Would like to give birth naturally, but absolutely terrified!! Advice needed please!!

[AJRSN86]

Hi!!
I'm new to this site, I've been desperately looking for somewhere I can get some advice.
I'm 30 weeks pregnant with my third baby. With my first, I really didn't know what to expect, so I just took everything as it came, however I ended up being in labour for 42 hours in total, from first milder contraction to actually pushing her out. Because I had no idea what labour felt like and the hospital is 30 minutes from my house I went to the hospital twice in the time I was in labour, the first time I went I was sent home at only 1.5cm dilated, the second time I went in I was 2cm, this was 6 hours later! Then they gave me a shot of demerol and told me to walk around the hospital, so I did, by the time I was 4cm I was absolutely shattered, so I opted for an epidural and it was a breeze after that, I pushed for 20 minutes, she wasn't tiny, she was 8lbs 12oz, which for my first (and a girl) I was pretty shocked about.
So when I got pregnant with my son I just assumed I would have an epidural, I laboured at home until I wanted to be checked and when we got to the hospital I was 4cm dilated, the pain was bearable, so I was admitted and asked if I wanted anything, when I got to 5cm I asked to try gas and air to take the 'edge' off, however I felt drunk and hate that feeling, so at 6cm I had the epidural and felt great, it didn't work on my right side, but I was relaxed and chatting to DH and my mum. Labour was 8 hours total and only pushed for 15 minutes.(Just thought I would give you details behind why I ended up with previous medicated births.)
This is probably my last baby, so I decided I would TRY to go natural. I was with an OB until 26 weeks, then I transferred to a midwife believing they would be more supportive in the natural birthing process.
So, now with 10 weeks left, as long as he's not early!! I am desperately trying to find out the best method for dealing with the pain. I know it depends on the person, but I'm a very anxious person with low pain tolerance, so I was looking at hypnobirthing to try to relax through the contractions and let my body do what it needs to, but I can't really afford the classes ($450 from what I've seen) and I don't know if 10 weeks is enough time to teach myself well enough.
I've been doing yoga and joined DH's gym to work out to help strengthen my body, but I'm still absolutely terrified to the core, mainly about the last bit of labour and the actual getting him out. I apologise for the long post, just wanted to get everything in there and I'm super nervous, so babbling slightly! Thank you in advance!!

 

[aliss]

I would really recommend a home birth. My 1st was a hospital birth (epidural) and 2nd a home birth with no medication. It was far easier to cope with the pain at home, surroundings matter a lot.

 

[AJRSN86]

Thanks for your response. I did think about a home birth, however my midwife told me it's not a good idea because with my first, the placenta got stuck and the doctor had to pretty much shove her entire hand (sorry tmi!!!!) up there to try and loosen it, then with my second a few weeks after his birth, the bleeding didn't slow down, so I went for an ultrasound which showed that there was still some placenta left, so I was prescibed misoprostol and demerol to 'clean out' my uterus or else I would have needed a D&C. Because of this, I have to have an IV needle left in my hand just incase I need to be rushed into emergency surgery to have the placenta removed, they want to be prepared.

My midwife did say that she would come to my house whilst I'm in labour so she can check how far dilated I am so that I don't worry about not getting to the hospital in time, but that this way I'm not in the hospital to be able to receive the epidural and we can leave the house when I'm around 7cm so as that I'll be further along by the time we get there. So, she's very supportive, I'm just worried that I won't be able to handle the pain once I get past a certain point and then I'll lose my mind!! lol

 

[amjon]

You can probably get enough information about hypnosis/ hypno birthing online (I used a self hypnosis technique for dealing with pain as I delivered at 27 weeks, so had no birthing classes at all). I could have gone all the way without anything.

 

[solitaire89]

If you can't afford hypnotherapy classes, try a natal hypnotherapy birth preparation cd. Choose the one that best suits your circumstances though, so in your case a hospital birth one, rather than a home birth one. If you do decide to go down that route, then I would listen to it everyday and build in some triggers of your own, for example, I would always use some lavender oil every time I listened to the cd. HTH

 

[AJRSN86]

Thanks for all the replies, I really appreciate it.
So, yesterday I went and got the Hypnobirthing book by Michelle L. O'Neill (The Leclaire method) and I downloaded 2 albums from iTunes, one is Birth music and the other is a 4 step relaxation album, it has the introduction, birth preparation and rehearsal, breathing for contractions and birth and affirmations. I figured with the iTunes I can put them on my ipod and listen to them privately whilst blocking out any outside disturbances whilst in labour.

I've done some of the relaxation album and listened to the birth music whilst reading and doing the script from the book, so I'm hoping that will help. It's very relaxing and soothing right now, but I guess I'll only really find out if it works on the day! The women I've seen in the videos on youtube seem to be having as much of a fantastic time giving birth as is humanly possible, so one like that would suit me to a 'T'

I will also definitely try the lavender, I never thought about including scents and pregnancy safe aromatherapy oils etc, I'm not sure why I didn't think of that as my mother does Reiki, Reflexology and massage, so there is plenty of that to go around!!

Thank you again so much!! I already feel a lot better with the ideas you ladies have given!!

 

[Jingles23]

Hi, just wanted to add my pain coping tips. I did my whole labour and birth with my daughter med free in the hospital. I found the best way to cope was standing leaning of the back of a chair and swaying back and forth. When I was made to lay down to check progress, it got way more uncomfortable and unbearable. Standing, walking, and moving really helps. Maybe research some different positions and just try them to find what works for you. I know a lot of people find baths, showers, or excersice balls really helpful. I think the hypnobirthing cd's are great for helping you relax, not focus on the pain, and not panic.
Ok, that was a lot but I hope it helps. You can do this!

 

[Halle71]

I have had two natural births now (tried gas and air first time but it made me sick) and most of my second (I was in labour this time last week!) was spent in a pool although I got out to deliver. I can honestly say that the overwhelming feeling when it came time to push was relief that it was nearly over. Yes it really hurt and felt like there was no way I could possibly push a baby out but the end, and my baby, was in sight. I had minor tears and stitches both times but other than this, the pain stopped the second I delivered and it was all worthwhile.
I have to be honest and say that it was actually the contractions that I was more scared about second time round.

 

[MindUtopia]

Definitely do the hypnotherapy at home. We're doing natal hypnotherapy (similar to hypnobirthing, but cheaper and slightly different). We did take the class, which was really helpful and empowering, but I'd been using the CDs before this on my own and still found them to be really great. You just actually have to practice. Not while you're doing other things, but in a quiet room when you can really put yourself into a deeply relaxed state and listen to the birth prep track. And you have to do it regularly, 2-3 times a week at least. Plenty of people do it on their own and don't take the classes and still find it's really beneficial. In fact, while the class was really inspiring and helped to increase our confidence in our ability to have a natural birth, I can't say I really learned anything new that I couldn't have gotten just from the book. The techniques are really easy. They just require time and effort to practice. So definitely do it. If it helps, then fantastic. If you find it doesn't, then surely it hasn't hurt to take some time out to relax in the last weeks of pregnancy either, right?

 

[lynnikins]

i had all 3 without strong medication I used tens and water in alternation for the first 2 labours and nothing for the 3rd which was a homebirth,

i used relaxation techniques and kept myself busy mentally through my final labour and laboured mostly at home relaxed of course it hurt but i knew that would happen and had prepared myself mentally for that