Work and Pregnancy :(

[Anaconda]

Maybe a few days ago some of you remember my post about my second trimester starting off bad...having to do with internal bleeding by the gestational sac and work giving me a hard time.

I need some advice/help/guidance/and what ever else you ladies can give.

A little over a month ago I got hired to work at Tim Hortons. After 2 other Tim Hortons calling me being interested in me and then my telling them I was pregnant, they "no longer had any positions available." So when this one called I didn't say anything. I didn't legally anyways and I don't think my being pregnant should be a factor in my qualification.

So after my 11 week scan I decided to tell my boss. At first she seemed happy for me and she told me to take it easy.

And then last Friday we find out that my 11 week scan shows a patch of blood outside the gestational sac. Naturally I freak out and my doctor orders no lifting. I can't even lift my 20 month old.

Today I handed in my doctors note and my boss was nothing but rude and hurtful. She said, "What am I supposed to do? I can't risk having you working." Over and over she asked what she was supposed to do and that she can't risk anything. Her tone was rude and she did not sound like she cared for my well being at all. On top of that the morning supervisor is nothing but mean to me. I work all night long. 9 hours. Sometimes I forget to do something, but mostly it's because I didn't know I was supposed to say, put out the croutons for the french onion soup. Every single day in front of everyone she is constantly telling me what I'm doing wrong, and why something wasn't done. It's humiliating and it leaves me leaving work in tears.

When no one knew I was pregnant I was fine. I enjoyed going to work. Ever since I told them I literally leave work every morning crying. And the worst part is my boss isn't openly discriminating against my pregnancy. She beats around it which is worse because there isn't much I can do about it.

I keep tossing the idea of just not showing up tonight, basically telling her to screw off, I'm done. I'm stressed, hurt, and fed up of this work place. I feel like I shouldn't have to put up with that kind of B/S when I'm stressed as it is about the well being of my unborn child.

My mom says it's my choice whether I show up or not. At this point I don't care if I leave on bad terms. Even if I gave a 2 week notice I would never put them as a reference. They're just horrible people.

 

[Anaconda]

OMG so sorry for the long post! I just needed to get everything out. I'm really stumped as what to do tonight.



(Money isn't an issue right now, I mean it'll be harder, but not impossible)

 

[mmMlm]

Sorry to hear that they are so horrible
Can you ask to have a talk with your boss? Just tell her straight up that you are doing all of your duties, and would like to be treated with more respect....

 

[Anaconda]

I"ve tried talking to her but she's also giving me a hard time :/ She says I'm a risk and she can't have that... yada yada yada.

My husband is convincing me to just not go. He hates seeing me so upset every morning and he's mad I'm this stressed out while carrying his child. I'm giving in little by little, but at the same time I'm going to feel huge guilt if I just don't show up, you know? But at the same time, I'm dreading going into work. Dreading it so much I need to be in work in 4 hours and I've only slept 1 hour because I've been crying all day

I'm not the type of person to ever let anyone down. But I've never been treated this badly. It's making me do things I would never ever do... Ugh!

 

[MamaLa]

I would go in, and in the AM talk to the manager and offer to put in your two weeks if your such a risk. No one likes working overnight, and especially with you being pregnant they should appreciate your efforts and since you're nee they should give you gentle reminders if you forgot to do something not jump down your throat. Its not a positive environment for you, and little one especially if you are spending all day crying.

 

[stellaluna431]

Why not call them and tell them you won't be in and quit over the phone? Then at least they can try to find someone I cover your shift so someone doesn't have to stay and work a double. Sorry they're treating you like this

 

[MissyLissy]

Can you speak to someone in HR? I'm a supervisor...it's hard dealing with empty shifts, filling people last minute, dealing with accommodations. Really hard, really stressful. But in no way could I (or would I) treat an employee with a doctor's ordered restriction the way your supervisor is treating you. I'd either go to HR or her supervisor.

That being said, I don't think its cool just to not show up. At least call if you just can't put in the full two weeks. Someone will have to stay and fill that shift last minute. Many people will be stressed trying to cover you. Just my two cents from the other side of supervisor land.

 

[kitty_el]

I would call them & say you are not coming in & you are not returning to work. Life is far too short to be miserable/stressed especially when you're pregnant.
Good luck whatever you decide xx

 

[the why bird]

I'm probably too late since you posted this hours ago...

but I would call in sick for a couple of days, take some rest, have a good cry, and use that time to decide what you want to do. Figure out if you can stand to work your two weeks notice or if it's worth not doing (even if you don't plan to give them as a reference, you will some day have to explain what you were doing during this period of your life on a job application). Decide if you want to keep the job and fight for your better treatment in the work place.

Your health - mental health included - is more important than the job and it's wonderful that you can afford to quit. But if it's an option, I'd take a day or two to calm down, talk with your family, and make a decision when you feel a bit stronger and more rested.

 

[Kittycat155]

Sadly they have you right where they want you-on the verge of quitting. They know if they fire you you may fight on ground of pregnancy/wrongful termination. I personally would play back and not show up on the busiest shift you have coming up. Or if your wanting to fight then transfer to another location and REALLY talk to HR.

I never say not showing up is a good thing but really for what they are doing it is.

 

[shinona]

Not sure how things work where you are (sorry, phone doesn't show me location) but if you were in the UK I would be telling you to raise a grievance with HR immediately. Your supervisor is absolutely discriminating against you because of your pregnancy and even if you resign, there's nothing to stop her doing it to someone else in the future who maybe can't afford to leave.
Hope.you are ok xx

 

[Anaconda]

Hey ladies, so I didn't end up going in :/ I feel bad but at the same time why should I show them consideration when they've shown me absolutely nothing? I was so stressed last night I made myself so sick. And still am this morning thinking about having to eventually deal with this women today (obviously she's going to phone me at some point). I'm not a very confrontational person so I have no idea how I'm going to handle the phone call

I can see why some people say not showing up for work is unprofessional, and I agree what I did looks so unprofessional, but I just couldn't stand going another morning crying. Maybe this will come back and bite me in the a** but in all honestly, I rather have that then possibly loose my baby over work. Just my perspective anyways. I've only worked there for a month. If I had worked there longer I'd be more concerned adding them as a reference, but a month? Nah.

On the bright side I have an ultrasound today... fingers crossed all this B/S didn't cause any more problems for me.

 

[Kittycat155]

I would not answer her call. I would call them on my own time and tell them to mail me my last check and if they say no ask when I can come pick it up. There is nothing to talk about. That is what I did with the only job I pulled this on. They screwed me pretty bad first so at the end of it all I did not show up on a very nice Saturday. They were PACKED as expected and only 1 person was working.

 

[Anaconda]

Yeah, I've told my mom to ignore any call from "Tim Hortons." I just don't want to deal with them today. I'm just so fed up.

 

[Anaconda]

Guys guess what happened....!

I just got off the phone with my boss... the caller ID wasn't "Tim Hortons" like it usually did so I had no idea it was really her. The conversation that followed left me in awe.

She asked if everything was alright because she heard I called in sick last night (when I didn't, I just didn't show up). I said I've been sick all week since hearing the news of my last ultrasound. I continued to explain to her what the news was and this is what she said... For your safety and health and peace of mind take the rest of the week off. Get a form from your doctor explaining what you can and cannot do that way I can accommodate. When you feel ready return to work and we'll figure something out for you so that you can still work but safely.

I'm in shock!

She has not had that attitude towards me at all, and for her to out of the blue suddenly be concerned about me threw me off guard.

I couldn't tell her I was quieting. How could I? She suddenly wants to make sure I can work but do so safely.

So I guess I still have a job? I told her how appreciative I was for letting me take some time to myself. I told her I'll let her know Friday when I can be back in (I see my doctor with today's ultrasound results on Friday).

 

[TryinFor1]

Lol sounds like she might have some problems either keeping people hired or with people not wanting to work there in general (like having problems hiring in the first place), so she is now being nice to keep you on. My friends job was the same exact way because nobody wanted to work there anyway, so they did whatever to keep their workers on.

Well, congratulations I guess? Lol. You can just try it out for the time being and if things still don't work, then quit.

 

[RinnaRoo]

I think that maybe this all turned out to be a little blessing. You not showing probably set off a light in her head. Maybe this was her sign to be a little more caring and understanding, sorry that you had to be her example.
I would continue to work and save up extra money. Good luck with everything

 

[Anaconda]

Yeah, I'm going to see how everything goes when I go back. Maybe my not showing up did ding that light bulb. The extra money will be nice, but if things get worse I will not stand for it and will leave. I'm willing to give them a second chance considering the phone call today.

 

[Gingerspice]

To be fair, she was asking before 'what am I meant to do'. She was clearly clueless with knowing what limitations you had been advised. I mean she should have explained that she needs to know what may be suitable and perhaps alter your role in the meantime. It sounds like she was frantic with usual running and came across as brash when really she just hadn't had time to think about alternative role/what aspects were acceptable for you, so ended up being rude and short.

I'm not excusing her behaviour but it sounds like she and you have a way forward, and she will be able to find out from your drs guidance, what is suggested.

Tbh, if things hadn't got better/don't improve then I'd be tempted to ask dr to sign you off on sickness. From stress if nothing else......