign but if you know that's what you want to do..it's your body for god's sake...

 

[Vickie]

That's ridiculous that he won't do it!

 

[Madwolf3]

Yeah I have to be 21 to even sign. You'd think my doctor would jump at the chance to snip a young mother right (I know, not funny, but true)? I'm wondering... if maybe I can write out a letter stating that I'm fully aware of the decision I'm making, and am doing so against the doctor's suggestions... Then maybe they'll let me do it? I know they're worried about girls coming back later saying their doctor pressured them into doing it too soon, which is why the policy is there. But how could I blame HIM for doing what I WANT? ARGH! I don't know how to even find out WHO'S policy it is! If it's the hospital's policy then I'm pretty well out of luck. I could always go back two weeks after my c-section, but I don't want to get cut open again! Even if it IS a smaller incision!

 

[Sarah88]

It would be so much easier for them to do it whilst doing the c-section. Perhaps if you do try writing the letter then it might help. That way it gets the doc off the hook

 

[tinytoes]

you're still very young.
A friend of mine had the same procedure very young and then at 35 changed her mind....she had to go through all sorts of operations adn tehn IVF to get pregnant and it was very expensive and painful for her.I guess the hospital is avoiding this type of situation.

Maybe use birth control for a few years just to be 100% sure.

 

[Madwolf3]

I know exactly what you're saying, but my pregnancies are so high risk and stressful that I really honestly don't want to put myself through this again. The biggest issue is that if I were to have my tubes tied, and later wanted more babies, then if I could AFFORD to have it reversed, and was willing to go through all that, I'd know I was able to do it all over again, you know? And yeah, whoever's policy it is is wanting to avoid someone coming back and saying "they forced me into it! I wasn't really ready to have my tubes tied"! That's what they're worried about. ARGH I don't know what to do about it. Besides, there's even more to it- I have a bicornuate uterus AND endometriosis (endo is a hereditary issue, I got a double-whammy), so it's not likely that by 35 I'll even have a uterus anyway. Every women in my family (mother's side) has had to have a hysterectomy usually by late 20s, a couple made it to early-mid 30s. AND to top all that off? I don't know if I can AFFORD birth control for the next few years! Does that make sense?

you're still very young.
A friend of mine had the same procedure very young and then at 35 changed her mind....she had to go through all sorts of operations adn tehn IVF to get pregnant and it was very expensive and painful for her.I guess the hospital is avoiding this type of situation.

Maybe use birth control for a few years just to be 100% sure.

 

[vicky]

could your mum not sign it on behalf of you hun

 

[Carley]

could your mum not sign it on behalf of you hun

That would be an good idea. Maybe ask a Lawyer?

I understand your reasoning. I'm very high risk and requesting a tubal done after my next pregnancy.

 

[abigail]

It's possible he's afraid of a future lawsuit. Doctors have been sued in the past when women got their tubes tied at a young age and then regretted it later.

Not saying you would, but that might be his rationale. I would get a second opinion, if I were you. And a third, if needed.

 

[Carley]

I think if a women decides to get a tubal without force then the doctor should not be sued... I hate when women do that...

 

[Madwolf3]

could your mum not sign it on behalf of you hun

I'm not sure, but my mom lives a good 1200 miles away, so it's not an option. I thought about asking if my husband could sign- he's 23. I'm planning to do all the paperwork to list him as my Power of Attorney anyway, so I don't see why not? I don't know. I know they're worried about being sued- that's why I was thinking I could write out a statement saying that I'm making the decision against his recommendation and knowing full well what the potential consequences are....? Maybe that'd work.

 

[lifeguard]

If you're really intent on it find a different doctor. Different doctor's do have the ability to do things differently. Some feel personally about some things & have the right (it seems) to do what they think is right. If he doesn't think it's right he'll use whatever justification he needs to bar doing it.

My sister in law wanted hers done immediately after her child when she was young & now she is EXTREMELY happy the doctor refused to do it due to her age. Why not have your hubby do it? (sorry if I'm making an assumption) but it is easier for men.

 

[mickey]

besides that it is your personal decision to do it at your age, I can understand the doc is refusing to do it! he has to stick to the law as otherwise he risks to loose his licence to practise

 

[anita665]

I think if a women decides to get a tubal without force then the doctor should not be sued... I hate when women do that...

I completely agree - nobody wants to take responsibility for their own actions anymore!!

 

[Ann-Marie]

I asked about sterilisation after this pregnancy, and the policy here is that they won;t do until 6 months after you've had your last baby... same for a vasectomy. Just in case anything (god forbid) happens with the baby. My doctor recommended the Mirena Coil, which has the same success rate as having your tubes tied. Definetely what I'm going for

 

[Madwolf3]

We will have hubby done if I can't have my tubes tied- the main issue with ME wanting to do it is because my insurance will cover the entire procedure, but my husband doesn't have insurance so we'd have to pay out of pocket! AND with men we can't be SURE that it worked until they do a semen test 3 to 6 months after fixing him. And with MY luck, I'll get pregnant again that way, lol!

If you're really intent on it find a different doctor. Different doctor's do have the ability to do things differently. Some feel personally about some things & have the right (it seems) to do what they think is right. If he doesn't think it's right he'll use whatever justification he needs to bar doing it.

My sister in law wanted hers done immediately after her child when she was young & now she is EXTREMELY happy the doctor refused to do it due to her age. Why not have your hubby do it? (sorry if I'm making an assumption) but it is easier for men.

 

[Madwolf3]

It's not a law at all- it's a private policy. And I actually found out that it's my insurance's policy! My doctor didn't feel the need to tell me who's policy it was at the time! Now that I know, I'm going to try to talk to my insurance to see if I can get around the policy, since I'm only missing the cut-off by two weeks anyway!

besides that it is your personal decision to do it at your age, I can understand the doc is refusing to do it! he has to stick to the law as otherwise he risks to loose his licence to practise