working mom

[eew1471]

Is anyone else married and pregnant that provides the main income for the family? I'm just looking for anyone to talk to... really stressed out about all the responsibility!

Currently I have the education and job that provides the main support for myself and my husband. He has a good job that pays most of his bills which leaves me with house, power, water, groceries, and spending money for out to eat and gas... along with anything extra that comes up! I have been trying to cut down on what we spend (which is always way more than we make) and its really stressing me out! Now I also have to worry about the baby we are fixing to have. Is anyone else in my position?

 

[Literati_Love]

I am also the major breadwinner of the family and feel quite stressed that we won't be able to survive when I am on mat leave. I am trying to save as much $ as possible before the baby comes to help provide a bit of a buffer.

 

[eew1471]

I'm glad I'm not alone in the stress! I have been trying to save this whole time but our spending has become a problem for me... we have a good stable home and lifestyle as long as I have my paycheck coming in. I hope that I haven't gotten my husband too spoilt with the ability to buy almost what ever he wants without question if we can afford it! I hate telling him no but I am sick of spending into my savings every week. I really don't think he has a clue as to how much it actually takes us to get by every week and be comfortable. I am stressed and have found myself snapping on him, although I always play it off as "I don't feel good", when in reality I am stressed about money. He hates talking about "money", probably because he really doesn't have any... (Not trying to be mean about the situation because I didn't marry him for a paycheck). I have always taken care of myself (just myself for years now), but now I feel like I will be responsible for 3 people instead of 1.

How do you cope with the stress and not get angry? Better yet, how do I approach my hubby with a spending plan that will not offend him?

 

[bcos21]

I am in the same situation. My husband was out of work for a year and a half so I have been paying all of the bills. He started working now but it's barely above minimum wage and I am stressed out about my maternity leave. (It doesn't help that I hate my job...) now he is leaving this job for one of the same pay but that suits him better and all he wants to do is quit now but I am insisting he work up until the new job starts. This drives me nuts because he's just had a year and a half to sit at the house! I would love to take some time off but since I pay all the bills and our health insurance, I have to deal with it. I love him to death, but at the end of my day when my feet hurt and he makes a fuss about rubbing them, I want to toss him out the window LOL.
I think since we love them so much it makes it all the more difficult.

The other day he asked me how much the some of the bills were. He doesn't know because he's never paid...

I have shown him the paper copy of every single bill in preparation for my maternity leave so that he knows, down to the penny, just how much we need to get through it since I will have no paid maternity leave and I refuse to be so stressed about money that I cannot enjoy our baby. This budget, where we are saving the exact amount of money we need, has really been useful. Now we are both working towards a goal.

I know it's tough and pregnancy hormones don't make it any easier.

 

[GrowingMum]

I remember seeing this when it was first posted but I didn't have time to respond. Although my dh gets paid, he is a student and gets pesnuts. I work (but for less than I should make because the business i work for is struggling) I make more than DH but we need both of our incomes to get by and money is a real stress for us. I want nothing more than to be at home with my baby, but we just can't afford it. I was content with my job before but not so much now as I think about having to be there instead of with my baby all day. It is difficult, but we do what we have to do for our families.

 

[vtjess423]

I'm in a similar situation execpt that I have the added one of already having my son as well. I'm the major bread winner though my DH does work. His salary is just much less than mine and we could never survive on his alone. My biggest worry right now is how we are going to afford to pay for daycare for this new lo. We are basically living pay check to pay check right now and with that added cost it's going to make it worse. I'm trying to save money but its very tough. I really need to sit down and make a budget for us and make sure we stick to it. Infant day care costs are extremely high so it's going to be a rough few years. We will probably have to cut back on some non-necessities like cable and internet just to make ends meet unfortunately. So believe me I can totally feel you on the stress from money issues. Luckily I will have paid maternity leave so at least I don't have that worry on top of it. But the stress is there and I'm just hoping that I can start saving and have a nice cushion when the baby is born in January! Good Luck to you!!