Worried about getting too old

[Daisy Delayne]

Okay so I'm only 27 now, but I just got out of school, am about $30,000 in debt, need to pay that off, have just started the first job in my field and want to get plenty of experience before having a baby...I've always wanted to have all my kids before thirty but that's not possible anymore. After doing the math I know I might be well into my thirties before we can afford it, and I want to have a few children. I'm just wondering, is anyone else worried about being too old once having a baby is finally possible? Or has anyone waited and regretted it or waited and been glad that they did?

 

[Pops]

My OH is 32 in a few months and he wishes we had done it sooner. I am the same age as you. He doesn't want to be too much older before number 1 comes along as he doesn't want him to be knocking 40 and possibly having a baby if things take more time than we hope.

It is for purely personal reasons though, we aren't worried about the "will be able to" factor any more than we would be if he was 21, it just that we wanted to be relatively young parents.

I hope the others can help you more

xxx

 

[Jenren]

Im 28 in 2 weeks and will be ttc number one in 3 months, Yes i am worried about getting older. I want more than 1 chld and just realised when my first baby is 10 ill be 38.
I want at least a 3 yr gap betweem them. Just wished my other half was ready years ago like me.

 

[welshlass]

1

 

[carla15x]

I've never wanted to be an older mum but even now if I were pregnant I'd be near 30 when my child is 10 = \

My mum was young when she had me but my dad was older and now while my mum is still out and about my dad isn't. I also have a brother as he's only 10 and still at home.

 

[welshlass]

1

 

[bunnyg82]

When I was a lot younger I thought I wanted kids at 21, but then 21 came and went and I wasn't that bothered - I have worried a little bit that now I am 26 I am heading towards my 30s and if it takes a long long time to conceive then I will be a lot older than I wanted to be. But in all reality, whenever it happened, even if I was reaching late 30s I think I would just be happy to have a child.

I think that the main thing is that you are happy and healthy, noone can say what the right age is for you x

Que Sera, Sera xx

 

[carla15x]

Oooh I didn't mean to call anybody old
= [

But yeah I see how it has come across . . .
I hope I haven't offended anyone else = \

 

[Cinnamon]

I think it's still a good age although you can be just as responsible when you're younger, that little bit more of general experience is what you have and can make use of (Of course there are always exceptions of very mature youths and very daydreaming people in their 30's!!). Go for it!! xxx

 

[lozzy21]

I dont think you post called any one old carla, you were mearly using the wording that the OP used. Actualy having a child over 30, the medical staff class you as an older mum.

My mam was an old mam when she had my brother at 39. The only thing she said was affected were her energy levels. She was way more tired than when she had me at 20.

 

[eclipse]

I'm 33 and wanting to have #2 asap because I'm worried about age and potential complications. I will be honest about that. However, I'm really glad I waited, I have been able to give Liam much much more than if I had had him younger.

 

[codegirl]

I just had my first and I'm 36. I'm glad I waited, I've got a stable job, house, great relationship. I don't think it's too late for me to have one or two more either, although I'll want them pretty close together

 

[coccyx]

I must be ancient, I am 42!!!!. Wouldn't get to hung up on your age. Can't change it. I have a 10 year old , 7 year old , 2 1/2 year old and a 1year old yesterday!
We were late to the baby game. Never been an issue for us, just other people. They moan when you are young, moan when you are old.
Good luck

 

[welshlass]

1

 

[Tam]

Okay so I'm only 27 now, but I just got out of school, am about $30,000 in debt, need to pay that off, have just started the first job in my field and want to get plenty of experience before having a baby...I've always wanted to have all my kids before thirty but that's not possible anymore. After doing the math I know I might be well into my thirties before we can afford it, and I want to have a few children. I'm just wondering, is anyone else worried about being too old once having a baby is finally possible? Or has anyone waited and regretted it or waited and been glad that they did?

I am 32 and on my 3rd, but in an ideal world we would like another 2, although we have a wedding planned for the end of 2011, so we will be waiting after this LO until atleast we are married.

A couple of friends of ours are 34/35 and are only just starting TTC and they would like atleast 2.

I think nowadays it is very common for couples to start TTC in their 30's now hun, so I really wouldn't worry, you certainly will not be alone. x

 

[poppy]

I don't think late 20s/early 30s is too old at all - there are people in their 40s and even 50s having kids nowadays. I understand your concerns though, you want to be a young mum. I think (possibly because I am 31!) that early 30s still qualifies as youngish (wishful thinking maybe!!!). I got pregnant when I was 30 and gave birth to my son when I had just turned 31. I would like, if I can and if hubbie agrees, to have two more children.

I think the perspective on what is young and old is different now that women are having careers etc. In our grandparents' day and to an extent in our parents' day, women often had their first child quite young, early 20s for example. Nowadays, a lot of women go into further education and then work their way up the career ladder, travel etc etc before being ready for children. So, I think late 20s/early 30s is becoming the norm in this group of women for having children. I wouldn't worry too much. I do think that after 35 you do have to consider things like declining fertility and things like that (although fertility rates vary woman to woman - you can get a woman in her early 40s with lots of healthy eggs and another woman in her early 30s with declining healthy egg supply, but in general I mean). I think being in your late 20s/early 30s is still relatively young to be worrying about being too old to have a baby.

I think it is all down to individual circumstances.

I think I have rambled a bit! I hope my post makes sense!

 

[morri]

I think too 30 + is not such an extraordinary age nowadays. I don't think you should be too worried about that . I think too that every age has pro and cons so thats another point which you can vascillate about .

 

[kate.m.]

My Mum was 33 when she had me (her first). She had another at 37 and another at 41. I have a fantastic relationship with my mum too- so dont worry about anything like that (Ive heard some ppl say "i want to be a young mum, so i have a better relationship with my children" Thats not necessarily how it works!). She says that she was much older than all the other Mums on the ward; in 1983, 33 was old 4 ur 1st! lol! but nowadays, id say its about average!

 

[SmileyShazza]

I am 35 in August and this is one of the reasons I want to start trying now as I do worry about being older when trying and the effects it may have on my body. Especially as we would like two children which means having them quite close together to try and squeeze them in so to speak

To be honest though I wouldn’t have it any other way, had I have met my husband when I was younger then I probably would have already had children by now but we didn’t meet until I was almost 31. Then of course we dated for a while before getting engaged and then married in October last year. I have always said I didn’t want to have children until I was married, not that I have anything against people who do but personally I am quite traditional in that sense and so is my husband.

I certainly wasn’t going to feel pressured into starting a family until I was sure the person I was with was the person I really wanted to bring a child into the world with just because of my age. I feel like my age has crept up on me a bit though I must admit!

I am just keeping everything crossed that everything works down there and that we don’t find we have any problems with conceiving.

 

[inertia63]

My friend from school who had her 1st child at 15, asked me on Facebook last year (when I was 24) was I not ever planning to have children, because I'd not had any yet. She implied that if you don't have any by 24, then you're probably never going to. Bonkers.